single ladies 30 and up, how are you?

[hotpotato]

I just can't imagine meeting a women from 20 to 40 something. That is going to have sex with a guy or me off the bat. These cold calls from guys to women for sex to me is just so un-realistic.

 

Does this really happen. The only time I have ever had easy sex is when the woman is really into me. I just barely pick up on it. No way a cold approch is going to work on a woman for me. Sex/Relationship or not.

 

The only way I could see a women being like that, is if she wants to make her husband/BF/EX jealous.

 

I wish i could say it were not so. I kinda thought Fitting Room Dude would try to make a move, but dang, he couldn't wait til we got out the mall.

 

Pretty much every date ive gone on the guy has tried to have sex with me on the first date. There were even guys who seemed like they really like me who did that. I can count on this almost as surely as i count on the sun shining.

 

I don't go on first dates dressed provocatively or anything.

 

I have a lot of strange encounters with men. Just check out my threads.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I don't get guys attempting to have sex with me on the spot in cold approaches, but certainly on OLDs. Within the first 2 dates, 95% of the guys invite me to their place or invite themselves to mine. Those are the guys that say they want a relationship in their profiles. During that time, I haven't even warmed up enough to want to hold hands, let alone anything else. They seem to go through the motions of bare minimum of conversation and already have an arm around my waist or on my knee/thigh. Just can't take it anymore.

[hotpotato]

I don't get guys attempting to have sex with me on the spot in cold approaches, but certainly on OLDs. Within the first 2 dates, 95% of the guys invite me to their place or invite themselves to mine. Those are the guys that say they want a relationship in their profiles. During that time, I haven't even warmed up enough to want to hold hands, let alone anything else. They seem to go through the motions of bare minimum of conversation and already have an arm around my waist or on my knee/thigh. Just can't take it anymore.

Right! It gets old. I go one dating sites to date. I esp hate when they use coded language like "Lets watch a movie" or "Next time come to my place and ill cook for you."

x infinity

[Mysterio]

Once again. I don't have relationships off the bat where sex is concerned. That to me is so strange. For me. I don't and will not have a pregnancy over a one night stand.

 

My last GF and I had sex at week 6. I could see heavy make out session first. Not sex. Whats the rush.

 

Guys for the most part don't know how to date or handle a woman. I don't know what to say. I think both genders need to take there time.

 

For me at age 46. I think I am going to hold off from sex, unless she is basically my GF. I will never force the sex issue.

[telemakus]

For the ladies who are struggling, can you describe what struggling looks like from your perspective?

 

For me, when I was struggling, it looked like this: I approached dozens of women and got rejected by all of them. I tried lots of different things (fitness, hobbies, makeover, events, etc.) and received the same results for years on end.

 

Haha yeah. Most single women I know who are single for very long complain that there are 'no hot guys' asking them out. As if they're just entitled to that.

[hotpotato]

Haha yeah. Most single women I know who are single for very long complain that there are 'no hot guys' asking them out. As if they're just entitled to that.

 

Well, i guess that's my preference! I'm in good shape, and i want a man who is in good shape. I don't need a man just because he's a man. Plenty of men won't give that woman who is a 1 or 2 a shot. We've already had that discussion in this thread.

 

I get hit on sometimes by guys who are old enough to be my grandfather. i'm not going to date them just because they are a man and asked me out.

[telemakus]

Well, i guess that's my preference! I'm in good shape, and i want a man who is in good shape. I don't need a man just because he's a man. Plenty of men won't give that woman who is a 1 or 2 a shot. We've already had that discussion in this thread.

 

I get hit on sometimes by guys who are old enough to be my grandfather. i'm not going to date them just because they are a man and asked me out.

 

Well I'm not making reference to you specifically as I don't know you. For the most part the women I know who'd complain about not getting asked out by hot guys aren't particularly hot themselves. Newsflash but hot guys are king of the castle, they have unlimited options because they are so rare and women treat them like unicorns. If a woman isn't being asked out by hot guys then she's likely not of equivalent attractiveness. So should probably explore the vast gap between Ryan Gosling and Grandpa's pals.

[hotpotato]

The bolded is a HUGE assumption on your part. Huge. There are many women that were in long term relationships at that age with guys that led them to believe they will marry them one day. They had those relationships fall apart after 7+ years together...and suddenly they were left single at an older age. There are women with medical conditions that left them off the dating market during the "peak" age. There are women that wanted to travel and work on their career (just like men do!!!) and didn't feel ready to settle down at that age.

 

I am just saying that there are many other circumstances beyond what you describe and beyond woman's control.

 

I think that's where we as women do ourselves a disservice sometimes. I have a general rule, if a man hasn't married you after 2 or 3 years, he probably will not. There are exceptions of course, but from what i've seen, this is pretty correct. One exception would be people who started dating in their teens. If you start dating at 15 you probably won't get married at 18. I know couples who dated young, married in their twenties, and had at least one break in their relationship.

 

If i wanted to be married and have kids at this age, i certainly wouldnt wait 7 years for a man to make up his mind.

