How are you coping today?

[Mario79]

I am mess of emotions everyday, I have no idea what to do at times. How can someone be able to make me feel like this?? Its at these moments I feel desperate. Why am I so weak? why cant I just accept and move on, everyone tells me so but the words dont translate to action. I just want to ask you why? and no matter what the answer is I just want you to pay me some attention. I am suffering alone. I want you gone from my head for good.

[Nubcake]

Came to realization she really is gone for good after looking at her Facebook seeing her with new bf. The usual depression and no interest in anything today wishing I was dead going on 2 months. Sitting on swing outside numb spacing out.

[Never Again]

Starting a training program for Everest.

 

My grandfather climbed halfway up - I plan on at least making it that far.

 

Twelve months of regimented dieting and exercise.

 

If nothing else, it'll be a yearlong distraction.

[GatsbyMH]

I'm feeling pretty good tonight. No stress or anxiety. Just some minor worries. Worried about my friend but she has to battle her demons herself. Some things I just can't help with beyond being an ear or a shoulder when she needs it.

[Phoe]

lousy lousy lousy.

 

NC for about 40 days now.

 

 

 

 

Still wish I could visit his FB page. Still hoping that by some miracle my phone will ring and it will be him, saying he left his girlfriend and wants to be with me.

 

 

 

 

LOL yeah right that's not gonna happen. At least I'm smart enough to know when I'm stupid.

[Mario79]

lousy lousy lousy.

 

NC for about 40 days now.

 

 

 

 

Still wish I could visit his FB page. Still hoping that by some miracle my phone will ring and it will be him, saying he left his girlfriend and wants to be with me.

 

 

 

 

LOL yeah right that's not gonna happen. At least I'm smart enough to know when I'm stupid.

 

 

We are having the same day. I am off to therapy. Which happens to be going towards that area where she lives.

[Arty54]

Having a bad day, can't stop thinking about her, day 9 of NC, always keep wondering how she maybe feeling or what she is thinking about and asking myself how she could do this or why.

Got to get a grip as I know she isn't worth my thoughts, very easy to say but harder to put into practice, especially when you loved them!

[im_thedude]

Overall I'm doing well. Earlier in the week I spotted how my ex unblocked me from FB, which kind of churned up some emotions. I think it was two days ago I was just sitting in my backyard with the dog and just broke down crying, thinking about the past.

 

Since then I've been a lot better. Guess those days are just gonna sprout up now and then. Finding peace and fun in playing guitar and video games, going for drives, and hanging out with friends. Even some flirting with a coworker excites me

[la74219]

Trying to get through this 1st day of no contact. It's been about a week since the break up. First few days I showed my weakness and cried and asked her to reconsider. Stupid me, but hey I'm human. Finally it got to the point yesterday where her last words were to leave her alone. So yeah I didn't say anything and haven't talked to her since and don't plan on it. Definitely not easy though when the person you love could somehow find it in them to tell you to leave them alone. The part that sucks is I work with her so I'll see her often. Not going to be easy.

[Isadora]

Feeling utterly rubbish. Yesterday was hard. My housemate's ex-boyfriend contacted her and wanted them to reconsider their breakup. I had to be there for her and help her through it as she is very confused at the moment.

I had to put my brave face on to cover my own emotions.

I wish that it was my ex contacting me saying he had reconsidered.

Went out to a bar for the first time since the break up. Couldn't handle it well but got a lovely pep talk from a good friend.

People keep telling me that they all thought we'd be together forever. I don't think that's helping me at all.

[Mario79]

Handling emotions can sometimes get hard, why does she still come to my head, someone so emotionally abusive. Why cant you dissapear from my head. Why cant I just be at peace. This is so confusing.

[AnyaNova]

The combo of a damned b vitamin crash from a restaurant glutening (from a restaurant that has been safe before) and seeing someone who resembled my ex with a blonde las night in the giddy stage of a new relationship.

 

Blexh! I woke up yesterday and my friend who is staying with me knew it was coming because my face was all puffy and swollen.

 

And then we has to run into that. My friend said that the guy looked to be in his early twenties, I could only see this guys backside from where I was.

 

It probably wasn't him but still. I was already low thanks to low b's.

 

And now my brain is trying to convince me that despite losing all the weight and being pretty now, that ill never find someone and that I'm destined to die alone and I should order my crazy cat lady kit straight away.

[Mario79]

The combo of a damned b vitamin crash from a restaurant glutening (from a restaurant that has been safe before) and seeing someone who resembled my ex with a blonde las night in the giddy stage of a new relationship.

 

Blexh! I woke up yesterday and my friend who is staying with me knew it was coming because my face was all puffy and swollen.

 

And then we has to run into that. My friend said that the guy looked to be in his early twenties, I could only see this guys backside from where I was.

 

It probably wasn't him but still. I was already low thanks to low b's.

 

And now my brain is trying to convince me that despite losing all the weight and being pretty now, that ill never find someone and that I'm destined to die alone and I should order my crazy cat lady kit straight away.

 

 

I like cats. I was out yesterday downtown and since i wasnt wearing my glasses I kept seeing silhouettes that looked like my ex, and to all I went up close and see if I was right, and then feeling sad cause why would it matter.

 

You have time. I have seen your posts and you have wisdom, and I thought you had a crush on someone. I think many of the people here are golden.

[Phoe]

my crazy cat lady kit straight away.

 

My boss told me the other day, that I'm gonna be one of those cat ladies when I'm older.

 

 

On one hand I felt a bit sad like "really? I'm that hopeless?"

 

 

but whatever. I love my cat. She's precious.

[GatsbyMH]

I miss her today. We rarely talk on the weekends anymore. I know she needs time to do what she needs to do and I'm being patient. I just worry that if I give her too much distance she will think I don't care or need her. She worries I won't wait for her so I know there is something there. Its just hard on the weekends. I so need a hobby....

[GatsbyMH]

My boss told me the other day, that I'm gonna be one of those cat ladies when I'm older.

 

 

On one hand I felt a bit sad like "really? I'm that hopeless?"

 

 

but whatever. I love my cat. She's precious.

 

Phoe, I very much doubt that will be your fate. You seem like such a great woman. It will get better.

 

On a side note, I miss my cat. My wife kept her when we split. :/

[sun1972]

badly, i havent slept the last two days, and im a zombie ...a complete zombie

my weight is dropping like a stone as im not eating..i just dont have an appetite

 

i cant focus on anything, i am snapping at everyone at work, i am amazed i have a job

 

i think at day 7 id be better if id gone nc from the start

[Phoe]

Phoe, I very much doubt that will be your fate. You seem like such a great woman. It will get better.

 

On a side note, I miss my cat. My wife kept her when we split. :/

 

Thank you

 

 

 

 

Sorry to hear about your furry friend. I'd be inconsolable without mine

[Kansas87]

It's been over for 2-3 weeks (officially) but we lived together so I couldn't really start NC until I found a place and moved out. That all went down yesterday which was horrible but my sister came to visit to help. Today she left, though, and now I'm stuck trying to fill up my thoughts and time without him.

 

It just sucks so bad. I love him so much still and all I want to do is let myself believe that in 3-6 months he'll come crawling back. And I KNOW, I know that I CANNOT let myself believe that. So I'm forcing myself to believe it's over, and it is so hard. Everything reminds me of him. Absolutely everything.

 

I should be here grading papers and getting ready for class tomorrow but I can't concentrate on anything. All I can do is read other people's pain on this website- it is saving me. I don't feel *quite* so alone now.

[Kansas87]

badly, i havent slept the last two days, and im a zombie ...a complete zombie

my weight is dropping like a stone as im not eating..i just dont have an appetite

 

i cant focus on anything, i am snapping at everyone at work, i am amazed i have a job

 

i think at day 7 id be better if id gone nc from the start

 

I know how you feel. I've lost about 8 pounds in the past two weeks. I get enough sleep but I never actually feel *rested*. In fact, all I really want to do is sleep. Holding down a job is more of a burden than a distraction at this point.

[radiodarcy]

And now my brain is trying to convince me that despite losing all the weight and being pretty now, that ill never find someone and that I'm destined to die alone and I should order my crazy cat lady kit straight away.

 

I recently took in two kittens; I'm now up to four cats plus a 10 year old fat basset hound. Suffice it to say my crazy cat lady kit is well underway :/

 

Oh well -- at least they're more reliable company than the ex

[firststeps]

l'm at a low point. Weekends are the worst. Even when l make plans with friends and keep occupied, its still very hard.

My STBXH and l used to spend alot of time on the weekend together. l finally made a decision to start NC. lt has been emotional hell since he walked out on me for another woman once the affair was discovered.

 

Huge set back when he came over on Wednesday, saying how he misses me and how a part of him belongs back home.

 

All lip service cause l haven't heard a peep from him since he spends his weekends at the OW's house.

 

l feel so numb and that l dont know who this person is that l spent the past 20 years together with.

 

l hate what he is done to us but a big part of me doesn't want to let go of what we shared.

[sun1972]

I know how you feel. I've lost about 8 pounds in the past two weeks. I get enough sleep but I never actually feel *rested*. In fact, all I really want to do is sleep. Holding down a job is more of a burden than a distraction at this point.

 

sorry to hear your like this too

 

too add to my 'joys' ...how to put this

 

she gets coldsores. but obviously we didnt do anything when she had one

 

im going to the doctor to confirm it, but it looks like i may have something to remember her by for ever...but not on the lips..

[GatsbyMH]

I hate waking up in the early AM. I just lay here thinking too much. I feel the best I have in a while all things considered. It almost feels like I've recovered from something traumatic. Anxiety, worrying and a bunch of tears seem quite distant now.

 

She says we were so wrapped up in our crazy romance for two years we/she ignored everything else in life. She says she still loves me and misses me. Yet I feel like we are growing distant. I feel like the emotional connection and passion we had is fading.

 

She is going through a lot of stress at home. She wants to leave him but she wants to fix him first. She says she has destroyed his sexual confidence when she said she's afraid he will never satisfy her. And since their last time together he only lasted a minute, he knows he will lose her because of it. She thinks she can fix him but I just don't see how.

 

They have two kids together. She knows if/when she leaves she won't see them as much. Which terrified her. She wants to leave him but he's tied to the kids. If she leaves him she will lose the kids too. She says she's lost and has no exit strategy. And I feel like a selfish monster because I can't walk away from her. She says this would still be happening if she and I had never met. It just would have taken longer.

 

I love this woman so much. I just fear that if she can leave him to eventually be with me, she will come to resent me for the things shes lost. She doesn't hate her husband. He just has no passion. He's more of a boy she's been training for the past six months to be the husband and father she wanted him to be but never was. Once he realized he could lose her he finally started trying.

 

My mom stayed in an unhappy marriage for over 20 years for her kids. I can see my lady staying too. Its scary.

[Raena]

I just woke up, out of the blue, at 3:30 in the morning. I immediately reached for my phone because it was blinking blue indicating that there was a message for me. I could see that there was a private message notification for facebook. I open it up to see that my ex's sister had messaged me asking me to please let my ex know that his father is trying to contact him.

 

I wrote her back and told her that he doesn't live with me anymore, he moved out to go live with his new girlfriend and that he isn't answering the phone when his son calls him either.

 

I'm feeling very low right now. I can't believe he did this to us. He promised to be a good father and that he would never leave me. Instead, he lied AGAIN and cheated AGAIN and now he's gone to go live with the girl he cheated on me with. On top of that, he has completely ignored his 6 year old son.

 

I've had to watch my poor son struggling to hold himself together. My sweet little boy is clenching his fists and trying not to cry and telling me and anyone who will listen that he is trying to be strong and be a big boy and not cry but he really misses his daddy.

 

His 7th birthday is this coming Friday. What kind of man leaves his child a week before his birthday and doesn't bother to talk to him when he calls him every night crying?

 

I don't get it.

 

This all hurts way too much but I'm starting to plateau. I'm not getting as overly emotional as I was. The anxiety of it all is starting to relent, now I'm left with just a pit in my stomach. A constant gnawing pit. I'm starting to compartmentalize the pain and see him for what he really is.