whichwayisup Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by old guy Thank You, that's inspiring and very good advice on the emotions. You're welcome, anytime! Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Life is not that cut-and-dried. Some people prefer not to fend for themselves. You can try to force them to do so until you're blue in the face but they will want to lean on others. If a person needs to lean on others, they need to get their own s*** together before they try making a relationship work. It's inaccurate to compare this sort of relationship to an abusive relationship because in this case nobody is harmed. Yes, someone is harmed, because they have an inaccurate and distorted view of what a relationship should be. Neither person lives up to their potential, and neither is getting what they should out of the relationship. You mate shouldn't be your mother, your child, or your father. You may happen to think that independence is the best way to live, but you don't have to look too hard to find women who still expect to be 'taken care of' even in this day and age so if one of those meets a caretaker-type guy, fine. You're right. That is fine. I'm not going to stop them. But that doesn't mean the relationship is going to last or help them both grow in healthy directions. They're probably also eventually going to have a lot of fights and bickering about how she never does anything for herself, how he's always trying to control her, etc. That's why it's dysfunctional. The truth is that many more relationships are dysfunctional than are not. And I'm not perfect either. I've been in quite a few myself. The people in them just don't want to see it. If you want proof of that, just ask people whether their parents had a dysfunctional relationship. With about half of all marriages ending in divorce, I'd imagine the number would be larger than 50%. I'm not going to say a dysfunctional relationship works just because both unhealthy people seem to find a way to get something out of it Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by SoftDrink i never said anything about either of us being superior of the other in my relationship now or the past one with an older man . if you're going to judge a relationship, it's helps to know a little more about the situation and the people involved...or read they type. And I said specifically that I don't know what type of relationship you have or had. Perhaps you should follow your own advice about reading what others type. I described a type of relationship that is unhealhty, and if you feel like it applies to yours, then I'm sorry for you. Since you don't read well, in case you missed it the first two times, I'm not talking about all relationships with an age difference. I'm talking specifically about those where one is the 'teacher' and one is the 'student'. By definition, the person in the 'teacher' role is superior. I don't know if you have that kind of relationship, and I never claimed I did. Nor did I place any judgement on your specific situation. You brought that in all on your own. i know you keep pushing the "abusive realtionship" analogy, and it's just not a good one. abusive realtionships do NOT work. they are dysfunctional and someone is getting hurt. Physical pain is not the only way of harming someone. old guy, I'm not suggesting that you're a bad person for looking for younger women or even that any relationship with one would be a mistake. I just think that you should find one with a maturity level close to your own. The 'charm' of youth might be appealing for awhile, but sooner or later, you're going to get fed up with playing her daddy. Have you had any luck finding any younger ladies yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts