How are you coping today?

[acidios]

not good my mind goes back to memories and my mood change.weekend is on the way and that makes everything really hard.its not easy to control the feelings inside my chest i miss her a lot and im trying to not go on the "what she will do on the weekend" way of thinking she dumped me she dont care about me. i must be strong

[Dumped85]

I feel like crap, I hate being alone.

[Stay]

Met her after 6 months of no contact, rush of feelings came back. I really do miss her but we can never be together again, too many bridges burned. Everything I believed in was a lie. I was doing fine and never had her cross my mind these 6 months but now I can't get her out of my mind.

[radiodarcy]

i thought i was feeling better but here i am up again at 2:30 in the morning. i still dread the weekends. all i ever see when i go out - - day or night - - are couples couples couples. i hate it. i hate everyone.

[Kansas87]

I had a dream about him last night. Not *about* him, just a dream where we were still together. I wasn't sad when I woke up; more resigned to the fact that it's going to take for-ev-er to move past this stage. *sigh* I feel about 1000% better than I did last week. Moving out did really help, everyone was right about that.

 

But I have come to the conclusion that I put him on a pedestal he didn't deserve. He didn't want me, he picked at my faults to find excuses to leave, but in the end he did me a favor. I'd rather hold out for someone devoted to building a relationship than someone devoted to finding excuses to end one.

[Pa76]

i thought i was feeling better but here i am up again at 2:30 in the morning. i still dread the weekends. all i ever see when i go out - - day or night - - are couples couples couples. i hate it. i hate everyone.

 

I hear ya! I am so sick of seeing couples. When weekends are almost here I dread it. Every Friday I use to be excited for weekend cause always had plans with him. He dumped me on a Saturday. My ex from years go contacted me this week. He invited me over so will be seeing an ex I dumped years go this Saturday (no feelings for this ex). My recent ex has a ton of friends and I hope I don't run into any. I never want to hear bout or see him again after what he did.

[radiodarcy]

I hear ya! I am so sick of seeing couples. When weekends are almost here I dread it. Every Friday I use to be excited for weekend cause always had plans with him. He dumped me on a Saturday. My ex from years go contacted me this week. He invited me over so will be seeing an ex I dumped years go this Saturday (no feelings for this ex). My recent ex has a ton of friends and I hope I don't run into any. I never want to hear bout or see him again after what he did.

 

my friends say i seem to notice them more because of the break up. But I don't think it's my imagination, where I live the ratio of women to men is like 10:1. Which means chances are he's already got someone to couple up with by now anyway

[mendsley]

The last few days have been good since I've been actively working on moving past this ****. I do feel a little lonely today and miss her, but I'm going to stay strong and push her out. Everytime a thought of her enters my mind I label it as a toxic thought and force myself to think of something positive.

[Jules78]

Today is better than yesterday. I think now that I know my hunch was right and there is someone else and he is magically happy again I am finding it easier to let go. I have dwelled on it so much since it happened that I am wearing myself out! I thought no one would love me as hard as he loved me and I was afraid of missing that. But I know I can find the same thing. I didn't believe that until today for some reason. I hope I feel that way tomorrow, too.

[acidios]

3rd day of nc...i just woke up and im really down..i want to hug her and talk to her so much that i look around the room searching for her.i feel lost i started smoking again its not good i know but right now i feel completely useless and i needed i cigg.every weekend we spended our time together for 6 years i really was ready to make the next step i really wanted to marry her and now everything is lost the thoughts the feelings all strike me right now time for another cigg.

[TrappedWanderer]

I really wish that I had never met you. I was just fine before you came along. Then you were there in my life. I trusted you. I felt safe with you. I dared to dream with you what our lives would be together. Then you destroyed everything. Now I'm lost and confused. You gave me breadcrumbs but all that you accomplished was to twist the knife in my wound.

 

Well I will show you. As Anyanova is my witness, I will not break NC again. If you show up to pay me, fine. But I will not reach out to you again.

 

I feel exactly the same, Joel. Sigh.

