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Girl seems distant


Cjaxrun85

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I have a daughter so I've become very selective about who I date. I haven't brought anyone around my daughter. I also don't have sex with a woman right away it's just not something I do. But I'm not opposed to holding hands or kissing. I've never had an issue with making the first move it usually just happens and most of the time the woman's body language lets me know she ready for that move. It's been a while since the last time I dated and so I'm a little rusty.

 

I agree with you Oatsand Hall. I'm a very simple straight forward person. With my age and my daughter in mind I don't have time for games, it's annoying.

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I went ahead and asked her if we are exclusively dating or if it's open to dating other people, she said she deleted her online profile but is not ready to take that next step to exclusively date.

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CaliforniaGirl
Then she followed up the convo with a text saying let's take a step back

 

Oh, honey...look, you're dragging her through this every step of the way...is it all worth it? I'd give her her step backward, all right. I'd let her initiate. Say yes to the dates occasionally, IF they sounded awesome. Politely decline offers other times. Whether or not you do have something better to do on any given night, even watching TV with friends has got to be better than this frustration, right?

 

Take a BIG step back, and keep quietly looking. She's not feeling this and you're doing all the giving. You deserve better. You sound like a good guy.

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Well I ended up ending things this evening. It just didn't seem to be a healthy thing to be involved in but at least I knocked some of this rust off. I was basically friend zoned. Thanks everyone for your advice I have learned my lesson and let's hope for the best with the next girl.

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Well I ended up ending things this evening. It just didn't seem to be a healthy thing to be involved in but at least I knocked some of this rust off. I was basically friend zoned. Thanks everyone for your advice I have learned my lesson and let's hope for the best with the next girl.

 

She is a good woman, probably, but she's had to get a restraining order for her ex, and those don't usually work very well. That tells me he is harassing and stalking her and has maybe already hurt her before. All that is very very stressful to deal with and it isn't over. I would say it's probably all she can do to just take care of her children right now and that a relationship is a secondary obligation she just doesn't need until her life smooths out. And then who knows.

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To expand upon the restraining order. She has had two against him according to her. She lifted the first one and got back together with him. She got a second one against him a year and a half ago. On our last coffee date she told me she has been letting him violate the restraining order because it's easier for him to drop the kids off at her house. Then she went on and on about how's he a changed man.

 

The more I think about this situation the more I realize she is probably talking to him again and put me on the back burner in case he gets crazy with her again.

 

Your guys thoughts on that?

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Correct, because she has kids with him and life with him. This will always be a factor in any other relationship she should deem to have. You can't even get close to her she can't coupe with you and him. So she chosen him over you. You need just to move on and find a women you can love and she loves you back. It's just you and her not the 3rd person.

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What do you guys think would be the next step?

the next step, CJAXRUN85, is to find someone with fewer kids and more time for you

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CaliforniaGirl
To expand upon the restraining order. She has had two against him according to her. She lifted the first one and got back together with him. She got a second one against him a year and a half ago. On our last coffee date she told me she has been letting him violate the restraining order because it's easier for him to drop the kids off at her house. Then she went on and on about how's he a changed man.

 

The more I think about this situation the more I realize she is probably talking to him again and put me on the back burner in case he gets crazy with her again.

 

Your guys thoughts on that?

 

^ Bolded, underlined: yeah, just no. Run.

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