Addison Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Almost exactly a year ago my ex, Steve, and I broke up. It wasn't a bad break, nothing really happened except that he was told that he was going to be deployed and he was afraid of us getting serious and then having to be apart for a year. So we stopped dating and he ended up not being deployed. We remained really good friends and I dated someone else for the last 9 months. I'm still not completely over that relationship but Steve and I started hanging out again as friends and last night we ended up kissing and talking about our feelings for each other. He said that he has always cared about me and that he would really love for us to spend what time we have left together. (He has an official deployment date of 9/15/05 this time.) I told him that I'm still healing from my last relationship but that I would love to hang out and whatever happens with us just happens. Of course I would miss him when he leaves but it's not like I would feel abandoned or anything. He doesn't have a choice in leaving. So we had a really great time last night and I thought that we were just going to relax and just spend time together. Today though he is apparently second guessing this decision. I know it's not about his feelings for me, but more about him not wanting to get attached or hurt. I completely understand how he is feeling but instead of discussing this with me he has just been picking fights about everything that I say. If I say anything jokingly he takes it seriously and gets mad. So I finally just told him on the phone that this was rediculous and that the only important thing to me was his friendship. If he doesn't want us to be more, that's not a problem. I just need for him to make up his mind because my heart is still not completely healed from my most recent relationship, the last thing I need is for him to mess with it too. I can't even begin to imagine what he is feeling about leaving for Iraq, but while he's here I need him to be real with me. Two months left together isn't a long time but if it is all the time that we have, I just want to enjoy it together and not worry about all the other stuff. I don't know how to make him understand this though. He told me when we hung up that he would call me in a couple of days because he needs to think. I just want to be there for him right now because he is leaving. I don't want to make any of this harder for him. So do you think that I should take what opportunity I have to see what could happen between us, or should I just not worry about it and hope that I don't always wonder "what if...?" Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Any updates to report? Link to post Share on other sites
WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I am about to leave for Iraq too. and let me say this very honestly.... im scared ****less. Yup.... just watch the news. Thats every reason why im nervous as hell. I leave this tuesday, and Im still fighting with the one I love and I wont be back till next March. He might be lashinging out because hes scared or nervous. As for the relationship, two important things that I would like before I go... the best time with her as a couple in love and while Im over there not to get a "Dear John" letter. Ill only be there for 6 months because Im meeting my unit out there. He's proably going for 9 months close to a year, right? I say treat every moment like its the last, live it to the fullest. But I dont want you on this web site after he leaves asking for advise on what to tell him if you want to break up with him in a few months. It's a hard situation your in, and Im sorry your in it. Just follow your heart and you'll be fine. Thats my best advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Originally posted by WhatShldIDo I am about to leave for Iraq too. and let me say this very honestly.... im scared ****less. Yup.... just watch the news. Thats every reason why im nervous as hell. May god be with you .. Thanks for being part of the bravest group of men and women in the world .. without the brave like you we would live in a different world today. I hope you have a safe departure and a safe return Link to post Share on other sites
Rocko Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Originally posted by Art_Critic May god be with you .. Thanks for being part of the bravest group of men and women in the world .. without the brave like you we would live in a different world today. I hope you have a safe departure and a safe return Quoted for Truth. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatShldIDo Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Well I tried to get a hold of my ex and she blew me off totally. Everytime I found her she told me that something else was more inportant and had to leave. Then she told me she would call and shut her cell phone off. That's how I didn't want to leave with me having to say something to someone I love. It leaves a unresolved matter deep in my heart. Don't let that be your case when he has to go Addison. It feels like total ****, and will till I either forget about her in 6 months, or come back and find out that I am stupid enough to try again. It's a pretty raw deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Addison Posted August 23, 2005 Author Share Posted August 23, 2005 Sorry I never posted on this again. I didn't think anyone had responded to it. Well, Steve and I are friends again but that's all. He just kind of came back while I was really lonely and I thought that I wanted him back. I really don't though because I love my kind of ex-boyfriend too much to be with anyone else right now. He is going to be leaving for Iraq really soon and we are enjoying hanging out when we can. Getting back into a relationship with him this soon before his deployment would have been a mistake anyways. As much as I would have wanted to remain his girlfriend while he was gone I don't know that I could have done that in my present state. I would definitely have been tormented seeing as how the guy I love is now back in my life. Sort of. I just wanted to update. And to say that I hope you have a safe trip overseas WhatShldIdo. Take care of yourself. Everything else will work itself out the way that it should be eventually. Just hang in there. I know how hard it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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