 

I don't understand why any of this has happened, and so quickly. Part of me is so hurt and angry that I want to email him and try to impress upon him just how f'ed up this all is. I want to pour my hearty out to him, bc he is the person I've spent so long pouring my heart out to. And I took such comfort in that, in having someone there, when I've always been so reserved before. I want to understand why he did this, and especially in the way he did this. I want him to care about the intense pain he's caused...not only to myself, which is intense, but to my friends and family. When I got to my moms house a few days ago, my mom said, through her tears, that the last thing the ex said to her, as we were at the airport, was that he promised to take care of me. Not in the "little wifey" way, but in the "being there" way. Well, obviously he wasn't capable of that. He's not capable of any responsibility. He buries his head in the sand and pretends the things he f'ed up on didn't happen.

 

And really, that's why I'm not emailing him. Even though I desperately want to. I want him to care. I want to know he's feeling some sort of embarrassment and shame about how he ended things. All the promises, all the secrets shared...or so I thought. All the things he's taken away from me and destroyed. Because I know he'll just laugh and think "yeah yeah, but MY pain is so much greater" and not give a s*&t that he had someone who loved him, flaws and all, and who tried to stand by him. But I finally had to leave before I was destroyed to the point of not being able to come back from it.

 

This holiday season-one which should have been so happy-is just killing me. Financially wiped out bc of him, emotionally drained, humiliated and hurt. And while I'm so angry and hate him for doing this...I still wish I'd hear from him. Taking it day by day here....day by day.

[Never Again]

Found out that my ex left me because I let things get dull for a month and a half.

 

In those 6 weeks, she went out and had fun with local friends. That fun was pulse pounding and she found herself attracted to one of them.

 

Since she claimed to "love" me, this confused her and spun her around.

 

Now she's chasing him.

 

I guess you can't ever let things get dull. Not even for a month.

[Jules78]

I feel exactly the same, Joel. Sigh.

 

I don't understand why any of this has happened, and so quickly. Part of me is so hurt and angry that I want to email him and try to impress upon him just how f'ed up this all is. I want to pour my hearty out to him, bc he is the person I've spent so long pouring my heart out to. And I took such comfort in that, in having someone there, when I've always been so reserved before. I want to understand why he did this, and especially in the way he did this. I want him to care about the intense pain he's caused...not only to myself, which is intense, but to my friends and family. When I got to my moms house a few days ago, my mom said, through her tears, that the last thing the ex said to her, as we were at the airport, was that he promised to take care of me. Not in the "little wifey" way, but in the "being there" way. Well, obviously he wasn't capable of that. He's not capable of any responsibility. He buries his head in the sand and pretends the things he f'ed up on didn't happen.

 

And really, that's why I'm not emailing him. Even though I desperately want to. I want him to care. I want to know he's feeling some sort of embarrassment and shame about how he ended things. All the promises, all the secrets shared...or so I thought. All the things he's taken away from me and destroyed. Because I know he'll just laugh and think "yeah yeah, but MY pain is so much greater" and not give a s*&t that he had someone who loved him, flaws and all, and who tried to stand by him. But I finally had to leave before I was destroyed to the point of not being able to come back from it.

 

This holiday season-one which should have been so happy-is just killing me. Financially wiped out bc of him, emotionally drained, humiliated and hurt. And while I'm so angry and hate him for doing this...I still wish I'd hear from him. Taking it day by day here....day by day.

 

That sucks so bad and hurts like a mofo, I know. Same thing going on over here. Mine shut me out after talking my ear off for weeks and blowing up my phone daily and non-stop. He didn't respond to any of my emails that I sent to him. 3 telling him I loved him and how I wanted to know why he has cut me off when he said he would wait for me and that he would always want to try. Then 2 desperate attempts that were ignored as well. And finally, after realizing there was someone else already, I fired off one last mean email and let him know what a POS he was and that I knew about her. He instantly read it and shut down all of his social media accounts. Mind you I didn't know he even had a FB until yesterday. He was always so against it and created one in September when we were still together but talking through things. WTF. Thanks for never telling me a-hole.

 

Anyway, I was reading through the last texts he sent me on that day and OMG what the fug?! How does someone say how much they love me and how crazy they are about me and how much they want me in their life forever and then a few hours later - gone! No more contact. He got to say everything and I got to say nothing. Now he's happy as he can be with his new woman? WTF?

 

I will never understand.

