How are you coping today?

[Mario79]

I like writting here. How am I feeling today? Cold. With questions and no answers, realizing I am still filled with pride and resentment, and that I havent learned humility. With no choice but to move forward, and realizing that I have a multitude of problems. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe I am meant to walk alone for the time being. Maybe my hopes and dreams should now be limited to only me and not drag anyone else into them.

 

So many questions that run in my head. My beautiful teacher, with a harshest lesson. I am angry at you.

[radiodarcy]

I actually feel a little better today. He emailed me this past Friday with this long song and dance about how he had been too busy with work to stay in touch.

 

I'm not buying it. And this time I used it as an opportunity to let him know how much he had damaged my trust in giving me the run around and that it was going to take a lot for him to re-build it and mend the hurt feelings he had caused me.

 

He came back and said he understood and apologized and said he would try to call me this weekend. By now I've talked to enough people on here as well as my therapist to know that this is all lip service. So I didn't even bother to respond to him.

 

He never called as he said he would. Not that I expected him to. His silence speaks for itself and as does mine. I'm still sad that things work out, but now that I've accepted the situation for what it is, I'm beginning to let it go.

 

My appetite seems to have come back. I even treated myself to a cookie slice at the mall yesterday with double thick frosting and mini m&m's. Ahh sugar -- is there anything it can't cure?

[Pa76]

It's been a week and a day since dumped by him I thought I'd be celebrating holidays and my birthday with. I am 36 and wondering if I will ever find the man I should be with. This is first time I've been dumped and it sucks. I can't get myself out of my apartment today. I remind myself of things that I didn't like about him and think eventually it would of ended cause his ex messed him up so much. I am hoping he feels like crap for letting me go. I treated him so well and I hope he regrets his decision and contacts me and I am strong to ignore him. I moved to PA then met him so every memory is with him of everywhere I go. His friends became my friends and I was close with his mom. Now I have nothing here. Feel lost and sad I won't have what we had again and plans are gone. I've never been a fan of holidays and now I hate them.

[Kansas87]

I moved to PA then met him so every memory is with him of everywhere I go. His friends became my friends and I was close with his mom. Now I have nothing here. Feel lost and sad I won't have what we had again and plans are gone.

 

Same boat for me. I moved here for him and now I feel all alone.

 

Today I am sort of coping and sort of not. I am going through the motions, I guess. I started crying a little this morning. I just miss him- I got so used to having someone always there, you know, in the background. Someone I knew I could talk to anytime. Someone to check my phone for during the day. Someone to go home to at night. I'm just so lonely.

 

Last night I broke down and logged into POF and talked to a couple guys. I know it's stupid, and I don't want to rebound, but it really did make me feel better. For a while, anyway, I didn't feel so hopeless and alone. But I feel guilty about it because I know it's ridiculously soon to do that- I don't intend to meet anyone for a long time, and I told them that, but still. I feel guilty for doing it because I know it probably isn't "healthy."

 

Anyway, today I am going to throw myself into work, then get groceries after work, fill out my address change form, then do some yoga, watch TV, take a hot bath and go to bed. Then get up and do it all over again tomorrow. I hope I don't cry today.

[mendsley]

Feeling depressed today and feel like I should contact her. I know contacting her will cause more pain since the vision of what she would say will never happen. I'm such a strong person and for me to allow another person to dictate my emotions is pethetic. But, for some reason I cannot control how I feel. Seems like the last few days have been low for me... the way to me to go is up. I just hope it happens soon.

[Meadowgreen]

It took ten years, but today I finally told my unrequited love that I no longer wanted him in my life. I blocked him so he couldn't respond, because honestly there's nothing he could say that could alleviate the dull ache I've hung onto all this time. When I clicked 'send' I felt the bile trickle up my throat. I wanted to heave, my heart was breaking so fast, but I know I've done the right thing.

