Language barrier

[mikeylo]

The inter racial thread got me thinking. Has anyone here dated someone or in relationship with someone who doesn't speak the same language? Well, do speak same as a secondary language but their mother tongue is different ? How does that work? Or everyone sticks to their own?

 

I guess it will be hilarious if they do speak let's say English but also something different that the other doesn't understand and you can swear at them with a smiling face and they wouldn't know :laugh:

[SoulCat]

I'm Dutch and both my ex husband and current partner are British. I've lived in the UK for most of my adult life so I really only ever speak English. In fact, my ability to speak Dutch is getting a bit rusty as I barely ever speak in my mother tongue anymore.

 

The only time I speak Dutch is to tell off my cats sometimes, and it always makes my partner laugh. He thinks the way the Dutch pronounce the letter 'g' is hilarious.

[Haydn]

My better half`s first language is not English. But i learnt her language, so all`s good.

[Haydn]

I'm Dutch and both my ex husband and current partner are British. I've lived in the UK for most of my adult life so I really only ever speak English. In fact, my ability to speak Dutch is getting a bit rusty as I barely ever speak in my mother tongue anymore.

 

The only time I speak Dutch is to tell off my cats sometimes, and it always makes my partner laugh. He thinks the way the Dutch pronounce the letter 'g' is hilarious.

 

 

[PrettyEmily77]

I guess it will be hilarious if they do speak let's say English but also something different that the other doesn't understand and you can swear at them with a smiling face and they wouldn't know :laugh:

 

I'm bilingual (English-French) and I've been known to do the above on occasion with the men in my life (all in good fun), with unexpected results... Turns out most guys quite like it

 

Until one of them used Google Translate, that is...

[mikeylo]

My better half`s first language is not English. But i learnt her language, so all`s good.

 

How did you connect before learning her language? How did you even get together ? Curious

[Haydn]

I had a good smattering of the language before we met. (Long story) I was well on the way to speaking it fluently. When we met. We met in the UK.

 

Obviously she was impressed with my use of `idioms` in her language and vice versa.

 

And we are not talking about, `Raining cats and dogs`

[Shanex]

A Japanese woman once seemed interested in me. Unfortunately she couldn't speak English and I didn't know one bit of Japanese so it stopped at that.

 

Otherwise and luckily most other foreign women I've known all knew basic English, but it was rarely relationship mostly encounters and maybe a kiss here and there.

[Haydn]

A Japanese woman once seemed interested in me. Unfortunately she couldn't speak English and I didn't know one bit of Japanese so it stopped at that.

 

Otherwise and luckily most other foreign women I've known all knew basic English, but it was rarely relationship mostly encounters and maybe a kiss here and there.

 

Did you at least `bow` Shanex?

[Shanex]

I'm bilingual (English-French) and I've been known to do the above on occasion with the men in my life (all in good fun), with unexpected results... Turns out most guys quite like it

 

Until one of them used Google Translate, that is...

 

'Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir' Is pretty much all that the Anglo-Saxon have gathered when it comes to speaking French. Gotta say, it can help.

[Shanex]

Did you at least `bow` Shanex?

 

I've been really polite throughout but the language barrier and our communication difficulties made it impossible. Didn't want to drop a bollock and kiss her out of the blue. I didn't bow, no. But shaked hands (she didn't take offense)

[Chilli]

l'm Australian but she's Italian but also speaks good English and living in America 18yrs. And just to confuse things she also speaks fluent Spanish.

So now she basically has 4 lingo's spinning about in that Italian head of hers.

And it becomes not only about the lingos but the customs and 4 different ways of using basically the same term , all jumbled in .

 

And l can tell ya , add her hot Italian temper and man , yeah some funny , some mind boggling until we figure it out but some also causing fights because she totally misunderstood.

[SoulCat]

 

So now she basically has 4 lingo's spinning about in that Italian head of hers.

And it becomes not only about the lingos but the customs and 4 different ways of using basically the same term , all jumbled in .

 

Not easy really. I speak 5 languages but having a few mingled together makes my brain scream...

I remember one instance where my British husband, my dad and I were visiting my nan who spoke only a smidgen of English. Also there were my uncle and niece, they are French.

I was trying my very best to hold the conversation in Dutch and French while trying to translate to my husband....

 

I thought my brain was going to short-circuit. English words were inserted in Dutch and French sentences, French and English words were Dutch-yfied, Dutch/French/English words got confused or misplaced...

 

I knew right there and then a career as a translator was not on the books for me....

[mikeylo]

Not easy really. I speak 5 languages but having a few mingled together makes my brain scream...

I remember one instance where my British husband, my dad and I were visiting my nan who spoke only a smidgen of English. Also there were my uncle and niece, they are French.