 

I hope it gets better for you. It's hard to believe someone who we loved and we thought loved us so much could be so cruel.

[fuguemaniac]

Doing very badly today, the same as the last two days, to the point where I feel completely paralyzed. I don't know why I'm even bothering to write this here, except that I feel the need to say this to someone, ANYONE... My five year relationship ended last July when the girl I moved across the country for decided to break up with me. This completely destroyed me and it took nearly eight months for me to get to the point where all I felt was indifference--a welcome relief!

 

At the end of last year I met someone else, a coworker, and at first it was just friendly talking. We ended up spending a lot of time together over the spring, summer, and fall, and became good friends. There was a different energy there, though, something more. Several coworkers even asked if we were dating... I became very interested in her, and I think she was interested too, even if she is not anymore. After all, I don't walk around or sit around holding hands with my other friends...

 

Anyway, she left the job to study for the GRE and I knew I wouldn't see much of her for a while. In fact I've now seen her once in the last six weeks after spending quite a lot of time together. She has also done some strange and inconsiderate things over the last few months--we would make plans and then she would disappear, or say "Oh, I decided to go hang out with X instead, so I couldn't make it." And she wouldn't even apologize. Sometimes she wouldn't say anything about it. I know I shouldn't put up with this but I did because I like her so much...

 

Finally two weeks ago she has her last exam and calls me to make plans. We had a really nice day together on Friday, and then made plans to do something the next day, and again at the end of the following week. Saturday morning she sends me a message, "I'm going to meet X and I don't know when I'll be done." I thought we made plans. I call her later on Wednesday about doing something Thurs or Fri like she wanted and she says "Oh yeah, of course, let's see what we can do." And then she disappears. Not a word until I call her the following Tuesday. Again I try to make plans with her for this weekend, and she responds that she wants to do something too. We call back and forth Wednesday until we can actually speak directly, about 5:30 PM. The first three minutes is the normal stuff, talking about finding better jobs, etc., until she suddenly says "Umm, I'm actually out on a date right now." "Oh." That's all I can say but I feel the blood drain out of my face and my mind go blank. "I'm going to call you later, OK?" "Yeah, of course," I say. Not a word from her yet. She used to call me a lot. This is after she repeatedly told me she would never date any American guys, only someone from her own country. She later amended this to "or, at least someone who really appreciates me." In fact she was always telling me about the guys she was rejecting. Yet there was always a certain intimacy between us. Deep down she knows I like her, but I never had the balls to say it directly in words until now.

 

Don't worry, I'm almost done

Now, the thing is, she was never my girlfriend. But I've allowed myself to put such a heavy emotional investment into this that I feel like I've been broken up with again. All the old feelings have come back too, and I think everyone here knows what I'm talking about--sick to my stomach, pacing around my crummy apartment, feeling totally helpless and worthless, going over every little detail again and again, not feeling like doing anything, even eating, mind is racing and I can't turn it off. All of the times that she has been inconsiderate hurt much more than normal because of what I thought was there. And she may not be interested anymore, if she ever was. We are good friends if nothing else, but she is not even treating me like a friend now, and I really miss her. There is just a huge void now. I know I need to keep busy in the mean time but I just can't seem to focus on anything.

I know I'll talk to her eventually, and see her eventually, if I want to, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to say.

 

I'm sorry that was so long. I just needed to get it out there.

[Kansas87]

I hate it that I keep having to contact him to tie up loose ends. Arrange for him to bring my furniture, check (at least I wasn't there when he did). Text him asking to send or mail my spare car key that I forgot, check. Ugh. It sucks because I know it's not full NC but it is stuff that has to be done. Hopefully after this it's all finished.

[strive]

2 months post BU and LC for almost as long. Been doing great until ex contacted me about my child. A few tense conversations. And now I find myself being set back again. Been having dreams, which only happened once before. Now it's 3rd day in a row.

 

I wish I'm back to being okay again. I heard it's easier to bounce back at this stage compared to the first few weeks.

