Azrae Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Hello LS coomunity. I am a first time poster but a regural reader. Well let me give you a little background about me. I am an 28 year old female from Eastern Europe (the Balkans). I am educated, i work but i still live with my parents because that is the norm here, i have numerous friends, i am good looking & fit but the thing is i never had luck in rltshs. I have beeen in three rltsh in total, the first lasted 6 months, the 2nd two and a half on-off and the third which ended two years ago lasted ayear and a half. Since then i did not meet anybody special until November when i met this guy whom i liked a lot but who was lukewarm about me, one day hot and the other cold so i had to cut him off last week and im not going to text him though im so tempted :rolleyes:Nonetheless, now about my main concern. A cousin of mine said she wants to to arrange a marriage of me with a friend of hers who lives in Canada,she has talked to him and his family and they are looking for somebody like me i.e. English speaking and educated (I know, i know, the 21 ct and this still happens here). I have always been against arranged marriages so my first thought was to say no but then i thought im 28 and never had luck in love, he lives in Canda so why not? I told my cousin i must talk to him face to face first, but i knew i cannot decide after one meeting ( yeah jus 1 meting- thats how much is allowed in arranged marriages) so i added him on fb. He never accepted my request!!! WTF!! He probably wants to come, meet and probably thinks i have already agreed and i cant wait for it to happen! Now i got myself into a mess!! My family expects from me to agree, though they will not push me for it, but i know they would be happy if i did; however i dont want to, i cant do it, i dont even like his physical appearance that much (i mean he is very good looking, just not my type. So, LS is there still any chance for me to find true love or should i close my eyes and settle? Please respond, im going crazy, i have to grieve the loss of that November boy i liked so much and plus i have to worry over this i will appreaciate any insight !! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 You shouldn't marry anyone you don't know. They could be someone who no one else would pick that they're just trying to unload. But yes, if you can afford it, meet her, but with the express understanding that this is a date, not an engagement. If you like each other (not sure you will know if she likes you or is just going along with it) then see her some more. Don't just marry her. That's barbaric, especially for a woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Just because something is customary and others expect it of you is no reason to commit your life to someone. That is what marriage is, a huge commitment. Yes, why not meet the guy and see what he is like, but you will need time to get to know him and not leap into marriage until you are happy he is the one for you. I see no problem with arranged marriages if that is what both parties want and the couple are choosing it for themselves, not their relatives, but love and compatibility is still important. At the very least, you need to spend a few months with this guy to find out his true colours; that is the point of dating. If he is abusive, you will find out in that time and avoid a terrible mistake. It is really important that you get to know the guy and eventually love him. It is not fair to you to tie yourself to someone you do not love and it is not fair to him either. You both deserve happiness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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