How are you coping today?

[Realitysux]

I'm going to stop ranting and just give some feedback on other threads. I logged onto a couple dating sites and in my experience, you don't find them online. It's nice to talk to people during the virus but I'm not that desperate. I'm finding it too exhausting because once you finish one conversation and it didn't work out, then you're like "I have to do that all over again". I don't think I'm going to be upset if I end up alone for a few more months as long as I can keep my mental health in check! Very difficult work life right now and I need some encouragement because I have to pay my dues. It'll be worth it and I'll do it but my summer will be a challenge because this is a s***ty and sexist industry and I just showed up in it one month ago! Fortunately, I move quickly and I just don't have the desire to be with this company longer then one season. I'll make a move in September .. it's the best choice and by then, the gyms might be open! Or the malls cause I can afford to by new clothes by then and I will be doing that too.

[The Outlaw]

Absolutely irritated. Work is hell. And I'm burned out. I'd love to get away but that won't happen anytime soon. Yuck. 

[Realitysux]

My posts are a little self centered. I have been very selfish lately but I met this man at work named Angelo who helped me a bit. He gave me a little bit of guidance so I'm going to try and limit the amount I talk about myself online like this. I just wanted to vent and my intensions were harmless but I do sound very self centred. I have to work on myself. In many ways I'm a child having a tantrum because I didn't get what I wanted. I sank pretty low and can't remember a time I've even had an opportunity to act my age in a difficult situation but I did act immature. The lack of sleep is catching up to me. I have to go to work and I'm so tired but it's Friday and it has been a difficult work week. I need some gear for work to so I don't get injured. My knee is in a little bit of pain today and I figured I could really beat the crap out of my body if I don't get some more ppe (knee pads). That's what I'm going to do this weekend! Just lay low and start over in my life. Put the old behind me and on with this new!

On with the new and PPE

Edited April 24, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

I realize that I have a ton of hobbies out side of the house. I'm lucky enough to work and build a future for after this but it's a little dragging. I miss friendships and I want to build them. There is so much I want to do when this is all over. 

[Realitysux]

I'm actually okay now. Life is promising again. I'm looking forward to it and i am realizing that I can pick and choose who I want to be in my life. If I'm not feeling it then I just don't to it. I am grateful for my skills and abilities that brought me to this point and are going to take me further. I know my worth now 💪.. oh yea, no more discounts from me! Tah, no

Edited April 25, 2020 by Realitysux

[scooby-philly]

8 months came and past Wednesday. Don't miss anything except having that best friend. But I'm relying on myself, turning to my friends (and virtual ones) as needed. Finally getting my garden going today! Just hope I can find a dating app/platform in the next few months that's actually decent as well as once the pandemic hits getting out there and meeting people. Thanks to all my friends on here. On a side note - feeling blessed as the pandemic is helping me bank A TON of money. Looking forward to buying a home later this year or early next year.

[preraph]

Scooby-philly, sounds like you are on an upward swing.  Glad to hear it.  Maybe you'll meet someone while getting gardening supplies.  Be sure you are on Nextdoor, the neighborhood app, because the potential to meet people in your neighborhood is really good, especially if you are giving away tomatoes or herbs!!!

[Beachead]

@scooby-philly

You're doing awesome man and you're going to be just fine.  

- Beach

[Realitysux]

Feel a little bit ganged up on and exhausted but it's back to square one and I wanted to move on. Now I don't want to write about it on here so I'm going to talk about work! I have been arguing on the phone and distracted at work. My boss came to see me on Friday and called a meeting. During the meeting he basically made me a core employee and gave me a helper. They don't even notice that I do this at work. I don't feel good about it either! I'm trying to resolve it so I can focus on Monday but no such luck. 

[scooby-philly]

10 hours ago, preraph said:

Scooby-philly, sounds like you are on an upward swing.  Glad to hear it.  Maybe you'll meet someone while getting gardening supplies.  Be sure you are on Nextdoor, the neighborhood app, because the potential to meet people in your neighborhood is really good, especially if you are giving away tomatoes or herbs!!!

 

10 hours ago, Beachead said:

@scooby-philly

You're doing awesome man and you're going to be just fine.  

- Beach

Thanks guys! Been quite the journey, but the results, I hope, will be worth it in the end. Didn't meet anyone at Home Depot today, lol. But that's okay. I know if I keep trying, especially when we can get "back to normal"...whatever happens, I'll be okay with the results because I will give it my best.

[Realitysux]

I need a break from dating and "love". 6 months would be ideal and benefit me personally. I have a lot going for me. I'm going to be ordering books off Amazon and trying to straighten my head out and focus on the tasks ahead of me. I don't know why I'm so distracted by this, I really don't care if this guy approves of me  We both end up in a place where we got what we wanted so it shouldn't be a problem moving forward. I think the extent of this and how invasive and addicting it was. You should see me, I look great doing it (sarcasm) oh yea I am ready for the next one not!

Edited April 26, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

I love this forum! I love you coping forum. 

So if you don't like me then leave. If you don't approve of me then leave. Don't stay around to prolong or stroke the pain or rehash any old wounds. I was online! Like everyone else, I was passing some time. I was not in your space. I was not interrupting your dating life or evenings alone with the lady. I was at home doing my own thing and everyone who knew me, knew nothing of you until lately when it became too much for me. Do yourself a favor, look in the mirror and tell yourself "I had no right to hack her". And the next time you don't like someone, leave them alone! 

Edited April 26, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

It will take some time to get out of the rabbit hole and I'll feel a lot of different emotions but it will pass and I'll get to where I need to be. I can put this behind me. I think the worst thing you can do for someone is hold on to them. I realized the best thing you can do for another person is let them go. I will never hold on to anyone again. Never! I'll set them all free because let me tell you, 7 years, that's some serious Karma. I don't want to even be wished well or rooted for. I don't need it.

Edited April 26, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

I lied. I really liked the guy and I missed him. I kept hearing everyone say move on, let go, so obviously I was never going to admit that to anyone. He also misunderstood me as an individual and continues to write about it. He needs to sit and have an honest conversation with me before he begins to give me any further advice. The reason why I still like him after 7 years is because the guy is so hot. There is obviously more to the guy but I guarantee you this guys still doable at 50. At my age you want someone that ages well. The guy is probably the sexiest 46 year old man on this planet and I am missing it 😥 

Now if I'm suppose to move on then let me. 

Edited April 27, 2020 by Realitysux

[MeadowFlower]

Feeling a bit worried kinda. 

[Cornholio12]

Far better now and more relaxed. Focused. I'm trying to shrug a few things off. A for effort. 

[The Outlaw]

Don't feel too good at all. I just feel half dead from the lack of sleep and it just seems like it's sometimes getting worse. 

[Realitysux]

I can not play poor me. I have to accept it but I turned into a looser and I feel really bad about myself. I have no social skills. I've been obsessed online. I have few friends. I'm skilled at this type of work and that's what keeps me going but I need help. I am in really rough shape today because this guy set up a fake phone and teased me with it. I end up harassing it since Thursday and all morning while at work! Then this guy walked in and saw me glued to my phone so I told him about it. After we talked, I got off the phone and worked. I'm acting like a child and I'm 37. It's pathetic! I can't date because my behavior i need to change first. I don't know what to do since I don't have anyone to talk to. Maybe log on and find some online therapy and get some help? I can afford it but i can't go on like this. I didn't have the strength to block them but I did offer to send them 100 dollars and buy them and their girlfriends lunch. I apologized and then left it! There is something seriously wrong with me. 

Edited April 29, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

I feel much better tbh. Today started off horrible. I woke up 5 minutes before I had to leave for work. I was still in the same clothes I wore yesterday and still wearing all the dirt from work too. I came to work and a guy was angry with me. I was too busy on my phone, I wasn't paying attention. I also didn't want then to think I was slow so I cheated and I got caught. I spent an hour being lectured and yelled at about how my head isn't in the game and I need to do this. He kept finding things and saying the f word. I admitted to it, I took full responsibility and apologized and fixed it. At about 2pm he came and asked me if I wanted to go smoke with him and we have been doing great together since. 

