scooby-philly Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 2 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: More often than not we never get the closure we're looking for but I can relate as most people can. But let his actions speak for themselves. But my suggestion is to write a letter or even a text and tell him word for word how you feel but just don't send it. Say whatever you want. Get it off your chest. It won't make it go away but it may lessen it a bit because it may serve as some form of closure to you. Yes - writing - even if you're not a good writer - or maybe recording audio files and emailing yourself - can help tremendously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Just now, scooby-philly said: Yes - writing - even if you're not a good writer - or maybe recording audio files and emailing yourself - can help tremendously. It helped me out quite a bit a few years ago. Not total closure but it was more than enough for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
homecoming Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 41 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: More often than not we never get the closure we're looking for but I can relate as most people can. But let his actions speak for themselves. But my suggestion is to write a letter or even a text and tell him word for word how you feel but just don't send it. Say whatever you want. Get it off your chest. It won't make it go away but it may lessen it a bit because it may serve as some form of closure to you. Thank you. I do this often, by writing little notes on my phone, journalling, etc. It helps, even if it's only a little bit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 18 minutes ago, homecoming said: Thank you. I do this often, by writing little notes on my phone, journalling, etc. It helps, even if it's only a little bit. You’re welcome. And trying anything is better than nothing. I hope everything turns out OK for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 4 hours ago, The Outlaw said: It helped me out quite a bit a few years ago. Not total closure but it was more than enough for me. Yeah. I need to get back to it as tbh..outside of the loneliness my life is good and I dont care to give in and feel unhappy just because I'm occasionally lonely 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 (edited) I want to be able to support myself financially and rent in the country. And have a safe place for my fur son. Away from things (aka people. They don't deserve to be called people, or even beasts as that is similar to animals and that's an insult to the animals). Edited May 30, 2020 by MeadowFlower Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 I'm doing better and I'm moving on. I tried a theroist today but I was not happy so I'm going to connect with another one. I hate doing therapy because it feels like it gives him the impression I want to reconnect but I wanted to close it in February. It was so invasive. I used to get so mad at everyone involved because I knew I would get to a good place but they weren't giving me that opportunity. Now I'll get there on my own and just ignore everyone. No one eve asked me what I even wanted yet the came into my life for advice. People who know nothing about me! I get angry but I know that in time, after the virus, I'm defining annoyed at others who played. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 Not having a good time Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I'm definitely coping. I feel like I've been called selfish and names too much as if I have the biggest ego and it needed to be deflated by random people all over the internet but I don't really have an ego. I'm not ego driven at all. I legit had an obsession with this man and the man told me to change and I couldn't just change so I sat there torturing myself for a little longer then I should have. It happens all the fng time! Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Things have been awesome......like a really long vacay but that is ending and the work begins so it's time to prepare mentally and physically. LS has been interesting to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, simpycurious said: Things have been awesome......like a really long vacay but that is ending and the work begins so it's time to prepare mentally and physically. LS has been interesting to say the least. Plz don’t be mad at me!!! I noticed your 😡 I do think you have lots of options but the second part of my post I was just teasing the other guys, simpy! Not you. You are my good friend and very kind to everyone here. I hope you do not think I was making fun. Glad things have been awesome for you 👏 I’ve been doing a lot better too Edited May 31, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 ^^^Never mad at you.....it was probably not a great post by me. I am so glad you are doing well that's the best news of the day for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ekaj Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 1 month no contact. Was getting better then this weekend felt really s***. Really depressed this morning. Dunno why, haven’t looked at social media or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Let's grasp on to those short moments of happiness that sometimes occur during our day, and soak in the feeling, and memorise the moment. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 (edited) I'm not coping well today. I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling but it's so bad that I may take a small leave from work. A week just to get myself through. I thought I had someone to talk to and hang out with through the irid but I did not. I feel washed up. I feel rejected. I feel used and conned. I feel horrible. I feel like I'm never ever going to be happy again. I'd give anything to be 30 again and make different choices but the obsession took over me .. he was there so I didnt leave. The worst part is he was with someone else and never had any intentions on allowing me any sort if peace if mind. I ain't feel ready to date. I feel lonely. I feel every nerve in my body. I left work but I couldn't move once I got outside and end io standing around until 6 before getting on the bus. How am I going to get out of this mess. Hiw am I going to move forward and find someone else. Why cant I do this on my own. I bought a book called emotional intelligence. 25 ways to improve people skills. I feel a mess. I am not coping at all. Edited June 2, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 I didnt think I'd be able to go to work today but I am and I'll be alright. I called him and he did not answer so u left him a voice mail and just explained to him that at 46 he should not be feeding an obsession for so many years and that there is nothing funny about it. There was nothing funny about what was done to me. He is explaining all of this to me but in february he had his friend say move on, let go, you need to close this yourself. Today he is telling me there was something there. Something there doesn't leave me where I was for 7 years. He now doesnt like my job and thinks I'm lazy but I have a job in a pandemic. I am fortunate enough to have a decent living right ow through this and to be able to provide for my family. I am also going to have to try ti rebuild a life and let go of thoughts that have haunted me for 7 years .. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 By the way this is what happens when I dont edit. I'm the queen alright .. queen of typos. Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 Today is one of those days, I assassinate my own character. I wish I didn’t. I was on a roll for a while. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 (edited) Yea it's not funny at all. I understand why I did it but it did not work. I'm constantly battling myself to think about anything other then him. I really should have handled myself a lot differently and I should have treated him far better and like he deserved and I should have just went after him .. I am such an idiot Edited June 2, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 I should have fought for him but I did not .. I'm so stupid because now I'm miserable and I'm affected by this at work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 Besides a spinning head, I feel OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 So lonely... ;_; 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 (edited) Im going into work an hour and a half early so I stay ok track today and finish the floor tomorrow. I am easily distracted. Edited June 3, 2020 by Realitysux 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I'm moving on. I was at work today without my phone and I felt awful. I used to feel this feeling that as initially what I felt when I knew this person. That was a long time ago and I am not the same person at all. I actually hate myself and I want to love myself again. Right now I am comparing myself to the type of women I assume he is with. I'm working on changing my view to what would make me a good catch and what would make me friends and what connections can I have so that I dont desire a dead one. I hope he allows me the opportunity to move on from this. It will take time but I will move on completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 (edited) This is so bad. I'm not saying this isnt going to change but I have to work at it. I read so much of his stuff that now all I want to do is go back to where he lives and be that women but I am not that women and I can not be. I never really moved forward cause I just wanted to go back and the he fed me all of this and I stayed and read. I knew the damage this was going to cause. I knew it. At the end if the day he is with someone else and I have to let it go and accept it. I did accept it. All he did was encourage this obsession .. I hate everything about my life and need to make some serious changes but I was forced to this place. Edited June 3, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts