Bryanp Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Seriously, you are asking the question why she had sex with you and kissed you after screwing her lover? I think the answer is pretty simple especially that she was kissing you on the lips afterwards. She was getting a perverse thrill that she was kissing you after she gave a BJ to her lover. It is a dark way of humiliating you and certainly having you have sex with her knowing she had his semen in her at this time. This is the ultimately in disrespecting you in the most profound way. You would have to be a major masochist to accept this humiliation. If the roles were reversed do you think she would be acting as passive, accepting and forgiving as you? How much humiliation is enough for you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just outta curiosity why do you think that she always had sex with me after. And or always kissed me afterwards.?? She has two men giving her affection and validation. What is not to like about that? She gets variety with him and stability with you. Best of both worlds. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Quote: Originally Posted by GoldenR View Post She did it with your son in the next room, or even asleep on the same bed She did it on your birthday She did it on your anniversary Her out of town trips to work/see family/hang with friends -- she was spending them with him She kissed you minutes after having him in her mouth She had sex with you right after him Believe me, she didn't come clean with much. Just outta curiosity why do you think that she always had sex with me after. And or always kissed me afterwards.?? It does sound like the poster somehow knew something you didn't, Justin, or the one below which is probably even more confusing. I think it's like blues power said: They're just trying to wake you up to the possibilities so you realize it very well COULD have happened and you might as well assume it did. Seriously, you are asking the question why she had sex with you and kissed you after screwing her lover? I think the answer is pretty simple especially that she was kissing you on the lips afterwards. She was getting a perverse thrill that she was kissing you after she gave a BJ to her lover. It is a dark way of humiliating you and certainly having you have sex with her knowing she had his semen in her at this time. This is the ultimately in disrespecting you in the most profound way. You would have to be a major masochist to accept this humiliation. If the roles were reversed do you think she would be acting as passive, accepting and forgiving as you? How much humiliation is enough for you? This is ^^^ a graphic depiction of what very well could have happened, but exaggerated in order to make you angry and motivated. And yes, you do need to feel the anger - and grief - at the indignity and insult of what your wife has done. But do be clear about what you actually know and what is probability, especially when talking to her or a lawyer. Using 'fake facts' (cousin to 'fake news' if you will) makes you react, but it's important to know the difference since you need to figure things out for yourself, make your own decisions and ACT—not just REact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 dude, I haven't read all teh replies yet, but the short answer is, no. You will never trust her 100% again, and you shouldn't even try. What you just learned is that NOBODY can, or should be, trusted 100%, ever. Trust and $4.00 will get you a cappuccino. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I'm glad your son is your biological son. To answer your question and answer, your wife had sex with you after him, as she was horny and turned on. I know one WW who said she gave 24 hours between sex with her husband and the OM and of course she always showered between men. I do agree with Mermeade though. The way things are said are deliberately to inflame the OP. That can't really a help a person who's already hurting so badly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 I'm glad your son is your biological son. To answer your question and answer, your wife had sex with you after him, as she was horny and turned on. I know one WW who said she gave 24 hours between sex with her husband and the OM and of course she always showered between men. I do agree with Mermeade though. The way things are said are deliberately to inflame the OP. That can't really a help a person who's already hurting so badly. It's like try I g to run Salt in my wounds Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Does she know your proceeding with a divorce? Are you still in the same house as her? Is she expecting your giving her another chance or has she already planned on a divorce as well? C Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again and will never see or talk to this man again, should I forgive her, some men can never forgive such a thing and immediately file for divorce. But she TOLD YOU, without any pressure or suspicion on your part, all about it. If you think she was totally honest, was not holding anything back (i.e. trickle truthing you)....i would say that was a VERY positive sign. I would "Trust, but verify". She has to give you all the passwords to all social media, phones, websites, etc, and has to hide nothing from here on out. See if she is doing the heavy lifting to prove she deserves your love, and if so...see if you can forgive her. Also, i would consider counseling to help figure out what she though was missing from your sex life that convinced her to cheat on you. maybe a little sexual tune up is in order here, to keep her happy. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Listen, would it be possible for you to actually give us a current update about how you are feeling? We do truly want to know. What are your plans? How is your wife acting. Maybe you could give is a couple of medium paragraphs so we can better understand what is going on? It might help to organize and process our feelings... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 Listen, would it be possible for you to actually give us a current update about how you are feeling? We do truly want to know. What are your plans? How is your wife acting. Maybe you could give is a couple of medium paragraphs so we can better understand what is going on? It might help to organize and process our feelings... I'm following through with the divorce, my so-called wife is staying at her families house I told them what happened and they have been very supportive of me and my decision, they said even though she's their daughter, they can't excuse her behavior and WILL NOT. SHE called me all last week leaving message but I haven't responded to shut. MOTHER-**** WHATEVER SHE HAS TO SAY TO ME. I have to go see my lawyelawyer tomorrow for the next steps which is setting a court date hopefully this month. I'm still angry OBVIOUSLY. My son is with ME of course, and her sister seems like she wants to be that shoulder for me to lean on, but I'm not sure if I should let her be that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I'm glad your son is your biological son. To answer your question and answer, your wife had sex with you after him, as she was horny and turned on. I know one WW who said she gave 24 hours between sex with her husband and the OM and of course she always showered between men. I do agree with Mermeade though. The way things are said are deliberately to inflame the OP. That can't really a help a person who's already hurting so badly. If this WW only gave 24 hours then she did not allow her body enough time for it to clean itself of the OM's fluids. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 This is crazy, I read the same story about 1 to 2 years ago. I am sure I could find it again. At least you are not the first this has happened to. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 If this WW only gave 24 hours then she did not allow her body enough time for it to clean itself of the OM's fluids. good lord in heaven give it a rest. He is utterly and completely reactive. Do you think he's going to back out that you have to keep... ...try I g to run Salt in my wounds?? It's just cruel at this point. He's doing what you want. Leave it already. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 I just wonder if they screwed every single day. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 The problem is you'll never know as it was a private party you weren't invited to. IMO a hard 180 as little contact as you can. Never answer a phone call direct, let it go to voicemail, only reply to texts concerning the child, keep those short and civil, cut off any engagement/chat, all pick ups, drops offs should be a 5 minute exercise. If you can do this you'll move on a lot quicker and not linger in limbo hell as long. It's your best option. Half your marriage and if the truth is known maybe all your marriage was a well hidden lie. Long term affairs are very destructive. It will take awhile but the sooner you start the quicker you'll get to where you need to be. Sorry man 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 Yes forgive her for your own healing, then kick her out if you haven't already and file for divorce. She can never be trusted again if she can do something like this to you. I wouldn't even trust her around the mailman. She's disgusting and so is your friend. Why haven't you confronted him about what he has done to you and why is she still there? Im not sure how I should have confronted him about it....how should and would YOU have approached him?? Sorry for the late reply. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I can't say how I would confront your "friend". I can say that my wife's AP, a so called friend, wound up in the hospital needing several stitches, but I don't know how that happened... How are you doing by the way? I just cannot imagine what you are feeling like. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Well, Together for 10 years 5 year old son Messing around with your friend for 6 years.... Dude, sorry...but, you never had a marriage to begin with. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 5 year old son Messing around with your friend for 6 years. Sorry if this has already been covered, but if the affair started 6 years ago, and the OP has a 5 year old son, has the OP done a DNA test on his son? Just doing the math, this seems an obvious thing to do no matter how much the OP may think that the son looks like him. Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Sorry if this has already been covered, but if the affair started 6 years ago, and the OP has a 5 year old son, has the OP done a DNA test on his son? Just doing the math, this seems an obvious thing to do no matter how much the OP may think that the son looks like him. Try, the OP had paternity tests done years ago - see post 10. Like Mr Lucky, see post 13, I'm curious to know why the OP had paternity tests all those years ago when the infidelity only came to light recently. Did you suspect something back then Justin? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 Try, the OP had paternity tests done years ago - see post 10. Like Mr Lucky, see post 13, I'm curious to know why the OP had paternity tests all those years ago when the infidelity only came to light recently. Did you suspect something back then Justin? No, but my overprotective mother just wanted it done anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 Well, Together for 10 years 5 year old son Messing around with your friend for 6 years.... Dude, sorry...but, you never had a marriage to begin with. Sounds like what my other friends said.... Anyway my wife is GONE and its just me and my son now... 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Was there something about your ex that sent you mother into over protection mode? I see you made a post on another thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/616308-betrayed-wife-brother-3.html#post7250611. Do you have any reason to think you are in the same boat? Have you discussed this matter with your mom? Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 When did she leave? Did you tell her to leave or just tell her you were divorcing her? Does she come around to see your child? Did you file for divorce? If you did. Did you ask for full custody? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 When did she leave? Did you tell her to leave or just tell her you were divorcing her? Does she come around to see your child? Did you file for divorce? If you did. Did you ask for full custody? Im getting full custody AND the house. She gets him on the weekends bringing him back Sunday night. The judge didnt see fit that she gets half of the house due to the gravity of the affair. She gets whatever she had when we met and half of the bank acct, but the HOUSE IS MINE!!!!!! 11 Link to post Share on other sites
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