Author Sylphie Posted July 24, 2005 Author Share Posted July 24, 2005 Just wondering what everyone's opinion is of having a GF/BF who openly points out attractive qualities in other women/men in a rather excited manner.. ie: "**** she has nice legs" or "God he's so sexy *drool*" etc. I'm left feeling a little sick/hurt as my BF of 7 months has only just started doing this. I at first assumed it was baiting me, to see if we were able to be 'open' like so, yet I don't see anything in other people the way he see's things in other women. I get told it's BS but is eriously don't find myself attracted to others, I am so lucky to have him. The legs comment especially hurt, I know it is a little insignificant, as he loves me and all that jazz. But I was more upset that after I calmly told him why it bothered/bothers me, he told me to get over it - That he will look and that despite loving me, there are tons of other sexy women in the world. I am pretty sensitive as you may gather. This hurt me and I don't know why he won't accept my feelings on the matter. Is it really not a big deal? I mean, I just wanted to be open.. and he is getting so defensive. Now I'm getting all paranoid and thinking the worst from the original statement. "Is he thinking of that girl when we're intimate?" "Does he want me to work harder than I already do on my legs/back/tummy etc?" Aaargh. Someone, bring me back to sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Have you asked him not to comment on other women like that around you? There's nothing wrong with looking - that's natural. But... if you find him commenting about it to you tactless, then there's nothing that says you have to continue putting up with it. Just ask him to stop commenting on other women when he's with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sylphie Posted July 24, 2005 Author Share Posted July 24, 2005 I have. He says that he feels like he has to 'bite his tongue' around me if he does so. Do you think I am overreacting about his comments? Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Man... That's just stupid and rude. You should start commenting on other dudes packages and give him a complex about his. Then when he asks, say it is a good size. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Its human nature to look. We all at some point will admire qualitites that others may have. However, its one thing to look and keep the comments to yourself and its another to verbally tell them to your spouse or s/o. I think its kind of disrespectful. It doesn't mean that just because he likes those qualitites in others that he thinks of you any less, but if it bothers you and you have told him how it makes you feel, and he keeps doing it, do it to him. Next time you see a nice looking guy, just casually say, "he has nice looking face, chest, legs", etc, or whatever comes to mind. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but SOMETIMES it may get the point across. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Talking about other guys faces won't work the same way. Women are self-conscious about their bodies. Guys are self-consious about their penises and/or ability. Talk about packages. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Originally posted by Horse Man... That's just stupid and rude. You should start commenting on other dudes packages and give him a complex about his. Then when he asks, say it is a good size. He is rude and a pig if he can't see that his comments hurt you. If you really want to play tit for tat you might do as Horse suggests. It should get a rise out of him if he is as most of us males. We never want our packages compared to other guys. If he gets mad you know you have hit a nerve. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Hmm.. I guess all you can do is let him know that if he doesn't practice some tact then you are going to leave the relationship. You aren't asking him to change his thinking, nor are you trying to control his thinking - all you are asking him to do is to be more tactful around you with what he says. If he can't bring himself to be tactful and respectful of your wishes not to be a verbal horndog around you, then you may want to consider the fact that he may lack the emotional investment in you that would make him want to respect your wishes that he be more tactful. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Gawd what a jerk!!! I could never be with a man who makes such disrespectful comments. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamgirl03 Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 My man does the same ****..i`ve been with him just over 2 years..and i`m pretty sensitive to things like that too..mostly cuz most of my life ive never felt like anyone cares about me or loves me and now that i have a serious BF and all, i feel little bit more secure..but when he does things like that it really hurts. The more i say something, the more he does it, yet the more i let it slide the more he does it..like it doesnt even matter how i feel about it. And i dont check out guys either..i just dont find myself attracted to anyone else. I guess its just a guy thing... <shrug> Link to post Share on other sites
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