I was trying my very best to hold the conversation in Dutch and French while trying to translate to my husband....

 

I thought my brain was going to short-circuit. English words were inserted in Dutch and French sentences, French and English words were Dutch-yfied, Dutch/French/English words got confused or misplaced...

 

I knew right there and then a career as a translator was not on the books for me....

 

This would be such a hilarious sight !

[Chilli]

Ahh Cat l laughed at that one. Bet you were relieved to leave that night.

l often wondered how the brain could cope with so many languages in there.

Sometimes gf goes blank, and then says sorry babe that came through in Italian for a second, or Spanish or American- which is totally different to Australian too she says and so now she's also learning Australian

Poor thing.

[Els]

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on what someone's "mother tongue" is, to be honest. Some of the ESL folks I know have a better command of the English language than native Anglophones.

 

That being said, I do think that if a couple doesn't have a shared fluent language, it is going to be very, very difficult to communicate. But race doesn't really have much to do with that.

[carhill]

The inter racial thread got me thinking. Has anyone here dated someone or in relationship with someone who doesn't speak the same language?

Yes, I did, a few actually. My grasp of Russian was extremely poor and their English proficiency varied.

Well, do speak same as a secondary language but their mother tongue is different ? How does that work? Or everyone sticks to their own?

I had a wonderful interpreter for basic meet and greet and public stuff and we handled the private stuff more through other communication like body language, expressions, touch, teaching each other words, etc. IME, the process impelled a feeling of openness I hadn't experienced with women where words came easily.

 

I guess it will be hilarious if they do speak let's say English but also something different that the other doesn't understand and you can swear at them with a smiling face and they wouldn't know :laugh:

 

I noticed that misunderstandings were more prevalent but also that accepting and appreciating misunderstandings was also more prevalent. Humor, not wordsmith humor but rather physical humor, helped.

[ja123]

Dated/dating/lived with my long-distance boy-toy ... he's a native Arabic speaker, I'm a native English speaker, and we both speak French together ... as we're both fluent there's no problem and it helps that we're both curious about the other's native tongue.

[Shanex]

Dated/dating/lived with my long-distance boy-toy ... he's a native Arabic speaker, I'm a native English speaker, and we both speak French together ... as we're both fluent there's no problem and it helps that we're both curious about the other's native tongue.

 

Except for Northern Africa (Maghreb), it is hard to find Arabic speaker speaking French, those who can outside of Algeria, Tunisia and Morroco usually have a high education, no proletariat.

 

Don't know much of Arabic, despite having a few friends of that descent and heritage.. Salam aleikum, Choukran, but it's the least you need to learn if ever in an Arabic speaking country. People always appreciate.

[RecentChange]

In the multicultural bay area this is quite common.

 

I speak a smidge of Spanish (I swear those three years of Spanish courses did not pay off!), and have dated men who's first languages were Spanish, Portuguese, and Persian.

 

I suppose they could have talked mad s**** without me knowing, but they never did to my face at least

 

I know many couples where one only speaks English, and the other a native in something else. Out of our circle of friends Spanish, Russian, Hebrew, Italian, Hindi, Vietnamese and French come to mind.

 

In the long standing couples, usually the spouse has picked up a bit of the others native language.

[mikeylo]

we handled the private stuff more through other communication like body language, expressions, touch, teaching each other words, etc. IME, the process impelled a feeling of openness I hadn't experienced with women where words came easily.

 

This is interesting! While language can be a barrier but a couple can become more aware of non verbal communication among themselves and it can be as little as understanding each others feelings by just looking !

 

This makes sense when couples of different origins get and stick together ! My doctor speaks Hebrew but his wife speaks Italian. They both speak English as well. Since we go to some parties together, its interesting to watch their body language and expressions. I always noticed but never understood. It makes sense now

[MrDuck]

Nowadays I speak just about okay Spanish and a little Afrikaans, but yearss ago when I spoke solely English I casually dated a girl who spoke only spanish, she was a Tica, or Costa Rican.

She actually really helped me learn my first bits of spanish, i've never been a natural with languages. We actually managed to communicate petty well, and i enjoyed her company, but i'd be lying if I said our relationship was based on long talks about our feelings, it wasn't, it was mostly physical, but I do remember being in her company, she's chat in spanish, i'd chat in english, occasionally we'd say something the other could work out and then we'd get so excited

 

As a side note: My sons awesome with languages, he's 8 and he can speak spanish, afrikaans, Zulu & Italian!

I couldn't really read until i was 10, no one ever read to me when i was a kid and I so wanted more for him than what i had. But when he was born i was travelling and i didnt have any kids books so i used to read to him every night out of my Spanish-English phrase book!

[mikeylo]

yeah, for just sex you dont even need to speak ! When it comes to relationships, its an entirely different game.