jdaniel Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I am 23 YO and looking for serious relationship. Though i have a lot of interests and i am above average guy . Girls stopped looking at me. Like I am invisible. What do girls at my age are looking for in a guy ? How can i be more attractive ( not by looks) to girls? Please feel free to ask more questions about me if you want. I really need your help. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 To be interesting, you need to do interesting things and expand your knowledge and world. Diversify. Find new interests and be active in them. Also read a variety of things so you have some knowledge beyond what you can look up on Google. Travel to new places, experience different cultures. Personality is most important, behind looks. And looks are important mainly in that you need to not expect to date a woman much better looking than you. Your best luck will be with those of your own attractiveness level. A great personality can take you up a notch, and this means being entertaining. Just being a low key nice guy isn't going to attract people from afar. If you are able to entertain friends with your personality so people want to be around you, usually that will also translate to being seen as fun by women. So broaden your bases and try to be fun and entertaining. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jdaniel Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) It is easy to say but very difficult to do. i am a college student, i work a part time job and don't have much time and money to travel abroad, experience new cultures It is a good idea on the paper but i am not looking a national geographic fan girl. Other then that i read a lot of books, Paulo Coelho, Stephen King, Den brown, Gabriel garcia marcus etc.. I love studying physics, and explore the world we live in. I listen to a lot of Music ( not justin bieber ...) The question is how do i change my personality. What do i do to be more "fun at parties" ? Ps. i am not looking for slogans . but for help and solution. Edited March 3, 2017 by jdaniel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 The most vague, basic way is simply to go out and do things that will give you funny/interesting stories, and then remember the most unique/unusual/funny moments in those moments. Meet people who have done the same. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 It is easy to say but very difficult to do. i am a college student, i work a part time job and don't have much time and money to travel abroad, experience new cultures It is a good idea on the paper but i am not looking a national geographic fan girl. Other then that i read a lot of books, Paulo Coelho, Stephen King, Den brown, Gabriel garcia marcus etc.. I love studying physics, and explore the world we live in. I listen to a lot of Music ( not justin bieber ...) The question is how do i change my personality. What do i do to be more "fun at parties" ? Ps. i am not looking for slogans . but for help and solution. Being poor doesn't keep you from diversifying especially in college. That's the time of greatest expansion for a lot of people. You will have travel opportunities if you have good friends. One will take you home for Thanksgiving or something. The more diverse you are in knowledge and activities you do, the more you will have to talk about. If you only do one thing, then you only have one thing to talk about. Glad you're a reader. That and music in my younger days were always the conversation starters and you could really bond with someone just from talking about that, then lending books and music, etc. I can't wave a wand and make you sparkle in public, but if you just observe people in a bar or at a party or in the cafeteria, watch who has people that seem to gravitate to them. Lots of times it's some person who seems full of energy and is talking and laughing a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 It is easy to say but very difficult to do. i am a college student, i work a part time job and don't have much time and money to travel abroad, experience new cultures It is a good idea on the paper but i am not looking a national geographic fan girl. Other then that i read a lot of books, Paulo Coelho, Stephen King, Den brown, Gabriel garcia marcus etc.. I love studying physics, and explore the world we live in. I listen to a lot of Music ( not justin bieber ...) The question is how do i change my personality. What do i do to be more "fun at parties" ? Ps. i am not looking for slogans . but for help and solution. It says in your previous posts you had a girlfriend last December... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) Drive a Ferrari... Kidding... But perusing your bio, it seems like you are a dud..(sorry)...Most girls your age want to have fun, not ponder the existence of the universe.. I don't say fake it, you are who you are and you should own that..but you are probably gonna do poorly until you get a bit older, when women aren't as flighty.. TFY Edited March 4, 2017 by thefooloftheyear 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Drive a Ferrari... Kidding... But perusing your bio, it seems like you are a dud..(sorry)...Most girls your age want to have fun, not ponder the existence of the universe.. I don't say fake it, you are who you are and you should own that..but you are probably gonna do poorly until you get a bit older, when women aren't as flighty.. TFY Aston Martin.... Bond`s car. Can`t fail. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Here is my advice. 23 to settle down is way to young. I really think that most people should not get married or have kids until they are around 28. Thats 10 yrs in the real world after high school. Maybe even 30. You want to be interesting. I would just find some hobbies and indudge in that plus recreational activities like Martial Arts or learning how to play an instrument/Paint. Be well dressed and groomed at all times and give yourself a break from trying to make things happen with women. I just think that the person that waited till they were 28/30 +. Is well rounded and won't have angst and are able to problem solve better and not run off their emotions. There has to be some time in your life where you have no major responsibilities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Relax, try and keep a positive mindset and don't take yourself too seriously. Works at any age. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I am 23 YO and looking for serious relationship. Try looking for something fun. Most people at that age are not looking for anything too serious. And even serious relationships usually start with something fun. Though i have a lot of interests and i am above average guy . Girls stopped looking at me. Like I am invisible. Do you have a true passion, something that you burn for? If you do things just in order to get to know people or meet girls it shows in a bad way. What drives you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I say having your own hobbies and interests that don't depend on being with a women. Is the best way t go. Also. I think that you will need to meditate and try to focus away from women. Its like they like the guy that is slightly aloof and they are the ones that have to bag him so to speak. Than the guy that is up front and spills his feelings towards her. Unless she is over 50. Somehow. The 50 + women are a lot more chill and want the upfrontness. