sadgirl17 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 hi everyone, I just ended a two year affair (on and off). Has been one week no contact. I suffered horrible withdrawal symptoms which exactly mirror those of a drug addicts: feeling nauseous, shaking, an intense feeling of craving. I just want to know whether anyone here suffered from similar symptoms post affair. If you did, how did you deal with them? How long did they last? Any tips? today i wanted to call him so badly, like a drug addict trying to get a fix. I tried really hard not to and post here instead. Hope to get support from the wonderful loveshack people. Thanks everyone in advance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
drypuddle Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 There were times when we would go NC and it was awful. I experienced what I would consider withdrawal symptoms. I relied heavily on friends to get me through. I'd set mini goals for myself because it was too overwhelming to think about not talking to him for weeks. So at first it started out with one day, and then three days, and then a week. I ended up telling his wife about our affair (long story and unrelated to going NC). That ended the withdrawal symptoms for me, knowing it was done once and for all and that there was no going back. Link to post Share on other sites
deadsoul Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Yes. I experienced it too. Stay strong and keep posting here. I promise it gets easier, but the first couple months are the hardest. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 (edited) Like dry puddle said I set mini goals too. Wrote on a calender ( that gave my H a clue on my EA and DDay happened, Yeah that) when to give myself a treat when i follow. First 3 days then extend to 5, then a week and then 2 weeks... I dragged myself to a month, I gave myself a coffee treat at a coffee shop. The guilt of affair had reduced so it motivated me more..now 4 months in NC First two weeks is hectic. Then sadness for a month ... then you see a little bit of light faar way but you know its there...thats how I felt. There is no shortcut. The pain is the only way and NC although seems hard, it does work slowly but surely. Just last week I almost recorded a voice message to him saying that he was an addiction and wasnt love to me..BUT something strange happened!..A epiphany that I really dont want to send anything at all to him!.. I just didnt want any contact from the bottom of my heart!!!. I deleted the voicemail and relaxed. It was a releif. If you trust NC and stick to it.. it will show beautiful results. Good luck Edited February 23, 2017 by freengreen Link to post Share on other sites
drypuddle Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 I'd also seriously view the symptoms as withdrawals... I would reason that this sadness was simply my brain freaking out from missing all of those good feelings. It helped draw some emotion away from the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
HeCantBreakMe Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 There were times when we would go NC and it was awful. I experienced what I would consider withdrawal symptoms. I relied heavily on friends to get me through. I'd set mini goals for myself because it was too overwhelming to think about not talking to him for weeks. So at first it started out with one day, and then three days, and then a week. I ended up telling his wife about our affair (long story and unrelated to going NC). That ended the withdrawal symptoms for me, knowing it was done once and for all and that there was no going back. This is a great point as it is a huge mental game. Knowing he is there waiting for you to come back makes it harder to stick to NC. If you mentally let it go, shut the door, know there is no hope and move forward it will be easier to get through NC. Also, some other things that help: - NC means no contact, no looking at social media, no reading old emails none of that- Block him and run - Start finding other hobbies, working out is very helpful so maybe start there - Keep busy- find new friends, reconnect with friends but stay busy - Journal, start reading and gathering information on affairs, limerence, etc. knowledge is truly power here - Don't do anything that reminds you of, don't listen to old songs, or go to restaurants you went to, throw away anything he gave you. Purge this man from your life. - Volunteer, give back and help others - Start counseling to help you through the withdrawals you do need support - Biggest one- mentally SHUT THE DOOR. Do you work with this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Read the 1st page of this thread, especially the opening post. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion Let it sink in, read it over and over again when you feel like calling him. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Taxed Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 hi everyone, I just ended a two year affair (on and off). Has been one week no contact. I suffered horrible withdrawal symptoms which exactly mirror those of a drug addicts: feeling nauseous, shaking, an intense feeling of craving. I just want to know whether anyone here suffered from similar symptoms post affair. If you did, how did you deal with them? How long did they last? Any tips? today i wanted to call him so badly, like a drug addict trying to get a fix. I tried really hard not to and post here instead. Hope to get support from the wonderful loveshack people. Thanks everyone in advance. Yes, I am in the middle of it and I reckognize the symptoms from the first weeks - I literally had the shakes! Nightmares and in general a broken sleep pattern. In the beginning I was vacillating between despair, anger and grief. I still vacillate, but in general I feel that am beginning to stabilize and gain some perspective. Hang in there - I think it really helps to look at the A as a form of addiction, even if there might have been more to it in all its complexity. Link to post Share on other sites
oceansaway Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 It is a addiction. Waking with immediate pit and stomach churning. But it gets better in time. It is a withdrawal process. Key is to stay busy and create new daily routines. Don't get stuck in the past. Find a new routine and DON'T let him be apart of it. You will never forget but it will subside 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jadenlaughs Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 I have had these feelings and in a moment of clarity I realized- they are proof its not love or anything at all that is healthy. All addictions are bad - and being addicted to another human is never good. If you consider healthy relationships youve had - at least I - have come to realize the addictive/withdrawal type feelings dont exist - even when they walk away. Its a more rational, normal, healthy loss when the relationship was real to begin with. As for give it time- it will get better- I guess thats the old saying. It will be 4 months on the 14 of March I am NC and it hasnt really gotten better how Id like it to be. I miss him every day even when part of my brain says what a horrible thing it was when I talked to him daily for a year. (we had a thing 10 years ago that went on for 4 years then NC for 10 years, then started down a bad path again- can you say glutton for punishment??) Logically I know another round with him will only be heartache and bs- but I miss it all the same-like a heroin addict misses the drug whether they admit it or not. Should we miss something as deadly as heroin?? No we shouldnt - but we do. And it sucks. Good luck to everyone out there 'withdrawing' it sucks and its our own damn faults. Link to post Share on other sites
salmonandramen Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 its an addiction and it takes time. you will wake up with a sinking feeling in your heart and stomach, you will feel that life has no meaning and all you feel is emptiness. you will want to reach out. NC is honestly the best for you. If your ex is the type that will not contact you, NC may make your ex miss you but it will also give both of you an opportunity to let go. its the cold hard truth and you will feel that you want to give up on NC because you just cannot let go. Trust me, NC is the best way. Any form of contact with your ex will suck you back into the r/s. You cope by just living life. Find something that makes you look forward to life, be it exercising, shopping or meeting new people. Some days you will feel that you can get through this, but other days you will feel that you are back to square 1. Its normal. Healing takes time and you will be stronger. I recommend 2 things: 1) exercising - get those endorphins pumping and you will feel better and look better too. 2) distraction - it can be in forms of having a new hobby, or meeting new friends. tbh, having a new person is the best form of distraction but that is only for your own selfish reasons and it may not be the best route in the long run. but it helps. everyone heals in their own way. you can do this! Link to post Share on other sites
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