Author Riou Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 That is wonderful! And it will be a good New Year. I mean, really, how much worse can this next year be?!! Yup,it will be a great year ahead for us 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SilverlinedCloud Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Prior to breaking my long term no contact, I'm a little confused today and a little mad at myself that I needed to reach out only to be shot down. But the good thing is I got the reality check I needed And mistakes like that will need happen again. It's not fair to have your emotions played with, be asked to hang out and then be told about their intimate an casual flings which you have no claim for or reason to hear. I'm your ex for crying out loud! I know where I stand now and once I cried.. I cried for the last time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CDubs464 Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Hey. I'm about 3 weeks into no contact with my ex. If you want the whole story you can check out my thread . It is so so SOOO hard to maintain this no contact. However, I really believe... it is the right thing to do. You know why? Because it's hard, and as Tom Hanks said in A League of their Own, "Of course it's hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard, is what makes it great." There is no way to no the future and maybe when school is done, the universe will bring you guys back together. Sometimes I think that will happen for me and my ex too. In my case, I have to say, if he ever shold come back... if I was to accept him... it would mean I have done ZERO growth and development in the self esteem department. I see a therapist and she helps me tremendously. I also just started using this forum. Reach out to others in your space, to professionals who can help, and reach within... bring out the most beautiful parts of YOU and do all you can to take this time to date yourself. You'll find out that you're most likely a wonderful partner and the loss may not seem so great. I don't know... this is what I'm doing... I hope it can help you too. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Christ is Love Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 One week today since I decided to stop an 8 year relationship with a mm. I have been feeling fine each day except for today. Today has been a little sad just because of the routine that we had of talking each day. But I am able to cope by asking myself which causes me the most pain and hurt ? And I can honestly say that the pain of the breakup is less painful than than being with someone or being in a situation that isn't good for me. So each day I press forward knowing that what is in my future is much greater than what was in my past. Think about it, if the relationships we were in were good for us or good to us, then we would still be in them. So trust and believe that there is sun after the clouds and still victory after all defeat. Don't give up or give in! But keep focused and keep moving in the right direction. Serenity Prayer:God grant me the serenity to accept the THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
StringsAttached Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 I can't get our songs out of my head. It's like every day a new song we used to listen to pops in my head until I play it to death and then it's gone forever. It's as if i'm deleting her from my mind and it hurts almost as much as losing her the first time. It's like i'm mourning her death. Link to post Share on other sites
realfriends Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 36th day of NC. I feel decent. Cant wait for school to start back up so that I will be constantly busy again. I have been getting some urges to look at her social media but my heart drops just thinking about it. I know I will not. I think im going to block her number after new years and then the only way she will be able to contact me is through email. This way, when I get a text, I wont even have to wonder if its from her. I keep thinking a bit long term. I think of the next holiday which would be our 5 year anniversary in March and then her birthday a few days later. I think theres no way im going to break NC although I feel a little bit bad because I texted her mother just a simple Happy Birthday in December. I think enough time will pass where she will understand. I just feel bad a bit about blocking her number but I guess I shouldnt. She knows my email and knows she can contact me through it. I probably should do it before New Years Eve anyways as to not get my hopes up although she did text me for thanksgiving and christmas. I know that either way I feel like im probably going to have my phone off all day anyways as to not check my phone constantly that day in hopes of a holiday breadcrumb. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I am tired of this **** when he clearly has no intention of ever contacting me again. I'm setting him down forever and moving on. Somewhere is a guy that will love me as I deserve, and who will accept and not run from both the love he feels for me and my love for him. I am consciously choosing to move towards him and away from my ex! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jules78 Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I'm all f'd up today. I can't stop thinking about him and I spend too much time trying to figure out how he could go from a 2 1/2 year relationship with me to married already! I broke up with him because I could not get past him cheating on me with his ex in Oct. I broke it off on Nov 7. He met a girl that night and they are married now! I'm still trying to get over him and he's married to someone he barely knows and vice versa. WTF?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riou Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 Feeling normal today.. Gonna make 2014 a productive year. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Much better day today, thoughts came and easily went. I'll work towards making tomorrow a better one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Insanityisdoingsame Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Not good!! I just bought this beanie on ebay. Didnt pay attention and the shipping address is to her house!! I tried to change it but it was too late on ebay! Tried to message the seller like 2x now in past 10 min to send it to my house and not her address( we made ebay account together and I used to live with her). Hopefully the ebay seller responds cause I really really really dont wanna break NC cause of this ? Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Feeling more hopeful but scared of the future. I made the decision to accept that it's over and see the relationship for what it was. He was hot and cold the entire time. I'm not denying the truth of the relationship any longer. I will accept this. I was never going to be good enough for him, and it was exhausting trying to be. I know that his feelings do not reflect my worth. I'm scared to death of the future, but I'm taking it one step at a time. I know that my resistance to accept the breakup was tied to my fear of the future, of actively making my own future without him. However, I am capable of creating my own future. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
mendsley Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I feel like crap today, plain and simple. I'm beginning to realize that I am the demise of my own happiness. For some reason I start doing really well and BAM I get hit with the thoughts of her. I honestly can say that I will never get back with her, being with another man solidified that for me, but I still have this pain of missing her badly. I know there are so many women out there can provide much more than she ever will, but I guess until that happens I am stuck in the perpetual thought of shoulda, woulda, coulda scenarios. Ugh, not a good day :-( Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Rough day today. I'm still trying to figure out why I've been at the bottom of the charts for the past few weeks when for months I was number one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Still-I-Rise Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Having a rough don't feel like I can go on kind of day. Yesterday was bad and today is worse. I was filled with anger and rage earlier, wanting revenge, which would be easy to exact. But I didn't act, just kept internalizing the pain and hurt and crying too much. He left me and my children alone in this town. He hasn't called for birthdays, Christmas, nor to see how they are doing. They did not deserve this. I did not deserve this. I wish they didn't have to see me hurt like this. At times I feel powerless over this situation. But we still managed Christmas and are still in our home. We still have the car. All the utilities are on and we just got a brand new furnace. So we have heat, finally. Huh.... I just realized something while typing this. I'm mad but making it. Strange how that just happened. I hope those of you who are sad to the point of physical pain and paralysis have someone to reach out to and will begin to see a flicker of light that will pull you out of the sadness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 You are brave and strong. Keep paving a better future for you and your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
StringsAttached Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Ex texted me, I was rude at first but I eventually I told her to have a happy life full of blessings. I also said that maybe one day when i'm fully over her we can be friends but for now goodbye. The silence is deafening. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Feels like I'm going on 20 min intervals today, up and down up and down. Still strapped on this emotional roller coaster. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I feel like I need to share more. I haven't been doing well for the past week or so. I need to focus and get back to basics. I won't allow this to drain the life out if me as it has in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Still-I-Rise Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 JDPT, I hope you are able to ride the emotional roll coaster to a finish today. At some point, try to get off the ride for a little while by doing something that stops you from thinking. Not sure what that might be. Share what you need to because sometimes getting it off your chest/saying it out loud proves an emotional outlet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 JDPT, I hope you are able to ride the emotional roll coaster to a finish today. At some point, try to get off the ride for a little while by doing something that stops you from thinking. Not sure what that might be. Share what you need to because sometimes getting it off your chest/saying it out loud proves an emotional outlet. You are absolutely right, I haven't been venting, I haven't been getting all this crap out of my chest, it's not in my nature but I must push myself. I have been dealing with anger and bitterness lately, forgetting to be grateful for the many positive things I currently have in life. My family has been there since day one. They have been extremely supportive through this mayhem. I need to focus on the little things that matter. I hope you are doing ok tonight. Sometimes we just need to weather the weather. Link to post Share on other sites
Hotsauce3mk Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 My ex's sister texted me last night to see how my Christmas was. I know she was just trying to be nice but i didn't need that. I was civil and just told her I needed space. But it made me feel like crap all day today. I haven't spoken to or heard anything about my ex in over 2 months but I still can't seem to let go! I don't know how many times I'll have to consciously tell myself it's over, she doesn't want me back, and she doesn't love me anymore before i finally let it go. 2 months of NC after a 2.5 year relationship with the first girl i truly loved and I feel like I still have a lonnnnng ass journey ahead of me of coping.... Link to post Share on other sites
Still-I-Rise Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) You are absolutely right, I haven't been venting, I haven't been getting all this crap out of my chest, it's not in my nature but I must push myself. I have been dealing with anger and bitterness lately, forgetting to be grateful for the many positive things I currently have in life. My family has been there since day one. They have been extremely supportive through this mayhem. I need to focus on the little things that matter. I hope you are doing ok tonight. Sometimes we just need to weather the weather. We are similar in that I try not to put my anger out there. As if saying it makes me petty when it only means I am human. I also try to immediately balance my frustration with something positive and am not sure how helpful that is. Sometimes I need permission to just feel bad, say it and stop there. No need to put a positive spin at the end. But, it is important to be grateful. See there I go again. Surprisingly, I am better tonight, thank you. Talking/writing is helping. I hope you will begin to feel better, soon. Edited December 30, 2013 by Still-I-Rise 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 We are similar in that I try not to put my anger out there. As if saying it makes me petty when in fact it makes me human. I also try to immediately balance my frustration with something positive and I am not sure how helpful that is. Sometimes I need permission to just feel bad, say it and stop there. No need to put a positive spin at the end. But, it is important to be grateful. I managed to master suppressing my emotions specially when I'm angry. I blow up inside but never show it, just put in a smile and push forward. I never dealt with anger in a well balanced manner all I do is bury it, I don't know what a middle ground is and this is something I need to work on. So when I'm around people who show their feelings and overreact over anything that may come across to me as petty I find it extreme. I guess that's why my ex and I got "along" we never blew up, it was always "ok" I guess we were just two overly sensitive losers. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Sometimes I need permission to just feel bad, say it and stop there. No need to put a positive spin at the end. . I really enjoyed this part. Link to post Share on other sites
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