 

Earlier in the day, I text my boss and when he couldn't get a hold of me, he came to see me on site. We cleared it up, he offered me his support, offered me time off, and said if I ever needed to talk I could anytime. 

I put my phone down and I worked my way to a solid place here. When it comes down to it, I always come through. That is why I'm going to continue to work.

My new friend at work also gave me a place to go walk this weekend and I will. I'm going to take photos to show him I went then I'll show him my good work on Monday and we're back in business

Edited May 1, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

This guy who I asked for advice from and gave it to me at work helped me twice today. He always says hi! I think I flattered him by asking for advice. People feel empowered giving advice. 

[Realitysux]

I've been reading a lot of posts on this forum during the virus and I appreciate all the advice and insight. It's definitely an eye opener. I found relief and I now realize that I need to get mentally well. I'm going to take care of myself now and start to build things in my life again. I'm putting a previous situation behind me now. I'm even going to start dating after the virus is over and connecting with locals. 

I wasn't facing a situation and I was going a little nuts over it but I really feel like we're in a good place now. 

 

Thanks everyone 😊

[The Outlaw]

Lost at the moment. That's how I'm coping. Oh, yes. And kind of overworked with the pandemic. 

[scooby-philly]

2 hours ago, The Outlaw said:

Lost at the moment. That's how I'm coping. Oh, yes. And kind of overworked with the pandemic. 

Feeling "Lost" sometimes  can prove a very fortuitous thing. It tells you that something happened and that you find yourself in a place you do not want to be at the moment. If you can dive into the feeling and figure out "why" you feel lost, you can start to understand where that feeling comes from and if given enough self-reflection, a "solution" may present itself. A lot easier said than done, I totally admit. But...a sense of "where the hell am I" - can help you understand choices in your career, relationships, friendships, life choices, etc. Just got to fight yourself and uncover the "why".

[The Outlaw]

Just now, scooby-philly said:

Feeling "Lost" sometimes  can prove a very fortuitous thing. It tells you that something happened and that you find yourself in a place you do not want to be at the moment. If you can dive into the feeling and figure out "why" you feel lost, you can start to understand where that feeling comes from and if given enough self-reflection, a "solution" may present itself. A lot easier said than done, I totally admit. But...a sense of "where the hell am I" - can help you understand choices in your career, relationships, friendships, life choices, etc. Just got to fight yourself and uncover the "why".

I'll live to fight another day and see myself through. Always have no matter the circumstances of why I feel lost or anything. It's just one of those days and it may get worse before it gets better. 

[scooby-philly]

I feel....? Maybe that's it - I feel! The past 8+ months since my last relationship ended, especially the first 6.5, were a tough road. Lots of shame, lots of up and downs. Lots of depression. Tried to use the time as best as I could, but also did not try to run from the pain, did not rush "getting back out there" or rush through some fake "get better" routine. I'd love quarantine to be gone because I want to get back out there and trying dating again. But my "problem" as I discovered it was not that I pick the wrong people per se. I just stay with the wrong people. I was threatened with (and to a certain extant did suffer from) abandonment in my childhood. With that an emotional scars, bandages, and parents who were not emotionally capable of managing their own lives I took whatever door was open to me. Not realizing I could ask for help. Not realizing I could say "this (relationship, work, career, friendship) felt time for a while but it doesn't feel right anymore and I need to move on" and that while sure, no one likes to hear that, I'd be happier and have accomplished a lot more (not that I haven't accomplished things either). I gave up and even buried my dreams, my wants, my needs all to placate people. And yet I know there's hope. I've done it, just inconsistently, in the past. I need to remember that moving forward. Goal for the fall or early 2021 - buy a home! Now if I could just get a new job or...find more meaning and value in the one I have right now. But time will work things out. I'm not concerned too much on the career/work front. I'm lucky in that regard compared to a lot of people. I take that as the trade off for having to deal with personal stuff over the years. To anyone fresh out of relationship feeling lost - especially for good men struggling to find meaning, a good relationship, etc. - feel free to reach out. I've walked the path myself.