Jenbat1 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Well I'm. Hoping someone can pick my brain with this because I can't stop thinking about it. So I met this guy online and that night we went on an amazing date . He came back to my place and well stuff happened. He texted me saying he had a great night etc when he got home. I thought my curse in dating was over and I think I found a guy who likes me back. Well once a week he'd come over before hockey and we cuddle and talk about everything. And honestly sex was the last thing that happened. This went on 3 occasions. Well the next day last week I did a full fledge stage 4 creep and one.thing led to another and I think he has a gf. BUT it's so weird. The girlfriend has no pics of them together or of.him and doesn't even mention his name but posts videos of him playing hockey or saying watching babe play hockey. It's the damndest thing. Like they both have in a relationship but when she posted a happy 2 year anniversary one of her friends commented saying wow 2 years already and we haven't met the guy . So last night he comes over and I work it . I looked fine as hell and act like I know nothing. Well I knew he was feeling it for sure and he said he'll come over tonight even though he doesn't have a reason to come to town (he's a half hrs away but here twice a week for hockey) so I'm like in my head o I got you bad now . I want him. So bad but if he is seriously in a relationship I know what I'm doing is so wrong but feels so right. So question is ... does it ever work out being a chic on the side and turn it into a main ? If he really is with her . O forgot to mention ... apparently he's a repeat offender but she's stupid enough to stay with him. According to some of.her posts on Twitter. So yes if anything happens so he'll never change probably but I can't get him out.of my mind . Link to post Share on other sites
SeenNotHeard Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 All I can offer is you are in for a whole world of hurt if you continue. He doesn't seem to be elevating the relationship progression and that should confirm how he views you and how he views his real relationship. Leave him to be her problem, move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Well, if he's a serial cheat and they stay together than you're either just a bump in the road, or the next girlfriend of a serial cheat. Neither are great options. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Sure sometimes it works out and you can be is "main" and he will most likely fill your old position with another "side". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) First, you don't really want to be the woman who breaks up a relationship. Second, you may well become the main, but don't be surprised when sooner or later, he has another woman on the side... If he will do it with you, he will do it to you. Proceed at your own risk... and don't say that you were not warned. Edited March 2, 2017 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Are you seriously okay with being a side chick? Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) So yes if anything happens so he'll never change probably but I can't get him out.of my mind . Just because you can't get someone out of your mind doesn't mean you should be with him. Trust me and the other xOW on this site. I can't keep the xMM I fell in love with over the summer out of my mind. Does that mean I should I be with someone's else husband? Clearly not. The answer is to get this guy out of your mind, not to get him into your life. As others have said, you are in for a world of pain if you continue down this path. Especially with a serial cheat. Those guys don't give a sh*t about anyone but themselves. Edited March 2, 2017 by FoundMyStrength edit 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 I'm a guy, but in my opinion, it's better to be the side check. If you're looking for marriage, find a nice guy, but if you're looking for life to be sweet, be the side chick ... of two or three guys. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 You are one of them in his harem... let that sink in. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 You are one of them in his harem... let that sink in. Bingo. OP, you are very likely not the only girl (aside from his girlfriend) that he is having sex with. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the term "puck bunny" but it sounds like this guy is the type of hockey player who would be very well-acquainted with the notion and indulges quite freely. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Think about what you wrote here: O forgot to mention ... apparently he's a repeat offender but she's stupid enough to stay with him. "She" is stupid for staying with him? What does that say about what you think of yourself? Are you not stupid for wanting him? You are actively pursuing a guy that you know is a cheater and liar. What do you think of yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I have posted this before. Veteran readers here can skip to the next post! Here is your homework. It involves reading and math. Pick any 10 OW threads. Read them. Keep score on how many turn out favorably for the OW. If this doesn't cause you to answer your own question, repeat the exercise on another 10 OW threads. If after this you can't answer your own question based on the near-universal experience of others, I don't think you'll figure it out until you start posting some time in the near future about how bad it is to be the unloved OW. I'm not trying to be harsh. But you aren't the first who was initially thrilled by the attention. And ego kibbles. Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) Welcome to LS. Feels so right? Those are hormones talking. If you find it difficult to get him out of your head now, wait until you invest months or years of your time, energy, etc. into this...especially when you realize all that investment led to a big fat nothing with him, and when you look back you'll realize it likely meant nothing to him, he didn't value it, he enjoyed the moment, and left you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart without him. You are one of the lucky few to find this forum and get advice so early on. When I was one month in, I thought my xMM was the love of my life who I'd been seeking for decades (I don't easily settle down but thought this time was it!). Now, after a year long affair and five months into NC, there are very few things I can be sure of: he's a liar, deceiver, manipulator, he lacks concern for my feelings/well-being or he would have reached out at some point but nada....oh and he's still married! The advice on this forum is your "get-out-of-jail-free card." Use it and don't be foolish! All the best! Edited March 3, 2017 by HadMeOverABarrel spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts