JustAGirl Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 about those 2 Qns - no they never got answered ... lemme re-ask, just in case u'd have some ideas : Hi =) I'm back with more questions 1) my bf said something like "i feel like anytime, u might point to a guy & say he's yr new bf, and that'll be the last i see of u" ... any comments? i was kind of flattered, cuz i'm successful in "keeping him on the edge", but later i wondered if he meant more by that... 2) this guy seems to like me... (yes, the guy to who's party i went to last week) ... he keeps calling once in a while & suggesting movies, etc... the thing is - i rlly don't like him as a guy, but I don't know how to get that across ... i thought telling him im busy like 2 weeks ahead when he calls would be enough!! I like hanging out w/ him & his friends as a group though... so i stay nice n friendly, and dont want any discomfort to occur... How do i get my point across without awkwardness? SHould i ever bother with it? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 1. "about those 2 Qns - no they never got answered" I don't know what questions you are referring to. However, if you posted and I did not answer, there may be several reasons. First, I get criticized for trying to put my two cents in to every post. Second, I missed it. Third, I didn't see or understand you had more questions. 2. "my bf said something like "i feel like anytime, u might point to a guy & say he's yr new bf, and that'll be the last i see of u" ... any comments?" Sounds like he's insecure. There's a reason why. Are you doing something to make him feel insecure? 3. "i was kind of flattered, cuz i'm successful in "keeping him on the edge", but later i wondered if he meant more by that..." You shouldn't feel flattered, although you are entitled to your feelings. People get into and remain in relationships for the security and love they feel. If someone is in a relationship and they constrantly feel "on the edge" they will surely get out and start seeing someone whom they feel will be around for a long time. Yes, a little jealousy here and there is very good but a constant insecure feeling is very bad for a relationship. If he feels this way all the time, do what you can to reassure him. Doing things now and then to keep him on his toes is OK. I personally don't stay in relationships where I feel on the edge all the time. I love myself too much to do that. 4. "this guy seems to like me... (yes, the guy to who's party i went to last week) ... he keeps calling once in a while & suggesting movies, etc...(copy left out intentionally by Tony) I like hanging out w/ him & his friends as a group though... so i stay nice n friendly, and dont want any discomfort to occur... How do i get my point across without awkwardness?" You don't get your point across by being "nice n friendly." That just encourages him. The guy knows you have a boyfriend and yet he comes after you??? Don't do it directly but tell one of your friends who will pass the word to him that you think it's pretty cheap for a guy who knows you have a boyfriend to be hitting on you. Also let him know, through a friend, that you are absolutely not interested in him as more than a friend and that is in jeopardy if he doesn't stop hitting on you. If he doesn't get the message, find out what his IQ is. If he's mentally challenged, you may just have to put up with him. 5. "SHould i ever bother with it?" No, the guy is low class. He doesn't get messages. He has no manners. I personally would have no desire to be his friend whatsoever. You are not obligated to be somebody's friend because they happen to be in the circle you travel with. Let him know, either directly or through friends, that unless he changes his behavior you want nothing to do with him. Oh, he may cop an attitude for a week or two, but unless he's just plain dumb, he'll understand you've done him a real favor by giving him the word. If he likes wasting time, give him other options for doing so. I know a lot of guys have gotten girls by being persistent over a period of time but, first, you've got a boyfriend. Someone who goes after you while you are seeing somebody has absolutely no integrity or morals. You don't need that. Second, I never pester a lady to go out with me. If she says no the second time and doesn't seem really disappointed because she is busy or doesn't offer an alternative day or situation, she is history in my dating life for all time...until the end of the world. I used to be around when guys pestered my sister and put her through hell and I swore I would never to that to a girl. Guys can be real inconsiderate buttholes and that's what this guy is being. Knowing you have a boyfriend...and knowing you are in his circle of friends and calling you for dates anyway. He is a worthless swine. "Thanks!" You are quite welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
JustAGirl Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 1. "about those 2 Qns - no they never got answered" I don't know what questions you are referring to. However, if you posted and I did not answer, there may be several reasons. First, I get criticized for trying to put my two cents in to every post. Second, I missed it. Third, I didn't see or understand you had more questions. no no : i posted a couple days ago... and u posted a msg yesterday asking if anyone ever replied. so i re-posted here thanks a lot for yr response. gonna go assure my bf a bit more Link to post Share on other sites
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