How do I get over my resentment of my husband's vacations without me?

[camillalev]

He's also using your money to fund these vacations without you?? As in he wouldnt be able to afford them without your income? Wow.

[lilypad10]

This should have been a red flag to you if you wanted a lot of together time with him because by his statement that wasn't going to happen. Did he go away with friends when you were dating?

 

He didn't. This wasn't an issue before we got married.

[angel.eyes]

So, if I understand your posts correctly, once he locked you down, and secured his lifestyle with your earnings, he basically took off with his friends whenever he felt like it. His compromise so far, has been to inform you when he goes on these trips...and most recently, to agree to one short trip with you that you have to plan and he's made clear he's not enthused to take with you.

 

You're a glorified ATM. Sadly, it's not a marriage, it's a sham. I would have the marriage annulled.

 

Don't say anything to him just yet. Carry on as if nothing has changed. Find a good divorce attorney and get your ducks completely in a row. Unfortunately he seems like the type to hit you up for alimony to fund his ski trips and other shenanigans well into the next decade.

 

Were there no red flags when you were dating? What does he do that he earns a third of what you do and has all this free time to plan and take so many vacation trips?

[angel.eyes]

Could be, I suppose. I do know that all of the girls on the trip that he's on right now brought their boyfriends.

And yet you were uninvited!

[olivetree]

So, if I understand your posts correctly, once he locked you down, and secured his lifestyle with your earnings, he basically took off with his friends whenever he felt like it. His compromise so far, has been to inform you when he goes on these trips...and most recently, to agree to one short trip with you that you have to plan and he's made clear he's not enthused to take with you.

 

You're a glorified ATM. Sadly, it's not a marriage, it's a sham. I would have the marriage annulled.

 

Don't say anything to him just yet. Carry on as if nothing has changed. Find a good divorce attorney and get your ducks completely in a row. Unfortunately he seems like the type to hit you up for alimony to fund his ski trips and other shenanigans well into the next decade.

 

This.

OP, I don't envy your position.

He isn't interested in having a real relationship with you.

Someone that truly loves you wants to spend time with you.

He didn't take all these trips before you were married because you likely wouldn't have stayed, plus he can't depend on your income when you're just dating.

He enjoys the lifestyle you provide him and he throws you a bone here and there so that his lifestyle will continue.

 

He is incredibly selfish, and so you can expect that he is probably cheating on these trips as well.

 

I bet if he knew you were thinking of leaving, he'd give some excuse like that he is just afraid of being held back like he was in his last marriage - which I hope you don't buy into for one second.

From where I stand, his story is a twisted version of the truth that paints him as a victim.

 

Take that promotion and move onward and upward, girl!

You deserve real love.