Hoosfoos Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Not coping. Used a sick day at work. Seeing the doctor today. Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Not doing so well today Feeling very hurt, angry, disappointed in myself. I feel like I'm my own worst enemy, and I'm having trouble bouncing back from my own punches. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 A bit better today. Thanks for asking. Going to a braai tonight, it's a planning session for a 5 day hike we're doing in a months time. There will be twelve of us in total: 5 guys and seven girls, three of whom are single. Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I don't think about her anymore. Any time she enters my thoughts I immediately think about other women instead and its been working great since I started this approach in the new year. I think a part of me held on to something for too long but I promised myself I was gonna change in 2014 and I have......I'm quite proud of myself because the strength I have found has made me happy and I have a genuine desire to find new romance in my life. Good luck to everyone here....all I can say is that if it's really over with your ex's the same way it's over for me with mine then its time for you to start focusing your energies on new things(new love) in your life and leave the past behind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 @L1ght: just been reading your past threads. You have had a hard time. Pleased to hear you are in a better place now. Respect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 feeling rested this morning. I slept well last night. best I have slept since the BU. actually had thoughts of a woman this morning I saw while at lunch yesterday. almost went over and talked to her. it is nice to have other things on my mind. looking forward to time with my son this weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dutchdoor65 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Horrible. New to the forum, but definitely not new to the hurt of a BU. I never thought I would be here...again. But hey, here I am. The BU was officially last Monday, and there was contact until yesterday. Yesterday, I decided to go full blown NC. Almost 7 years, poof! Gone. It ended in an absolute horrid way, too. At my age (48), this is not easy. It's not like there is a bevy of men out there waiting to bang on my door. The ex already has his new love living in the place I just left 10 DAYS AGO. Hooked up, latched up, already in love, he is. What a horrible way to start the new year... Link to post Share on other sites
Xemyd Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Still messed up from last night. I finally gave in and talked to my friend about it. She always thought I was fine, but I admitted I'm just good at faking it. Taking the day off from class to get my head back on straight. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I've been hitting bumps agin last two days. I think about her alot and miss her like crazy. I'm in constant need to rationalize she decided to break instead of trying to work it out - a relationship was not as valuable to her as it was to me. It feels a bit better for couple of hrs, but I keep on missing her nevertheless. Regardless I won't move a muscle to contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Coping is moving along today, not too bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Hoaks Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Here I am again, and 5 or 6 month ago I didn't think I could feel like this with anyone else. So yesterday it finally came to a official end, after 3 weeks of working my ass off and throwing everything I had into the relationship. I found that she was still chatting with this guy after she told me she called him the night before and told him to go away. I was done then, finally beaten, no energy left for it. Her friends tell me that I don't want to hear this but "give it time". While she is sleeping with someone else? No thanks, no trust no chance. And today I have woken feeling so sick and missing her already. I'm struggling to finally remove her from FB. I know there has to be contact because she has my spare phone and a portable air conditioner of mine there. The she used in her room to sleep with him I actually made him more comfortable in her bed . So feel sick, lost, empty, hurt, betrayed. If only I had of walked away 3 weeks ago when she tried to breakup, I wouldn't be knowing about another guy. But she would not just let mo go completely Link to post Share on other sites
Chris715 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Been a rough couple of days for me. I am doing some classes in school this semester which I didn't think I would be doing, so that's good. My ex is probably gone now, out of state back to her school since both of our semesters will be starting next week. On one hand that's a very good thing because it puts an end to the constant anxiety and sometimes moments of panic I've experienced over the last month when I would think I would see her in public. On the other hand it probably means she's back with her wonderful new boyfriend at her school (if they're even still together) and I know it makes me selfish but I don't want her to be happy and I don't wish her the best. Can't meet anyone new and I can't stop thinking about her and being angry at her. Those two things have been my biggest problems as of late. Don't really see an end in sight to either of them. Link to post Share on other sites
hopti Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 three months since our five years together ended. Three months since he got with his new gf. Yesterday was great. I didn't do anything special, just daily routines. But I finally got a glimpse of whats on the other side if I just keep on working on myself. I was alone and I felt good about it. Yesterday I was my best friend and enjoyed my own company. Realized that the good stuff I miss ended a long time ago. He changed and simply wasn't the one for me anymore. Yesterday I felt more content than I have in a long, long time. Not only post BU but during the relationship as well. I came closer than ever to accept that we have taken different paths in life. Never thought I would get this far. Today was not that great. Was really tempted to look at his fb-profile. I didn't. I resisted and I am proud of that. If I would've done it I would just hurt myself and sacrifice the chance of having a wonderful day like yesterday any time soon. No, yesterday was mine. And soon all my days will be mine. Just some more ups and downs to go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Xemyd Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Over thinking as usual. I wish I could just shut off my brain for an hour. I wish I understood my BU, I wish he had been honest with me. I would rather he told me straight that he didn't want to be with me anymore. It has to be the case, that he didn't want me. You don't just throw away a great relationship for something so small, at least in my mind. Being a hopeless romantic sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Most of the day fantastically. My personal trainer seems out to kill me, , but I know it is in my best interest. But then the movie hanging out with friends that brought back my friend's murder nearly a year ago. Deanna, the world lost an amazing voice of wisdom and reason when you died. If you ever wondered how much you mattered in life, know this! Every single one of your friends, all of us, we still struggle with it and all of us grieve the contribution that you made to the world in the hundred thousand times you pointed out the things we missed in a situation that made it bearable, in the many times your quiet words of perspective fanned the flames of peace where discord might have ruled, and your amazing capacity to listen deeply that so many of us hoped to learn from you. And the world lost an amazing voice. Your singing was beautiful. Anyway, I'm coping tonight. Remembering. Wishing again that I had known that this was going to happen so that I could have paid special attention to every moment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Sobbed uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. Too much stress in life. Probably not a good idea to talk so much about my ex in that thread. Definitely was not a good idea to look through the pictures of us. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Sobbed uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. Too much stress in life. Probably not a good idea to talk so much about my ex in that thread. Definitely was not a good idea to look through the pictures of us. Power through these moments and be confident in knowing that the pain will subside. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Power through these moments and be confident in knowing that the pain will subside. Thank you. I actually feel better now that I got it out of my system. I think I need to somehow convince myself that's she's dead so I won't think about her anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Thank you. I actually feel better now that I got it out of my system. I think I need to somehow convince myself that's she's dead so I won't think about her anymore. I used to make myself think that the 4.5 years I spent with my ex was nothing more than nightmare. And that I have now woken up to reality. I forced myself to believe she never existed. However, to this day (8 months) post BU continue to learn about myself and proactively contribute towards my recovery. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 there was an incident that happened earlier in the week with my ex. I won't go into details, but I'm so disgusted in him. He makes me sick to my stomach. I didn't tell him any of this, instead I politely told him that I didn't have any interest in being friends and I didn't think that would ever work out. He responded that he was sorry to hear it because he had enjoyed reconnecting. I never responded. He's such a deceptive person. He tells lies upon lies and then doesn't understand why people cut him out of their life. I was hurt for a day but recovered quickly. Right now I'm doing alright, but I'm still a little bit sad. I feel like a fool. He advertised himself as a certain kind of person, again and again and again to me... and then he turned out to be the exact thing he swore to me he wasn't. I'm angry with him, but I guess I'm more angry with myself. I don't know how to trust again, and I'm definitely scared that I'll never experience love again. I know it sounds cliche, but it's been a year and I haven't felt any kind if spark for anyone. It's sad, but true... Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 @L1ght: just been reading your past threads. You have had a hard time. Pleased to hear you are in a better place now. Respect. The pain I felt came from within. It's my own fault that I lost control and if I had kept my emotions in check during the hard times I could have made everything so much different......buts that's life, it is what it is and its time to turn the page. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
margot13 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Really really bad day... Started by going to the gym to work out frustrations of thinking about my ex, didn't work. Went to work and locked myself in my design studion to try to stop thinking about my ex, didn't work. Went to visit a friend to stop thinking about my ex, didn't work. Went home sat on the couch and cried!!! It is nearly two months since we broke up, when does it stop? Link to post Share on other sites
Xemyd Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Not coping. Why can't I accept that he doesn't want me? He ended it, he walked away without even trying, he hasn't tried contacting me, it's obvious he doesn't want me but I can't accept it. I want to call him, I know I shouldn't but I just want to hear it from him, tell me there's no chance for us. I just want to stop hoping. Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I am just so over feeling like this I honestly don't know how much longer I can deal with these agonizing lows... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I miss her Link to post Share on other sites
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