JDPT Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I've had better. Went on a date last night, had a decent time but no real spark. Came home went to bed, had a dream about how dating felt like I cheated on her. (which I never did) Woke up today feeling really sad. Imagine that.. she BUs with me and I feel like I cheated on her? That's effed up. I also had a weird dream last night. I was kissing my first love (not my ex) this sweet little thing who showed me what "love" felt like for the first time. So I as I was kissing her I called her my ex's name (the woman who I've been recuperating from for the past 9 months) and then her name. I find myself thinking about my first love lately, I'm not sure exactly what that means. I'm probably just lonesome that's all. Link to post Share on other sites
im_thedude Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Feeling much better than a week ago 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Xemyd Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I just can't do it today. I feel like screaming but I'd rather not freak people out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
love_pink Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I'm not sure how I will do today. Usually I'm fine, but he was in my dream as if we were together again and I woke up to cry. I checked my phone in hopes he would have texted me but why would he?? I miss him a lot. I wonder if he thinks of me and misses me as I do towards him. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 So far so good. Keeping a positive outlook on my current situation. Looking forward to healing from injury so I can get back to the gym. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Can't wai to get back to my town. Due to a few things I'll be leaving Sunday. I, too, need to get back to my gym, and I will create a habit wih the dawn of the new semester of going six days a week. Because I am on top of the world when I do. I am missing him a little right now, but that should dissipate after break is over and when I am back home preparing for the semester beginning in the 21st. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
margot13 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Doing ok today, at least I am not having the waves between hurt and anger, that was just exhausting. I have moments of regret though, just regret for both of us and that we could not make it work... I know he must be great, otherwise why would I have fallen in love with him. I think it is easier to hate and make him the enemy, but he isn't. He just didn't love me in the same way I loved him. Regret. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I am not coping well today. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnaAnna Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 It's been almost 4 months for me. NC has really saved me in so many ways. There are times where I still think about my ex but not the way I used to. He doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I freaked out when he send me a message the other day but i did not reply. I will be NC with him for the rest of my life. I am so happy I found this website when I did because I know I would have made a fool out of myself if it wasn't for great people I met here. Stay strong everybody. This too shall pass believe me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Hey my ex girlfriend, I hope you read this. Anyways this is for you. My life had completely changed since you dumped me. I've not contacted you for four months. I really really hate you, just thought I'd say it. I'm drunk right now but yeah I hate you so much. You totally changed from my sweet innocent Kitty. WTF happened to you. As if you've slept around already, are you that WEAK! I've been out tonight and restricted myself at all chances because GUESS WHAT I still love you. But I hate you because you pushed it too far and you're not YOU anymore. I don't miss you there is nothing to miss, you changed for the worst. I can't even believe how much you changed. **** you and **** this Paul guy too. I'm STILL reading your stupid Twitter and every thing you post makes me hate you even more. You're not my girl anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I've been feeling overwhelmingly angry today... just trying to stay busy and distracted and hoping that all of these feelings fade soon. Link to post Share on other sites
love_pink Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Woke up early again due to dreams of him again. I miss him terribly. I wish he was my last instead of my first Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Can't wait to start. I have a ton of cleaning, cooking, and organizing to do before the semester starts. I can't wait to start back at the gym tomorrow and I can't wait to get back to life and get my ex out of my brain. He's forgotten me, I want to return the favor. ASAP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 I've been feeling overwhelmingly angry today... just trying to stay busy and distracted and hoping that all of these feelings fade soon. The pain will subside, don't forget. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
im_thedude Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Between taking a couple college classes for fun this next semester, joining an adult league for hockey, crushing on several girls at once and plans on moving out and getting my career started in the next few months, I'm staying busy enough to not let this person occupy my head. She still pops up now and then, though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riou Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 Feeling good today but sometimes missing her a little. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
realfriends Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Just woke up before my alarm went off and had thoughts of her. I was thinking of the conversation I read when I found out she had the affair. How, when confronted, she said it was a one time thing, however, now thinking about the conversation, I believe there was more. I believe there would of been way more if I didn't find it out as well. Link to post Share on other sites
ayudorama Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 (edited) I now know it is possible to live without him. My heart hurts less and less. That day will come when I will be able to live up to the last words I said to him when we went our separate ways. "When our paths cross again one day, rest assured I'll be able to look at you the same way I look at all other men." People like me take the longest to 'forget'. I hate myself for being like this. It took more than a quarter of a century to let one person in, I hope it wouldn't take that same amount of time to remove every last bit of him from my heart. Leave no residue. Soon. Edited January 13, 2014 by ayudorama Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Anxiety through the roof. School started today and I feel just a bit overwhelmed with the workload already. I need to remain calm and make the best of this. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Had a dream about her. The first one since she dumped me a month and a half ago. I woke up right before we were going to start foreplay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 made it through the first weekend alone (either with her or my son). felt sadness on Saturday knowing the movers I hired were removing my things from her home. that was the final thing connecting us. woke up at 4am this morning and starting reading. thankful I was able to return to sleep. one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
johncourtz Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Not good at all. didnt sleep a wink. Today makes 3 months officially to the date. She reached out last month and i ignored her. She left me for her ex and i guess was going thru period where she missed me cause she tried to contact me for 3 days but i followed NC and didnt budge as bad as i wanted to. Now i heard she was with her ex/man at a bar we use to frequent on Saturday night. I dont know what to make of it. I wanna reach out and fight for her but i dont want anymore heartache and i felt like i was doing well until that person called me with the news that she was at the bar. I just want to go home and crawl under my bed. Link to post Share on other sites
H245 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Doing so-so today. 2 weeks since BU and 3rd day NC. I wish I could say I will be doing better down the road, but she owes me a lot of money so I eventually need to reach out to ask when she plans to pay me back. Doesn't help that I will be seeing her at group events starting next month. We have a lot of mutual friends birthdays coming up. Link to post Share on other sites
im_thedude Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Spending my next two days off playing nerdy strategy games, lounging on the beach, and getting some quality reading done Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Not good at all. didnt sleep a wink. Today makes 3 months officially to the date. She reached out last month and i ignored her. She left me for her ex and i guess was going thru period where she missed me cause she tried to contact me for 3 days but i followed NC and didnt budge as bad as i wanted to. Now i heard she was with her ex/man at a bar we use to frequent on Saturday night. I dont know what to make of it. I wanna reach out and fight for her but i dont want anymore heartache and i felt like i was doing well until that person called me with the news that she was at the bar. I just want to go home and crawl under my bed. stay strong brother! she was just lonely when she reached out. she proved it by going back with the ex (twice...or is it three times). you deserve someone who knows without a shadow of a doubt they do not want to be without you in the life. NC Ninja 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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