[Pa76]

What I hate is that he is out and about while I feel like s**t. He will enjoy the holidays while I'm here feeling like s**t. Hope he is feeling like crap. How dare someone say they don't feel in love and continue being with me. I want to get out and date in hopes I will meet someone who will open my eyes and say f**k the past I met mr. right. He said he won't be on dating websites because he needs a therapist to figure out why he is messed up from previous relationship. I am scared he will rebound and I will see him with a girl. I wish I could bump into one of his friends one day or his mom and hear from them about him. So many thoughts. I am mad and usually I move on fast but this one is the only one that has made me depressed. I mean right people we hold stand up and be like f**k he person I deserve happiness and continue my life. So why isn't that happening???

[GatsbyMH]

We talked some today. I explained about how she feels so emotionally distant. She says she doesn't mean to be. She said she does sometimes see me and feels stress about everything. We are still headed to the end of January. See what happens.

 

I think she may have a mild depression sometimes. She is very moody and says she eats or thinks about food all the time. Small worry she might be pregnant from me. She hadn't missed a period but she says she can't lose weight. Says something is off with her body.

 

It would be terrible if she was pregnant but I would be happy that we can start moving forward.

 

I told her today she seems distant. barely heard anything from her all afternoon.

 

/sigh

[BC1980]

My moods are all over the place, and I am struggling to realize that it really is over. I can't think about it too deeply because the pain of it being final is hitting me. We talked Friday, and he said he just didn't think it would work. How many times will I allow myself to listen to this? It makes me feel weak and pathetic. I just go through my daily routine in a fog. I go through the motions, but I want to be genuinely happy and excited again.

 

I teared up a little looking at Christmas decorations at the mall yesterday. I thought about our monogrammed stockings (the ex, me, and his son). I thought about how last year he wrote me such a sweet letter on Christmas saying he looked forward to many more together. Piece of sh*t liar. I held up my end of the deal, but he walked out on his.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

^BC thought you were doing NC?

 

Today I'm feeling good, had 5000 calories of fruit and 5 liters of water, no stimulants no caffeine. I cluster****ed myself with bananas. I think I'm going crazy but I love it.

[AZtragedy]

Since my wife very suddenly left me, nearly 7 weeks ago, I have realized that I am living in what I would call "survival mode". It is one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. Food has not really had any taste for me, so I am eating my three meals a day but not really enjoying them. I had to quit caffeine altogether, as coffee was making me have some scary suicidal thoughts.

 

Exercise definitely helps with all the stress and anxiety. Nearly every day I am getting a pretty good workout of some kind.

 

Listening to an album I have not listened to in years, and I am now realizing what relevant lyrics are there - The Beatles' Help!

 

The pain and stress and anxiety continue on, day after day. I am trying to remember that the woman I was in love with is "dead", and the "new person" that she told me she is now, is a terrible, cruel, selfish, immature, and ultimately miserable person. This thought helps, at least a little tiny bit.

[Mariposa10]

I got a new hairstyle last week, got a facial today too. Doing my best to move on and be happy being single

[Dumped85]

Today I was venting over the relationship I was part of with a co worker. I have tegrets still, she deserved so much more of my attention. Its hard because I was co dependent , and had a fear of rejection. From feeling this I just feel disappointed with myself.

[Phoe]

11 hour workday - despite being physically exhausted, all I could think about the whole car ride home was him.

 

I don't even care. Yeah that same dull ache is there but I'm so used to it at this point I just throw my hands in the air and accept that it's still gonna be a while until I stop thinking and hurting.

[GatsbyMH]

Another no sleep night for me. I just wish she wasn't so distant to me. I miss her fiercely. She didn't say goodnight again. But she did read my goodnight messages. I'm sure I am overreacting. I'm just so scared of losing her.

 

We kept an online diary together for years. I was reading her entries and they were so full of love. I pasted a few things she wrote to me years ago to her in chat. No reply.

 

I know she is super stressed. I'm trying not to flip out over anything and make it til the end of January. I just miss our connection. I've asked her to try and come to my place Thursday afternoon for some intimate time but I have this feeling she will not be able to for some reason.

 

Something is just off.

[Chris715]

Come down with a nasty cold the last few days which has practically forced me to stay house ridden. It's been hard because I keep thinking about her, feeling bad that she used me, left me, said terrible things to me, you name it. It's been over a year since we broke up and around 3 months NC yet I continue to feel worse every day, it's pathetic.

