joyfulgirl333 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 This is my story and I have to share it. I'll start by fully admitting that I was a fool from the start and I did not walk away many times when I knew I should have and now my heart is broken. I am not a victim of anything other than my own choices. We met on plenty of fish in August of 2015. I was in a particularly bad place at the time. I was an alcoholic in relapse, still broken from my own failed marriage in 2013. I taught college courses and stayed drunk the rest of the time. I was looking for someone, anyone, to fill this giant void inside me. And there he was. Outgoing, charismatic, brilliant, clever...everything I wanted. I was drunk on the first date, and slept with him in his hotel room he had gotten since he was from an hour away. The next weekend, another hotel room, and a sexual marathon. We had a third date a week later when I met him halfway and parked my car st a Walmart and he drove us to a secluded property. He claimed to be separated for two years with divorce papers pending. By that evening, when we were on the phone, he confessed to having no papers and still lived in the basement of his home with his wife and wasn't moving out for two and a half more years. Again, I was drunk and was like, okay. When I sobered up the next day, I found the Facebook of his "ex wife" that showed that he appeared to be happily married. I called to end things and he begged and pleaded it wasn't what it looked like and said (after three dates) that he was falling in love with me. In my wasted, broken state, that was enough. I stayed in relapse the rest of the fall, living for time he would come to my apartment late at night and have sex with me and leave by the next morning early claiming he had to work since he was a private investigator. Our relationship had to be a complete secret because he said it would complicate his divorce. In January of last year, I got sober. And I began to demand that he move out. I would stop speaking to him and he would contact me begging and I would fall back in. He got a separation agreement last April, but continued to live in the home. We had to continue to be a secret, him coming over at odd timesThe sex was always phenomenal and we had this deep, passionate chemistry and made plans for a future and he even took my ring size. We studied the bible and prayed and texted and talked from sun up to sun down. He displayed no empathy for my unhappiness and frustration st the secrecy and hiddenness. I was always just an angry, crazy woman. Finally I talked to his supposed ex wife and she was shocked because tho separated he wastr still work things out with her. He was lying to us both. This went on for months. My unhappiness grew and our fights did too. He suddenly decided to work things out with her which I discovered via Facebook. He was still trying to sleep with me. He then claimed to be confused about what he wanted and about to have a psychological breakdown. I ended it then. Nothing good comes of relapse. I am now. facing my fear of being alone and working on my own healing. It isn't about the other person but about what it was in me that would attract and hold on to such a person. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Thank you for sharing. I wouldn't call your story ridiculous - I'd call it real and true and honest. You already know what went wrong. And you got rid of both your damaging addictions - alcohol and the ex-MM. And you have taken full ownership. These are all positive things. What's your next step? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Good for you for working on recovery and jettisoning that user from your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 I wish you well in your quest for sobriety. It's not easy. It seems to be critical to you in turning your life around. Do you have a plan to achieve sobriety? Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 It isn't about the other person but about what it was in me that would attract and hold on to such a person. yes, and it takes people a long time to realize this, it's great that you can see this now. Heal yourself and focus on you and when you are healthy you will attract healthy people. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Wishing you all the best going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
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