firstpick Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Back in June 2016 I became acquainted through a social media website an high school friend. We were never close in high school. Well after chatting for a few weeks, we set up a date to meet for a drink. The night before he told me, he has been living with someone for the last 5 years. I was also dating someone but not seriously. I still agreed to meet. Fast forward 9 months later, I am still seeing him. I broke off the relationship I had. But yet he still has not. He tells me that he sleeps on the couch every night, he is also still fighting with an ex whom he is divorced from over a home. I am in the legal field and have given him much support during this battle. He moved in 5 years ago with his current as a rebound, as he says. He says he has no feelings for her. But yet for someone that does not care about her, he acts like he is married. Always worrying about time restraints. Not sure how much longer I should let this go on Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Since you're in the legal field have you used those resources to run a comprehensive background analysis on him? The next question, actually one I asked myself many years ago, is do you want to be with someone who stays in an intimate/live-in relationship milieu for a long period of time even though they profess to 'feel nothing'? He'll always, forever, do what he wants to do, until he's dead. The choice is yours. I got tired after about eight years Too stubborn to admit stupidity and defeat.... Welcome to LS 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 (edited) Back in June 2016 I became acquainted through a social media website an high school friend. We were never close in high school. Well after chatting for a few weeks, we set up a date to meet for a drink. The night before he told me, he has been living with someone for the last 5 years. I was also dating someone but not seriously. I still agreed to meet. Fast forward 9 months later, I am still seeing him. I broke off the relationship I had. But yet he still has not. He tells me that he sleeps on the couch every night, he is also still fighting with an ex whom he is divorced from over a home. I am in the legal field and have given him much support during this battle. He moved in 5 years ago with his current as a rebound, as he says. He says he has no feelings for her. But yet for someone that does not care about her, he acts like he is married. Always worrying about time restraints. Not sure how much longer I should let this go on Don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever lived with someone for that long (let's say, 2 years plus)? I have twice in my life, and after 5 years, you ARE married. This is not a girlfriend. This is not a rebound. You don't live with someone for 5 years without becoming emotionally, psychologically, interpersonally intertwined with that person. There is a good reason he has "time restraints". It's because he has a partner who, simply because they are effectively married, knows exactly what he's up to each and every day. And aberrations don't go unnoticed. With both of my long-term partners, I would have had to have been quite creative to manage an affair like this man has been having with you for 9 months. Also, I don't buy it for a minute that he sleeps on the couch. They never do. He is feeding you lines from the married man's playbook for having affairs. Edited February 26, 2017 by FoundMyStrength addition 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Back in June 2016 I became acquainted through a social media website an high school friend. We were never close in high school. Well after chatting for a few weeks, we set up a date to meet for a drink. The night before he told me, he has been living with someone for the last 5 years. I was also dating someone but not seriously. I still agreed to meet. Fast forward 9 months later, I am still seeing him. I broke off the relationship I had. But yet he still has not. He tells me that he sleeps on the couch every night, he is also still fighting with an ex whom he is divorced from over a home. I am in the legal field and have given him much support during this battle. He moved in 5 years ago with his current as a rebound, as he says. He says he has no feelings for her. But yet for someone that does not care about her, he acts like he is married. Always worrying about time restraints. Not sure how much longer I should let this go on His actions are showing you that he isn't going to end his relationship with his partner. He's lying to you and omitting truths because he's selfish and wants two women to meet his needs. You broke up with your boyfriend to be with this guy and he's not done the same for you, which says something. You're knowingly helping him cheat on his partner. End it and find a great single guy who can committed only to you. If you stay, you'll be hurt and always be the OW. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 I think you've waited too long already... Sorry:( 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hunniebae Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Back in June 2016 I became acquainted through a social media website an high school friend. We were never close in high school. Well after chatting for a few weeks, we set up a date to meet for a drink. The night before he told me, he has been living with someone for the last 5 years. I was also dating someone but not seriously. I still agreed to meet. Fast forward 9 months later, I am still seeing him. I broke off the relationship I had. But yet he still has not. He tells me that he sleeps on the couch every night, he is also still fighting with an ex whom he is divorced from over a home. I am in the legal field and have given him much support during this battle. He moved in 5 years ago with his current as a rebound, as he says. He says he has no feelings for her. But yet for someone that does not care about her, he acts like he is married. Always worrying about time restraints. Not sure how much longer I should let this go on He moved in with his current gf as a rebound? Red flag!!! The night before your date he told you that he was living with someone for 5 years? Red flag!!! He sleeps on the couch, instead of leaving to get his own place? Red flag!!! he's fighting with an ex whom he is divorced from over a home? Red flag!!! He has no feelings for his gf that he's lived with for 5 years? Red flag!!! He acts like he is married, always worrying about time restraints? Red flag!!! What else do you need from him to show you that he has his own best interest at heart? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 If the relationship is basically over and he's sleeping on the couch, he should have no reason not to invite you over to meet his "roommate" and see you openly, maybe you could snuggle on the couch with him. Oh wait...what? Ya that's what I thought. If he's not willing to do this things, he's lying about the state of the relationship or at the very least---she doesn't know he feels that way because he hasn't told her. You're the mistress 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 He's not sleeping on the couch. And they're screwing quite often. Face it, you're his booty call. Time to cut the cord on this one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 What exactly does he have to offer you? When I was looking for a life partner, one thing in my mind was if he can't improve my current standard of living, then he better not bring it down. This guy would bring you down in every way possible. Ex wife baggage. Current girlfriend baggage.... Surely you don't need this kind of crap in your life do you. Forget the sleeping on the couch nonsense. If he was a he wouldn't be bothered about when he comes and goes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 You've waited 9 months? That's too long. Any waiting is too long. If you're not getting what you want now - then leave. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 He moved in 5 years ago with his current as a rebound, as he says. He says he has no feelings for her. But yet for someone that does not care about her, he acts like he is married. Always worrying about time restraints. Not sure how much longer I should let this go on End it. He's lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Hamilton Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 (edited) Let's assume he's telling the 100% truth. That would mean he's a man sleeping on the couch of a woman who he's using the lodging, resources, and finances of, yet has no feelings for... Despite sending her the opposite message. At best, that makes him a leech. At worse that makes him an unapologetic user of potential/former romantic partners. Honestly, that's almost worse than the married guy who stays to support the kids or support his wife or loves his wife but isn't "in love." He's not staying out of a forced sense of altruism. He's staying because he's too lazy to break up. For 5 years. And he admits it and uses it as his *best* excuse as to why he's there. That is, if we are to believe his side 100%. Edited February 27, 2017 by Lady Hamilton 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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