kinder Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I met a extremely nice guy (he was too nice at the time) that would have done anything for me and always bought me stuff. I liked him but was not ready for another relationship as I just got out of a long term relationship. We have met up since I brushed him off 6 months ago. I would like another chance with him and we have talked about it but I'm pretty sure he is scared. He told me that he wanted to try and work things out but the a couple days later he wasn't sure about it anymore. He doesn't want to get the point where he really likes me and then I brush him off again. I really do want him this time. What should I do to make him feel reassured and let him know I am very interested. He acts like a regular guy towards me now. By a regular guy, I mean not that interested. I believe I have to chase him this time but not sure how to go about it. I do call him and we have done something twice since we met back up three weeks ago. We both work lots so that is why we haven't had much time together. Please give me some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 If you have to chase him, then he's just not that into you. Move on. There are other fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken If you have to chase him, then he's just not that into you. Move on. There are other fish in the sea. Not necessarily! She brushed him off as she says in her own words after he treated her really well. He is obviously very confused now and rightly so. Are you saying he should jump straight back into things and risk getting rejected again? That book 'He's just no that into you' belongs in the bin, right alongside 'The Rules'! If you want another chance with him, prove you are sincere, dont just tell him, show him. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Hip Hip Horray for Simon, I have gotten to the point where i hat ehearing "he's just not that into you" I do have the book and have read the book. It was cute. But that's about it, cute. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken If you have to chase him, then he's just not that into you. Move on. Lol, Jen, get your nose out of that book Kinder, he clearly could be attracted to you. Flirt with him, spend time with him, touch him from time to time. And let him know you're back on the market now. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Lol, Jen, get your nose out of that book Oh come on....I LOVE that book. Every word in it is true. But, you guys might have a point on one thing.... he probably doesn't trust her because she rejected him before. She should let him know she's interested, but then let him make the move to take things any further. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken Oh come on....I LOVE that book. Every word in it is true. But, you guys might have a point on one thing.... Why, thank you for your generous praise Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken Oh come on....I LOVE that book. Every word in it is true. Including the words: lie and untrue. Love makes blind. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 He sounds like a smart guy. He knows to protect his heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kinder Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 Thank you all very much! It sounds stupid because I did it to him but I'm scared as well that I will start to really like him and just get into it and he will turn around and get rid of me. what do you think about this? Also, the last couple of days he has been very stand offish if you know what I mean. I don't exactly know what he is thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Icarus Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 He doesn't want to get the point where he really likes me and then I brush him off again. I really do want him this time. Then tell him this in no uncertain terms! Sit down and talk about it. I had someone do to me exactly what you did to him about 9 mos. ago. Had she come to me months later wanting to pick things up again, trust me, I'd have been a little more than stand-offish myself. She would have had to convince me that she'd moved past the last relationship and was ready for a new one ... WITH ME. Of course, ... there's always the possibility that he's changed his mind about you based on how he got treated last time. Be ready for the possibility that he just isn't interested in taking the risk with someone who's already shot him down once before. But, you'll never know unless YOU pursue it, because I highly doubt he's going to very hard at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 I bought the book yesterday and have read the whole thing. In alot of the situations I believe it has to work both ways, but that's just me and maybe I need to re-read it a few times. Let him know you are interested AND available. Then BE interested and available (but not desperate). Talk to him about it and show him you are sincere. If he wants to pick it up again with you, he will pursue things with you further. If he doesn't then he's not into you, sorry hehe. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 That's exactly what I was getting at MWC. Link to post Share on other sites
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