[Pa76]

2 weeks today since dumped. Trying to not put my mind there. Realize more and more what a schmuck he truly is. Talking to a guy on a dating site. Seems to be going well. Just worried he knows my ex so not sure how to find out. My friends said if you meet the guy and like him screw your ex you are the one who deserves happiness. Just would be weird if he does know him. I am ready to have someone come into my life because I deserve it. Will not let my selfish ex ruin me like I have let this dumping do to me. I am going to sign up for kickboxing classes today. Get in best shape of my life and enjoy the good looking MMA instructors. hehe So am I 100% over...nope. I do not miss him and never want him in my life again. I think of him and don't think he is attractive anymore. Glad I don't have to deal with his complaining and car crap. Hope I won't see him but if I do I will completely ignore. Only thing I miss is having a special man in my life. Also miss having stuff to do. Moved here last year but feels all new again. Hoping kickboxing and new job brings new friends.

[jeremy2125]

Im feeling a bit better it has been a full week of **** though. I look back and realize she wasn't that great of a person anyways. She hates kids, and supports euthanizing mentally challenged!!! Sometimes I ask myself, how the hell did I fall for this person.

[Pa76]

Im feeling a bit better it has been a full week of **** though. I look back and realize she wasn't that great of a person anyways. She hates kids, and supports euthanizing mentally challenged!!! Sometimes I ask myself, how the hell did I fall for this person.

 

 

Damn she doesn't sound like a happy person. I think most of us realize afterwards that this person causing this pain inside us...really isn't or wasn't worth it. My friend said everything happens for a reason and everyones life is a story. Something good will come from this she said. I was like umm look at me this person made me a mess since he dumped me and shouldn't of wasted my time. She said yes but it will make you stronger while karma will hit him hard.

 

SO everyone who is aching throw your middle fingers in the air and yell f**k you a**h**e my story is better without you.

[radiodarcy]

I'm was feeling ok at first, but now I'm feeling pretty low. The what ifs seem to be taking over my mind today.

 

I was wandering through Old Navy and saw this dress that looked nice but wouldn't have been a good fit on me.

 

That's when I started asking myself, what if he has a girlfriend and she's out with him, wearing that dress and looking great in it?

 

What if he's smiling at her and calling her all the pet names he used to call me?

 

What if she's the reason I've already become a blip on his radar?

 

What if he never cared about me to begin with?

[Pa76]

I'm was feeling ok at first, but now I'm feeling pretty low. The what ifs seem to be taking over my mind today.

 

I was wandering through Old Navy and saw this dress that looked nice but wouldn't have been a good fit on me.

 

That's when I started asking myself, what if he has a girlfriend and she's out with him, wearing that dress and looking great in it?

 

What if he's smiling at her and calling her all the pet names he used to call me?

 

What if she's the reason I've already become a blip on his radar?

 

What if he never cared about me to begin with?

 

 

You need to find a way to shut the "what ifs" out. Trust me I know it's hard. I was thinking he is probably out having fun maybe relieved to be single again. Once you feel the what ifs coming start thinking you are better off without him. Hurts so much when our heart breaks but someone better is out there for you.

[acidios]

4th day of NC. its hard...its weekend..im thinking of her what she doin etc. but then i try to focus on something else its not easy today i had my first "my life will be all alone feelin".i know thats not true coz its up to my hard to search for the "chosen one",but she was a "chosen one" also.

 

i hate the silence today everything..i talked with my parents and some friends but right now im all alone infront of my pc in a room that we first entered together...thats the reason that i think to move on but...then i remember that i own the house..i bought it with dreams of us having kids in here and be a happy family.hard day really hard day

[Pa76]

Wish this website had a chat room. I know this is one in a way but when people want to talk to others in similar situation it's easier having instant feedback. All of my friends are married. Can tell of past but aren't where we are now.

[acidios]

4:31 morning here i woke up after a bad dream, my head is killing me right now.to say the true i havent done a "normal sleep" those 4 days that i have started NC..i miss her so much...

[AZtragedy]

 

i hate the silence today everything..i talked with my parents and some friends but right now im all alone infront of my pc in a room that we first entered together...thats the reason that i think to move on but...then i remember that i own the house..i bought it with dreams of us having kids in here and be a happy family.hard day really hard day

 

 

I am with you on this, for sure. I, too, cannot just shake off all the dreams, plans and hopes for the future we had when my wife and I got this house just over a year ago. She wanted this so badly, and now she left it so quickly and easily.

 

Today has been very hard, that is for sure.