Just a Guy Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Hi Justin, so you are still a young man with a lot of possibilities in the Romantic field. Good women will gravitate towards you, never fear. As far as the question that seems to be bothering you since you have repeated it I think that is just not it. As Cephalopod has said you did not even enter her chain of thought when she did this. She wanted to do it, she had the opportunity and her AP was ready and willing. The conditions were right and she plunged headlong into it. After all, in her mind she was getting the best of both worlds. The stability of a so called happy marriage and home and the freedom of being a single woman having a good time sowing her wild oats. What you should try and ascertain if at all is why she confessed. Was it because her cover was blown and if it was who was the person she feared would reveal her secret to you. This also is something that you may pursue idly. It is not an important part of your current situation. The only good thing that will come if it is that you will probably get to know who your anonymous friend is and you could thank him/ her for being a friend in need. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Black Knight Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 That is a long period of time to live in deception and betrayal. I read other comments and I gravitate to the same conclusion. Why did she confess now? She hid the affair for so long it must have been some other factors that made her confess. Was your ex-friend married and his spouse was going to find out? She now conveniently says she loved you but remember it takes two to tango their both to blame and I know it hurts and is painful from an emotional stand point. If she had no motive for cheating the question is WHY? The only person that can answer that is her and as painful as it may be you have to find out to answer your own question of why. Are you two going to counseling or did you divorce her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 That is a long period of time to live in deception and betrayal. I read other comments and I gravitate to the same conclusion. Why did she confess now? She hid the affair for so long it must have been some other factors that made her confess. Was your ex-friend married and his spouse was going to find out? She now conveniently says she loved you but remember it takes two to tango their both to blame and I know it hurts and is painful from an emotional stand point. If she had no motive for cheating the question is WHY? The only person that can answer that is her and as painful as it may be you have to find out to answer your own question of why. Are you two going to counseling or did you divorce her? I divorced her, I'm not sure why she told me, She never said that the OM wife found out or not. I just wonder how often they could have done it, Where else besides my home? What kind of conversations they had when they were together, We're there any signs obvious or subliminal We're there any behavior patterns from both of them that I could have missed. Any routine changes, UUUGGGHH It's endless to think about. But I still anna know. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Get into counseling before this becomes an obsession. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I divorced her, I'm not sure why she told me, She never said that the OM wife found out or not. I just wonder how often they could have done it, Where else besides my home? What kind of conversations they had when they were together, We're there any signs obvious or subliminal We're there any behavior patterns from both of them that I could have missed. Any routine changes, UUUGGGHH It's endless to think about. But I still anna know. Hang in there & have no contact with her that isn't absolutely necessary and all of this hurt will begin to heal and all of these memories will begin to fade. Believe me, not seeing her face everyday is the best medicine for moving past a WW... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Don't pursue it any further. You got what you wanted, and got rid of trash. Don't change your personality now, just to be spiteful. You should just have no contact any more, and move on. It would show her that you have nothing more to do with her, and as far as your life is concerned, she is not in it any longer, and you are moving on. Continue with litigation, and you do harm to your financial position (It doesn't mean he will pay out, especially if he's broke), by paying your lawyers. Plus, attending court, and continuing to listen to stories of the affair, and your wife for months and months. Cut all ties, take your child on a holiday (Disneyland, whatever), enjoy yourself, and find some one else to spend time on. Don't go down the Revenge path, as its not worth it. Ask yourself, is SHE worth it ?. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So show her that. Ted. Your BEST revenge is to be happy and live well without this piece of trash in your life. You can do that. Do not give her any more energy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Divorce. By grabbing the bull by the horns and divorcing her you have solved &0%+ of the problems you would have encountered bad you felt the need to attempt reconciliation only to find it was a false reconciliation You will never in all likelihood receive answers to your continuing questions. She's not only a liar and a cheater, but one whose sense of morality and fairness is so warped that she'll have a million reasons not to be truthful with you. You probably read the proverb here: no new contact means no new hurts. Keep that in mind if you feel tempted to communicate with her. And don't get the bright idea of asking OM. He didn't cheat on you and hasn't told you lies. He'll brush you off but most assuredly will contact XW to let her know you are still bothered by what she did to you. And if she's typically WW material still, all she'll hear is "he's still thinking of me!" She likes ego strokes, remember? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 I divorced her, I'm not sure why she told me, She is currently man-less an threw out some bait. Any excuse to make contact without asking directly if you want to reconnect. Link to post Share on other sites
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