Was I silly to turn this down?

[normal person]

Not really a competitive sporty guy. The sport I do is for fun and mostly to just be alone with myself and my thoughts.

 

Competing against your own concept of what you're capable of, regardless of the area, can allow you to break some real barriers.

 

I think life for me at least is much better since I let some of this go, sure I am still under pressure to actually date someone and I am teased about it often.

 

If life is better this way for you, so be it. Most people want partners, but some of those people don't have enough of a competitive drive to go out of their way to get one, which is fine. Perhaps someday if your desire for a partner exceeds your happiness, it might be time to get into the trenches a bit. But for now if you're content, so be it. I wouldn't worry about what other people say (although it's sort of strange for an adult to tease another adult about this sort of thing). And to be honest, if you stay on your own path it's quite possible that you might just luck into meeting someone at some point. Most of these things I've mentioned are basically to expedite or enhance the process, but if you're fine doing your own thing and betting that your time will come or that your person will emerge, that's well within your right. Best of luck.

[ZA Dater]

Competing against your own concept of what you're capable of, regardless of the area, can allow you to break some real barriers.

 

 

 

If life is better this way for you, so be it. Most people want partners, but some of those people don't have enough of a competitive drive to go out of their way to get one, which is fine. Perhaps someday if your desire for a partner exceeds your happiness, it might be time to get into the trenches a bit. But for now if you're content, so be it. I wouldn't worry about what other people say (although it's sort of strange for an adult to tease another adult about this sort of thing). And to be honest, if you stay on your own path it's quite possible that you might just luck into meeting someone at some point. Most of these things I've mentioned are basically to expedite or enhance the process, but if you're fine doing your own thing and betting that your time will come or that your person will emerge, that's well within your right. Best of luck.

 

I think its more of people wanting me to do what they like to do and thus when I don't well the questions are asked as to why. Why I don't go out and try to get laid, why I don't take people on dates, why I always do things on my own. Its probably exactly this that started my whole conformist argument because its rare that I don't find people judging me in some form or other for the things I don't do but am apparently supposed to do.

 

A lot of the mechanics of getting to know people and dating perhaps are not as complicated as they seem its probably more the fact one is either prepared to feel awkward or one isn't. Logically its a case of, if I do this that may result but when you go with the mind set of well I have done this and that's never been the result you are somewhat less inclined to try again. I can flirt, I have tried before, its extremely hard work but I can do it but the person needs to be receptive and there needs to be some sort of foundation or talking point.

 

Don't think I will stop looking but I will try and make the looking part a more pleasant less dour experience than it has been in the past.