Realitysux Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 On 6/26/2020 at 5:57 PM, scooby-philly said: I'm good. Funny - you quoted me from 2 months ago - and here I am the day before I turn 39 and I want to take a bath and cry - and will later. But it's okay. Tears are good. And yeah - I learned first with friends, then with family, and hopefully, finally, with relationships - that if people show you that you don't matter as much to them as other things, other people, and if they only include you when it's convenient, they want something, or they have no one else at the moment - that's not a sign of affection, care, or love. So - while I still get lonely some times (especially at night before bed)....I'm doing okay. It's just doing the work of helping my inner child finally let go of somethings and really actively using positive self-talk to heal and move myself forward. Though, in many regards, I'm very lucky and also very blessed. So - while it's okay to feel down and I accept my feelings, I also have been working on helping the "little dude" inside of me move forward. And thanks to many friends on here! Thanks for checking in! I hope you feel better and sending hugs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 I've been avoiding gun stores since all the panicky first time buyers are swamping NICS, but I spotted a hard to find part I really sort of need. Well, could really put to use, not need. So I pulled the trigger, figuratively speaking, and went in for a background check earlier today. The "instant" system is so swamped now that the clerk is seeing 7-10 day waits. For comparison, about this time last year it was around 7-10 minutes. I'm not sure how I feel about all these first time owners plunging into a decision like this, I hope they are well trained or committed to becoming well trained, but I really doubt it. I'd hate to see a surge in accidents in the near future. Maybe I'm just peeved that I have to make another drive across town in a week or so. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 1 hour ago, sothereiwas said: I've been avoiding gun stores since all the panicky first time buyers are swamping NICS, but I spotted a hard to find part I really sort of need. Well, could really put to use, not need. So I pulled the trigger, figuratively speaking, and went in for a background check earlier today. The "instant" system is so swamped now that the clerk is seeing 7-10 day waits. For comparison, about this time last year it was around 7-10 minutes. I'm not sure how I feel about all these first time owners plunging into a decision like this, I hope they are well trained or committed to becoming well trained, but I really doubt it. I'd hate to see a surge in accidents in the near future. Maybe I'm just peeved that I have to make another drive across town in a week or so. Guns can be heavy to shoot and you need practice to aim. Do they train you before they hand you a gun? Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 We'll see if I'm wasting my time or not.... Ugh... This is probably on its way out already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 12 hours ago, sothereiwas said: I've been avoiding gun stores since all the panicky first time buyers are swamping NICS, but I spotted a hard to find part I really sort of need. Well, could really put to use, not need. So I pulled the trigger, figuratively speaking, and went in for a background check earlier today. The "instant" system is so swamped now that I'm not sure how I feel about all these first time owners plunging into a decision like this, I hope they are well trained or committed to becoming well trained, but I really doubt it. Quoted by mistake Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 (edited) A 46 year old man with options played on my emotions for 7 years. Hacked my past and life and played mind games for so long. I spent a few years kind of depressed and sad about it with no interest in other men. I was stuck in my head and couldn't even stand in the shower so I had to take baths. I was already feeling humiliated and when you like someone, you don't want them to see that but he did and refused to leave me alone using it all as reasons not to be with me. I got out of my head and I got my s*** together. I feel normal and content and hopeful again. The guy writes about how right our connection felt but it's a little to late on my end. He spent 7 years telling me to move on. I sat here alone feeling cornered and trapped and humiliated. I lost all motivation to go find someone else and tried to move on. The fact he would abuse me when I was already suffering shows me what a cold hearted *** he is. The lowest men on the planet, are men who bring out your feelings for them with no intent on acting. He left me for years not knowing. It didn't last days or months, we're talking years. This guys low. Edited June 28, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 6/27/2020 at 6:19 PM, Realitysux said: I hope you feel better and sending hugs I am feeling better. The loneliness and the depression still come once in a while, but that's life. And I'm okay with that. Sending hugs back at you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 23 minutes ago, scooby-philly said: I am feeling better. The loneliness and the depression still come once in a while, but that's life. And I'm okay with that. Sending hugs back at you. I felt genuine lonlines yesterday for the first time. I hired a cleaner and got all my stuff done so I actually could have went out but didn't have that connection to go out with. I'm looking but you can't really force it, you just have to see when it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio12 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Livid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 I am okay. I'm networking and I'm learning you can not win them all. I've met friends to go out and do things with but none that I want to date. I did like one guy but he turned out to be married. I also found out that I do want to be a mason and I'm sticking to my plan but I need to be around a more mature crew. I had an issue working with the younger guys because i am 37. I can't relate to men who are that much younger then I am. I am still keeping my plan but I don't want to feel bad about starting a new trade at 37, so I'm hunting for a more mature crew to be on. The boss is 27!! I'm a decade older then these men and I feel horrible at the end of the day. I feel too old. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 As far as the guy goes, I don't want to even think about him anymore. I'm learning you win some and loose some. He had no right to do what he did since I asked for no contact. To be abused by him and all his friends because I'm single reflects his view, not mine. I'm less lonley now that I am putting myself out there and if I can only meet someone single like Mario! Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 (edited) Great! The guy called me a covert marcassit, has told me repeatedly to move on but now my feelings are at its peak and I want this person back. I keep hoping he's gonna show up at my door step and is this my fault? Edited July 2, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio12 Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 Slow on the board today. 🤔 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Yes ur still around , in head , heart , you know that, you'll feel it. lt'd probably be different if she was here. Not because of loneliness or need, but because she'd overtake you and us , we would overtake you and us because her heart is real and true , and what she wants is real and true and she believes in building that between heart and soul , love. You and your ways, yaknow, how could you ever expect to build even close. On offs ups downs hots colds stupid things and all a fkg round you go , wtf is that bullshyt. Htf do you expect to have real , build real, acting like effg Cybil , it's bullshyt darlin , crazy effg bs. Yaknow , you could really learn a thing or two from her, stuff, depth and soul you couldn't even fathom in one sense , yet in the other you have more of all that in one hand than anyone on this planet , but yet you deny yourself of it and your relationship. Or, was all that bs just sabotage because of our sitch, like a little girl trapped and swinging wildly to get out in a subconscious panic. l feel sad for you because l know what you can be and who you really are inside , l saw your true soul many times, But T , many times and between all the other bs just isn't good , you'll just get what you always got. Or maybe it really isn't your fault , maybe you really are bpd , or maybe it's just your beautiful hot blooded self reacting to our sitch the only way you know , that one l'll never have the answer to now. Was it like that before , with ex , or ex ? Well according to you no , we were just fkd , but l dunno about that one l see things you know that and l see things in your stories about him or him and patterns there too. And l'm only getting your side to whatever they were but your ex , doing what he did , that tells me or seems to anyway that the you l see is the same one they saw too, sorry but it does look that way. So even without our sitch and everything all just dandy , l've always suspected l'd still see the same buttttt, wish l do knew for sure . Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Feeling much better since I talked to the guys today on the way to work. 80 percent of people suffer with mental health so there are something's you just don't say to another human being. You don't dis someone's appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 I'm at work learning a new trade. I brought the guys fraps from Starbucks but I don't feel any better or different. If anything at this point, I feel worse. Now this has ended five months after real people told me to let go and move on to find someone else. The guys with someone else who clearly everyone sees as better then I am and I'm left alone in the dark with this finished. I still live in the city with people who played. I could have moved on 7 years ago and not felt this bad. I have to power through at work and try my best to move forward which I was going to do when I found the right job anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 (edited) I am doing better so thanks for asking. I checked the phone number he set up for me and this morning it was disconnected but now it's working again. It makes me nervous because if how many people are involved. I must have given the impression I wanted this. I don't. I want privacy again. I gather when he had people tell me to move on it meant I was suppose to move on. I have a good job now and i am doing well. I'm meeting people and building relationships with them. I was a little nervous around my boss on the first day on this site but it's normal. I'm going to come in Monday really confident since I do know what I'm doing. Edited July 3, 2020 by Realitysux 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio12 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Somewhat better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 3 hours ago, Anonymous1 said: Somewhat better. Me too! Been a strange week. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 (edited) In terms of "how I'm coping", I've never been particularly sensitive to recoil in any firearm I've used - it just never bothers me. Edited July 4, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 Who needs to go through the crappiness of dating when you can have happy food. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Disappointed Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 It's better to have no guy in your life than to have guys come and go. It's better to just live your own life, quiet and reclusive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 (edited) Yep, exactly what l did. Still managed to stumble over her though which is what can happen when you just relax rather than chase it like so many seem too , wearing themselves out. Sometimes in life you've just gotta be still. Edited July 6, 2020 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 (edited) Buttttt, and now for the downside. She's been trapped with appointments up in her state 5wks this time, but now we're going back into lock down and she can't get back. We can hack that that's not a problem , not good but it is what it is , the world is , right now. The problem is l have unsettled closure on that ex , and all this time is kind of sending thoughts into a spin so hence l've needed to come in here and scribble a little. And hopefully that's better than me doing something stupid right now , right. Edited July 6, 2020 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
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