MarcoInaros Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Hi. I'm 37 and single, and I've never had a girlfriend but I've always wanted one. But looking over my life, I think I've had trouble making friends in general, and my social life has really suffered. I think one of the things I really struggle at is initiating. I never plan and do things...I'm just a follower. I follow what other people do - meaning that I wait for other people to invite me to do things, or I wait until I see an event or invite on facebook. Every time I think of inviting others to do something I freeze up because I wonder: what if they don't want to go? What if they do come but don't enjoy themeselves? What if our friendship suffers because it doesn't go well? I think with these types of questions I usually don't invite people and I just end up doing everything alone, which is sad. And why I'm still single. I'm also ashamed of my small crappy apartment which I can't invite people over to, which is hindering my social life. Some people excel at making friends and getting girlfriends, and I've never been one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 People have free will. They can say no if they don't want to accept your invite. If they come & don't have a good time, that shouldn't negatively impact your friendship. They had as much input into making the outing successful as you did once they got there so it's not all on you. Start small. Ask somebody to have coffee or get a drink with you. Plan the event to last 1 hour. With women, spend a week just smiling at random women of all ages, shapes & sizes. Just smile. Not creepy, just friendly. The following week, say hello to people. Just hi. Nothing more. Kind of a smile & a nod. Notice of how kindly people respond. Build from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 If there's one thing I've learned, it's that few people can say no to free booze. So spend some money and throw a party, put out chips and stuff to make sandwiches, and put on the invitation "open bar" or "kegger." Link to post Share on other sites
Chris2016 Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 If there's one thing I've learned, it's that few people can say no to free booze. So spend some money and throw a party, put out chips and stuff to make sandwiches, and put on the invitation "open bar" or "kegger." OP, don't take this advice. You'll be a follower. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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