Dating as we Age

[Mysterio]

So superficially. As we Age. Whats your expectation on yourself or the people you date in terms of looks.

 

Is balding alright or do you prefer the man to shave off his balding hair. What about grey on either sex. Do you prefer curves or do you like rail thin. Wrinkles allright as well. Teeth nice and straight. Would you put up with ear hair.

 

What makes us more or less attractive as we age and date.

 

For me. Grey hair on a woman, just desexualizes her from me. Unless your 80. I can't seeI am 45 by the way. I like short or long hair. I feel like both sexes should do their best to look well. Work out/Well groomed either way. I am getting less critical about weight. A few extra pounds is alright.

 

Some Hollywood stars are able to retain their sex appeal. Like Susan Sarrandon. Who is smoking hot to me way over her younger counter parts like Emma Stone/Taylor Swift etc.

 

Anyways just as you date looks wise. Are people keeping it together or do some have a lot of work to do as your dating and your expectations of yourself and who you date when it comes to the physical.

[preraph]

I found when I got old that I just wanted to be around people who were from my particular generation and subset because if not, they aren't about to "get" me and I likely wont "get" them.

 

When I was about 50, I went to Hollywood and visited the last bastion of the old-school rockers, The Rainbow, and I saw puhlenty of aging guys who still looked cool and who would appeal to me. But where I live, it's only the old gang and already been there and done that.

[S_A]

I'm 34, a guy, and can't wait to go all silver

 

All the older men in my family look great with silver hair, and in most cases, they look better now than they did 10-20 years ago. They've definitely aged better than their wives. So as far as I'm concerned, I'm probably gonna be a silver fox

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

I'm liking men who are at least a dad bod. Men who are constantly in the gym and come across as vain are a turn off. Silver or grey is hot. I'm not worried about bald or not, and race is unimportant.

 

I do like clean and hygienic, clean, short fingernails are a must and fresh breath.

[CptInsano]

I'm in my mid-40s and the changes are pretty profound.

 

- Easier contacts. It is much easier to talk to women, both because I have done it so much it just feels like second nature and is no big thing, and women talk to me much more than they used to. Both sides seem to have gotten over themselves and realized that having a chat is no big thing.

 

- Time is short. People in general seem busier. I can't just blow off some classes to hang out with a girl. It's harder to find time to get to know people better, and things are less spontaneous.

On the flip side, I have seen women make wedding plans after talking to them for three hours. The desire to have THE relationship fast seems to be very strong at times.

 

- Finding the right person becomes harder. People in their forties have accumulated a load of past experiences, and are at a point where they know what they will accomplish in life, or that they have been played badly, or that an education will or will not pay off.

In short, you will have to search harder to find somebody who will trust you and have a positive outlook on life.

[Lilyana76]

I am 40, and at this point looks mean very little to me. I have met some men that others would consider "not so hot" that had amazing attitudes and personalities which made them more attractive to me. I've also met men that are extremely good looking and had about as much personality as a fish...

 

I'm more into men that have their sh*t together, don't live at home with their parents, have a good job, are good with kids, not heavy drinkers, don't do drugs ect ect....

 

At my age, and going through a recent divorce, I seem to be going through a second teenage faze. I want to have fun, meet new people. I recently lost a lot of weight (60lbs) so I changed the way I dressed completely, and just last week I chopped my hair off and dyed it purple and blonde... My hair is now a conversation starter with more men it seems. I'm not the same person I was even a year ago. I'm more motivated now, and spent a long time getting my life together. I won't settle for anyone, but I do not focus on looks. I get to know a whole person before I make a decision if I want to keep them around in my life or not.

[Mysterio]

Physically. I think that people look better now a days. Both men and women. Even though my focus is women.

 

Personality. It feels like everybody is a bit more insular. To pick up the phone and call a friend is like chore for some people. Txt is the new phone. So is Facebook. For out of town friends. FB is good. In town. Give me a break.

 

So I think that most people should really concentrate on personality connection more than looks if possible.

[Titanll]

I am 41, retired military, shave my head and I am arguably fit. I have a much better time dating now than at any other time in my life. I consistently meet and date 20 somethings to 40 somethings. Most approach me but I will approach if I am interested and feel like there is some mutual attraction.

 

I don't consider myself shallow and I have no "type". Most all women are beautiful to me but the ages from 25 to 45 seem to be the sweet spot for me.

 

I honestly seem to get along with women in their 20s and 30s better than much older. There is often a bitterness in the older women that I know and that is a huge turnoff. I get it, some have been cheated on and divorced but I will only date someone with an emotionally healthy outlook.

 

Physically, I dated a 44 year old that was in amazing shape and a 34 year old that was not very fit at all but, in general, the younger women are in better shape...which my not be a surprise.