 

It probably hasn't helped that I haven't met anyone or dated over the period either. Pretty limited in options right now though. Not doing any more classes for the rest of the semester (withdrew from them all) and meeting women at work is pretty limited and obviously not the easiest thing to do when you're on the clock at a part time job.

 

I was really angry at her a few hours ago, now just really missing her

[Kansas87]

Mornings are so hard and I don't know why. Getting up every day to go to work is hard- I just want to stay in bed and sleep. If I'm asleep I don't have to think about it.

[Pa76]

Mornings are rough! I am so furious a person is making me feel this way. Trying to get myself to job agency so I can get working and be busy. I want him to be feeling like crap for what he did to me. Don't want to be living in this town anymore. Feel like I red to move far from here. My friend text me this morning to ask how I am and thought it was him cause he use to text good morning at same time she text. Wish I knew if he was feeling like crap. So pist off!!!!

[radiodarcy]

I got a breadcrumb text from him last night. All it said was "hi". I didn't respond. But I didn't delete it either.

 

Even with his cat and mouse games and treating me like an afterthought, I still feel guilty not responding to him. I'm still clinging to that tiny scrap of hope that things will change. Even though I know they won't.

 

*sigh* what a marshmallow I am

[Jules78]

I'm 12 days in and my ex started no contact with me because I refused to give him another chance after he had betrayed me. He tried for a month to get me back but I wasn't sure if I could do it. Now that he isn't contacting me I am missing him. Seems silly but I guess I didn't expect him to make the decision on when I would run out of time deciding. He said he would fight for me forever (I did not expect forever, of course). I think he was distracted yet again bu another woman. I know I am better off but...

 

This morning was rough. I have a 6 year old son (with my ex-husband who I get along great with) and I yelled at him out of frustration. Not because of what he did but because of what I am feeling. That did not feel good. I hate the mornings and the evenings. They suck!!

[Shaine]

Im feeling like a lost sheep again. I cant sleep at night. I sleep on the morning when im all exhausted from reading LS.

 

Right now, i dont feel so good. I dont know how to pick up myself again. Ive been thinking about him. Do you even think of me? Do you miss me?

[ColinO]

Week 4 of our second (final) Separation in the past 4 months. 4 years of marriage, 6 years together.

 

We decided to move away from my friends and family to move closer to hers. She left me 18 months later, saying she doesn't love me anymore.

 

The past 3 days, I have felt like I have really started moving forward. Our separation emails don't bother me, I am completing all of my Therapy homework, built a kick ass "moving on" playlist, and still completing my daily "Uninsulting benefits of my Separation/Divorce" FB posts. Opened up my profile so everyone can see. I don't care if she looks it up.

 

I feel good, I feel like I'm progressing, and I feel like I can take on our divorce positively. I can do this without giving hurt or allowing her to hurt me.

 

As a lurker the past several months, I just wanted to thank everyone on here for all the unknown support you give us all.

[Isadora]

I keep getting waves of 'maybe it's better for now, I can focus on just me' and 'I just wish he would ask to be together again' and 'I just really miss him'..

My dreams are still running wild with stories of us together. This sucks.

[Dumped85]

Had a bit of a cry just now, I hate that we didn't communicate the important things. So much regret still. 5 months gone and today it feels so fresh. I looked at a past Facebook posts where she was happy that I was in her life. How things change :'(

[GatsbyMH]

So lonely tonight. My ex wife is dating now. She's met a really great guy and I am happy for them both. I don't quite miss her but knowing she is out dating and I'm home alone kind of bums me out.

 

I can't be with my girlfriend as I'd like. She just can't in her current circumstances as of yet. I miss her a lot. Even talking to her right now isn't the same anymore since she's stressed about a bunch of things and I just remind her of a lot of the stress. She needs some distance right now and I'm trying to give it to her.

 

Too bad we don't have a chatroom or ICQ group for this forum. That would be nice. Not for hooking up. Just to be able to talk to other people who need an ear to vent to or a shoulder to cry on.