 

 

Well I'm not making reference to you specifically as I don't know you. For the most part the women I know who'd complain about not getting asked out by hot guys aren't particularly hot themselves. Newsflash but hot guys are king of the castle, they have unlimited options because they are so rare and women treat them like unicorns. If a woman isn't being asked out by hot guys then she's likely not of equivalent attractiveness. So should probably explore the vast gap between Ryan Gosling and Grandpa's pals.

 

Hmm i dunno. I get called gorgeous, and i'm in great shape. I get hit on by some men who are waaaaay older than me or are very unattractive. I'm legit, i've casually dated pro and semi pro athletes when i could find them, usually online. Older men, minorities, and men who are very unattractive physically just seem to be more sexually aggressive. The last guy i dated looked like a retired saints planer. My fwb before him is really into basketball, maybe could go semi pro. I met them both in person, but they are both minorities (kings of cold approach), and the former guy was 50 when we met.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I don't see why women should settle for less than an equivalent of what they are offering. If I'm smart, educated and have a good job, I want the same. If I'm above average looking, I want the same. For me he doesn't have to be super hot, cute and in shape will do. But late 30s and sporting a beer gut? No thanks I will pass.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Right! It gets old. I go one dating sites to date. I esp hate when they use coded language like "Lets watch a movie" or "Next time come to my place and ill cook for you."

x infinity

 

Hahaha I had it even worse, a guy invited himself to my place so that I can cook for him. I called him out on it and posted it on here. I got lot of insults about how I was too blunt. How it's my own fault that I now lost that guy. Lost "hit it and quit it" more like it. And he wasn't even attractive

[telemakus]

I don't see why women should settle for less than an equivalent of what they are offering. If I'm smart, educated and have a good job, I want the same. If I'm above average looking, I want the same. For me he doesn't have to be super hot, cute and in shape will do. But late 30s and sporting a beer gut? No thanks I will pass.

 

Well you're hardly going after certain men based on a rational assessment of what you think you're offering. What if you lost an arm tomorrow? Would you suddenly chase after less attractive men because you're offering a less attractive package? Of course not.And if you think you would, maybe ask yourself why it would need to take something like that for you to do so.

[hotpotato]

Hahaha I had it even worse, a guy invited himself to my place so that I can cook for him. I called him out on it and posted it on here. I got lot of insults about how I was too blunt. How it's my own fault that I now lost that guy. Lost "hit it and quit it" more like it. And he wasn't even attractive

 

Sounds like you dodge a bullet! Good for you for calling him out on that bs.

You should be blunt. If a woman didn't know what he meant, that could be a confusing or even dangerous situation. We're adults here, if you want sex,just say so.

[curiouslysearching]

I don't see why women should settle for less than an equivalent of what they are offering. If I'm smart, educated and have a good job, I want the same. If I'm above average looking, I want the same. For me he doesn't have to be super hot, cute and in shape will do. But late 30s and sporting a beer gut? No thanks I will pass.

 

ES (not ED...lol)....you OWE NOTHING TO ANYONE but yourself. If you

are not into IT or HIM or THEM, then simply DON'T DO IT....but only

YOU know what it is that you need, want, etc....

[hotpotato]

Well you're hardly going after certain men based on a rational assessment of what you think you're offering. What if you lost an arm tomorrow? Would you suddenly chase after less attractive men because you're offering a less attractive package? Of course not.And if you think you would, maybe ask yourself why it would need to take something like that for you to do so.

 

if she wants an attractive man, that's her prerogative. There are plenty of attractive guys who won't date down, and plenty of attractive, fit men who won't date a fat girl no matter how great she is.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Well I'm not making reference to you specifically as I don't know you. For the most part the women I know who'd complain about not getting asked out by hot guys aren't particularly hot themselves. Newsflash but hot guys are king of the castle, they have unlimited options because they are so rare and women treat them like unicorns. If a woman isn't being asked out by hot guys then she's likely not of equivalent attractiveness. So should probably explore the vast gap between Ryan Gosling and Grandpa's pals.

 

Yeah,...there's this chubby woman that actually said IN her profile that she prefers her men toned and fit...but...look at her...she has nothing to offer in that department. I was kind of attracted her to be honest...as she had a pretty face, and wasn't obese though.

 

You'd think she'd know her place in the dating pecking order. You'd think she'd KNOW her equivalent when she sees him..ya know?

Edited April 3, 2017 by LookAtThisPOst

[William]

Thread closed to remove some more members who choose to ignore the topic and moderation.

 

OK, three more members suspended and respondents please be sure to read this directive prior to adding content:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/615340-single-ladies-30-up-how-you-2.html#post7254446

Edited April 3, 2017 by William

[hotpotato]

Single ladies do you ever worry about having kids or what it will be like being older with no kids?

[polkapot]

It's crossed my mind. Not in a major way though. I've seen that family brings a LOT of challenges, to put it mildly, and have seen people end up quite unhappy because their kids treat them poorly. So I don't really think that marriage and kids guarantee happiness or care in old age. Loneliness is terrible and so is being abandoned. What I focus on is what I want to do and what I'm able to do, including my frame of mind.

 

I'm single and not looking, and quite happy. I've never really dated, the longterm relationship I had was with someone I got to know as a friend. I've tried OLD and found it annoying and a waste of time. While I am open to a partner I know that it takes a lot of work that might not lead to anything and I'd rather live my life.