Chrisb Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Hi, looking for opinions and advice, would really appreciate input. Been with my gf nearly 2 years, we've had our rows but on the whole it's been great, she always talks about kids, marraige and getting a place together, we're currently saving for that. Last week she told me she'd had a message from a guy who fancies her, she always tells me when guys message her or if she's been hit on, which I've not had from previous relationships but ok. A couple days later I ask if she's messaged him back and she says no but she looks very shifty, like she's lying. It was naughty maybe but when she went to the toilet I checked her messages and she had messaged him back a couple of times. The guy is going to a event that she is going to soon, up north and I haven't been invited, so he's asked her is she'll be taking a date (so he obviously doesn't know about me, and it sounds like he's trying to find out if she'll be available?), and she replies "no I'm not taking a date". I'm going to speak to her about it over the weekend, I was hoping to get some pinions first though to see what others think, do you think it's innocent, a bit bad or do you think this is serious? Really appreciate any comments! Thanks. Chris. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 If it was innocent she would have been more forthcoming. I meet male friends occasionally & often attend events, usually for work. DH knows about these meetings & he's met the men. It's nothing that is a threat to our marriage. Your situation is different because she is hiding things & lying. Do speak to her but put your guard up. There is more to this then a few texts. I highly doubt you two are going to end up living together. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Of course it was innocent!! LOL. How could it be anything else? LMFAO! Your girlfriend simply forgot to tell you she messaged him back, forgot to tell you that this guy was going to be there, and forgot to tell; him that you existed. All of those are nothing more than just happy accidents and minor oversights....you are all good. She'll even tell you that you don't have anything to worry about. Which should be the case....she should not have anything to worry about when meeting him because she will be doing that as a single woman. Because only a fool would hesitate to dump her on the spot for pulling this stunt. You know the answer, and you rally don't need any of us telling you what is blatantly clear. Get rid of her today or you'll regret it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Of course it was innocent!! LOL. How could it be anything else? LMFAO! Your girlfriend simply forgot to tell you she messaged him back, forgot to tell you that this guy was going to be there, and forgot to tell; him that you existed. All of those are nothing more than just happy accidents and minor oversights....you are all good. She'll even tell you that you don't have anything to worry about. Which should be the case....she should not have anything to worry about when meeting him because she will be doing that as a single woman. Because only a fool would hesitate to dump her on the spot for pulling this stunt. You know the answer, and you rally don't need any of us telling you what is blatantly clear. Get rid of her today or you'll regret it. Yep. And, she is planning to forget to tell you they are going to meet up while there. She is also going to forget to tell you they are going to go out for dinner. She is also going to forget to tell you they are going to sleep together , and especially, she is going to forget to tell you all about the sex they are going to have, while you are home holding down the fort. So, I'd be worried your girlfriend has a form of early onset dementia - called (in Latin ) vaginis cheaterosis. Of course, she will deny up the wazoo that anything is going to happen, and they are just 'friends', and maybe she will even pull out the big guns and start crying... then she will turn it around on you and get mad that you don't trust her and snooped her phone... dude, just wish her a happy life, and kick her out of the house. She will be able to shack up with her OM - but first, contact him to let him know what type of person she is - he probably thinks she is single... good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 (edited) She lied to you about something which could have huge implications regarding fidelity in a relationship. This isn't a minor lie; it's a lie involving another man. You should have a Zero tolerance policy for this. She does not pass go... She does not collect $200 You need to NEXT her. Period. Perhaps then she will learn you don't ever mess around with the truth on something like this. She will definitely remember you as the one strong man who didn't let her get away with bull****. Meanwhile... while it won't be easy, you at least acted like a man and are opening a door to move on to better people. (You better believe you would be too in this case because it's true.) Edited February 25, 2017 by fireflywy 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 I wouldn't be so determind about "getting rid of her". In the outcome she told him no. But I think you should confront to her about the lies, as you already planed to do. I know how lies can be a slippery slope. Once you dismiss small lies, believe me, it's getting to grow and grow. So she must understan the need of 100% honesty in a relationship. And for that, omission is also considered as a lie. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 OP you know exactly what it is she's a lying no good POS I would get rid of her... OK you know she liked her to your face... Link to post Share on other sites
MIKEB1950 Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 ha of course there will be the reasons why she did not tell you: 1. she knew how you would react 2. she did not want you to worry then 3. are you saying you do not trust me 4. so you do not want me to go to this important event clearly you did not trust her anyway otherwise you would not have checked her phone and if that is the case what are you giving up - 2 years of distrust when you should have gone past that stage by now. of course you might be thinking that by giving her the spanish archer now she might just have a greater incentive to really enjoy herself away from you; she might even have found something more exciting and certainly different. and if she did succumb to this other guys charms would you allow her back into your life. if you do not get rid before she goes how will you know if she did anything, do you have any friends in her circle that would tell you, that might be at the same event. lots to think about! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 This is grounds to breakup with her....she is fishing for a new BF and that can't be anymore obvious. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ostepop Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 While she might not be entirely fishing for a new boyfriend, she certainly does look prepared to cheat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 The guy is going to a event that she is going to soon, up north and I haven't been invited, so he's asked her is she'll be taking a date (so he obviously doesn't know about me, and it sounds like he's trying to find out if she'll be available?), and she replies "no I'm not taking a date" I'm so sorry, Chris, I just totally missed the meaning of everthing. (Forgive me because I don't speak english very well). I thought that she told him she's not taking a date, meaning she rejected him. But after re-reading, I understand that she actually told him that she's free and available there. I think this is a deal breaker. By the way - Whay weren't you invited to this event? Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 Chris, lets first look at what we do know, she's lying about talking to the other guy, looks as if they're making plans to meet up at the even (I am assuming that this is a business event hence you're not attending). Is this the state of your relationship? If so, I'd say time to cut and run as if you don't on your terms, she's going to after or just before the event. Just my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 Hi, looking for opinions and advice, would really appreciate input. Been with my gf nearly 2 years, we've had our rows but on the whole it's been great, she always talks about kids, marraige and getting a place together, we're currently saving for that. Last week she told me she'd had a message from a guy who fancies her, she always tells me when guys message her or if she's been hit on, which I've not had from previous relationships but ok. A couple days later I ask if she's messaged him back and she says no but she looks very shifty, like she's lying. It was naughty maybe but when she went to the toilet I checked her messages and she had messaged him back a couple of times. The guy is going to a event that she is going to soon, up north and I haven't been invited, so he's asked her is she'll be taking a date (so he obviously doesn't know about me, and it sounds like he's trying to find out if she'll be available?), and she replies "no I'm not taking a date". I'm going to speak to her about it over the weekend, I was hoping to get some pinions first though to see what others think, do you think it's innocent, a bit bad or do you think this is serious? Really appreciate any comments! Thanks. Chris. I would tell her that as a surprise you've made arrangements to be with her there and seeing some sites on her free time . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Techmonkey Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 It might net you painful results or start a ****ty argument, but I'd confront her directly about and simply ask her why she lied to you. Is this "event" something you could be invited to? If so, tell her the compromise is to bring you. She lied to you. I can't see any innocent reasoning for her actions. Definitely give her a chance to come clean and prove herself. If she can't do that, time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
anzhoulau Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 It might net you painful results or start a ****ty argument, but I'd confront her directly about and simply ask her why she lied to you. Is this "event" something you could be invited to? If so, tell her the compromise is to bring you. She lied to you. I can't see any innocent reasoning for her actions. Definitely give her a chance to come clean and prove herself. If she can't do that, time to move on. 100% on this. Link to post Share on other sites
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