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Its about being fun, fun and more fun. People want to spend time with people they are comfortable with, people who they enjoy spending time with. People who make life easy. Aloofness and distance can work to attract women if you are amazingly good looking, but only women who are somehow "wounded" will stick around with "cold" or aggressive guys or guys with any other "bad" traits. If you want relationships with healthy women then you need to present a healthy uncomplicated front and be able to back that up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Its about being fun, fun and more fun. People want to spend time with people they are comfortable with, people who they enjoy spending time with. People who make life easy. Aloofness and distance can work to attract women if you are amazingly good looking, but only women who are somehow "wounded" will stick around with "cold" or aggressive guys or guys with any other "bad" traits. If you want relationships with healthy women then you need to present a healthy uncomplicated front and be able to back that up. People are different. Some people are very energetic and some people are very laidback. Somebody posted before about trying to ape/copy popular people who are always talking, laughing, energetic. There are people in my office who are very much like that and I think they are a bit annoying. They always take up the floor, and a lot of times don't allow others to talk. There's also guys in my office that never talk unless talked to. But I've been one on one with them on jobs and they have their own sense of humor and interesting stories. Believe it or not, more of the quiet, low key guys in my office are married than the really energetic, always playing office jokes guys. I am much more comfortable around laid-back people. However, as I get older, I definitely try and accept all personalities. If somebody is crazy, zany, in your face, yea that's not my cup of tea, but I humor them as best as I can. I have rarely, rarely ever met somebody so boring and antisocial that they had IMO nothing to offer a conversation or woman. Which implies that I have ... and I have, but like I said it's rare, and they've never complained about not having a woman, so I have no advice to offer to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Its better to be a mix of in between. People think its strange when I don't talk and i am low key sometimes. The loud person is always annoying. One again. I feel like a lot of us should just concentrate on other things in our lives. Our Love lives will come when the universe wants it to. When I look at my friends in current relationships. A lot of them that came together. It was the women that basically crash landed on their shore. My guy friends did nothing. One has to decide on the male side. At what point do you ask someone out vs wasting your time. For me. I think the best thing is to only ask out a woman that is giving me signs. Like talking to me and engaging me in a lot of smiling, eye contact and stating they are single some how. Other than that. Its a waste of time. I have female friends if I want a perspective on how a female views the world. I call them. i have about 6 of them. Sometimes I think the world is harping a lot of us to be mated off when its not possible. There are too many variables. At 45. May be its better for me to meet a woman who is going to be free when we are both 47 and 42 and right now for us to meet, would not be good at the moment. What if we are each others best match. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Be kind, generous, polite and respectful, but fun at the same time. It is important to be well-groomed. I know a lot of guys think this is unnecessary but women actually like guys who take care of themselves and look tidy. No bushy beards with bits in. No overwhelming moustaches. Nice aftershave and deodorant, clean hair and body, brushed teeth, fresh smelling, nice haircut. Clean and tidy clothes. None of the above needs to be expensive or particularly fashionable but it gives the immediate impression that if you get close to this guy, he is going to smell nice and be nice to be near. You would be surprised how many guys put women off by being unkempt. Speak to the women you meet. Say hello. Ask them how they are. Ask them if they are having a good evening. Get them a chair. All these things are charming. A lot of guys don't bother. They think if they are brash and 'manly', women will fall for their charms. Not so. The leader of the gang has got to look like a leader. A leader always takes care of women and children but can stand up to other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 BIt is important to be well-groomed. I know a lot of guys think this is unnecessary but women actually like guys who take care of themselves and look tidy. No bushy beards with bits in. No overwhelming moustaches. Nice aftershave and deodorant, clean hair and body, brushed teeth, fresh smelling, nice haircut. Clean and tidy clothes. THIS. No one should have to change their personality to find love. Sure, being more outgoing will increase your chances at meeting someone, but in the end, you are who you are. Unless there is something about yourself that YOU don’t like – then work on that – but if you like who you are, don’t try to change your personality. GROOMING! Men, seriously, want to stand out? Be impeccably groomed, and wear something that is a bit stylish, and more importantly shows off your frame. Women have long known this, and it is expected of us. Want attention? Clean yourself up, and put on something cute. In this new age of gender equality, I think the same is very much true for men. Figure out what sort of haircut and facial hair looks best on you, and then keep it up. At your age, she isn’t looking for a bread winner, she is looking for someone who catches her eye and is fun to be with. I ride a train with a couple thousand other people every day. I love quietly observing the interactions of strangers. You know what guys get “looks” from other women? The well dressed, well-groomed ones. It’s a way to set yourself apart from the crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 What type of girls are you seeking to attract? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 I am 23 YO and looking for serious relationship. Though i have a lot of interests and i am above average guy . Girls stopped looking at me. Like I am invisible. What do girls at my age are looking for in a guy ? How can i be more attractive ( not by looks) to girls? Please feel free to ask more questions about me if you want. I really need your help. Guess what your biggest mistake in your whole statement was.... Being invisible. Women see and record everything times 12. Trust me... they see you. Link to post Share on other sites
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