 

As far as my attractiveness to women, there seems to be no real age difference. With a shaved head, I do get the extreme ends of the attraction spectrum it seems. Women either love it or hate it. One thing that seems to be consistent is that the women that love it are obviously more to my liking because they view my head as masculine.

 

Buddies tell me that I should write a dating advice book because I am, seemingly, so lucky. I am no PUA. I strive for long term relationships, and have no desire for casual sex.

 

There is no real secret to successful dating: Be moderately attractive, emotionally open and available, interesting, healthy and reasonably fit. I think the most important thing that most guys that I know overlook are signs and signals that a woman is interested in them. I guess being a psychology major has its benefits, haha!

[carhill]

Being older, but not real old, IME it's pretty much the same. We meet people and something clicks, or not. What remains is whether or not we act on it. Not being driven by reproduction, things feel a bit different.

 

Then or now, you decide. Now was taken shortly prior to her 90th birthday a couple years ago. Honor is a great example of the women I often meet. She's been divorced for 42 years and states she prefers being single. I can only imagine the offers she's enjoyed over the past 42 years. That's how things change, or can.

[Mysterio]

The only way I could imagine being super happy being single would be that one had their relationships under their belt and have no need to have any type of physical affection at all.

 

That to me is mostly women. Men for the most part always want that physical affection factor in their lives.

[Gaeta]

I live in Montreal and here women of all ages take good care of themselves and are smoking hot at all ages. If you want to survive here you have no choice but to take care of yourself long term. I am 51 and you'll never be able to tell. My BF is from France and same thing. Fat does not exist over there. He's 49 and fit and takes pride in his appearance.

 

When I was growing up my mom would never set foot outside our home without her hair being perfect and her make up on. Not even to pick milk at the corner store. Being clean, trimmed, being dressed properly and having good manners was taught to us from a young age.

 

I would not be able to date a man that drinks beer, eat pizza, wear same clothes each day and just don't give a heck about what he looks like.

 

Take any man, clean him, trim him, put some decent clothes on him and he will look good. Whether you have a small belly or are losing your hair is irrelevant, what's relevant is that you do the best you can with what you have.

[BluEyeL]

I started dating again after divorce, at 41, now I'm 45. I did not put an emphasis on looks, it was dead last on my list. Hair, it's a bit much to ask, most men lose some... Overall, I prefer bigger men rather than rail thin, but I've dated all.

 

Thinner fit me least because I'm a size 12 US, which is not obese, but not thin either and thin men make me feel too big,. But if we hit it off otherwise, it would have been fine.

 

Since I was dating for a serious relationship/life partnership, I knew that the looks thing is the least important attribute on the long term. I had a long list of other things I cared about a lot, most related to personality and character, as well as strong interest in me and consistency, similar goals in dating. I wanted someone calm (no yellers and tantrums throwers) and emotionally stable, someone who keeps their promises and is honest, someone with strong morals and loyal, someone intelligent and ambitious, someone with career aspirations and with an established career for himself, someone kind (number one on the list in fact) and who treats others well, someone who has long term friends etc.

 

For in the meantime/casual only dating I cared about looks only. In addition to not being a mass murderer.

[The_Dork_Lard]

I'm 38 and male, and superficially speaking, my expectations of those who I would date are fairly high. I take a pride in my appearance and groom myself well. Though I often wear casual clothing, I often work overtime and spend the money on tailor made clothes and handmade shoes, which I always wear when going out to dinner, theatre, and occasionally even to pick up milk. I appreciate effort in others, and others can always expect that of me. I believe this relates to respect - respect for oneself, and for others. On the other hand, those who I have fallen in love with have often been scruffy or classless, and I always overlooked this because I loved them, and were attracted to other physical aspects, such as their eyes, smiles, faces, etc. It's funny how one can compromise their standards when other factors shine through.

 

 

Biologically, I love grey hairs and facial lines on women. This is because I perceive them as markers of maturity. This shows the women have confidence not to conceal them, and to accept age, mortality, and death as facts of life. That inner strength is incredibly sexy to me. There is nothing quite so ageing and tragic as a facelift, and I would probably not date a woman who has had such surgery. However, there is one boundary I will definitely not cross, and that is obesity. Voluptuousness is as attractive to me as slender, but obesity is out of the question, for any type of sexual or romantic relation.

Edited March 9, 2017 by The_Dork_Lard

[Jj66]

I make allowances for a woman's age (wrinkles being an obvious one) but not poor lifestyle or hygiene choices. Apparently, I look good for my age. Mostly genetic lottery. I'm very active but I don't work at looking good. Although, I'm thinking I should work a little more on my weight, I could use to lose a few.

 

I met a man at a bar recently. The man next to me was my age. He wasnt bad looking in the main, but looked much older and less well kept. He was talking to a woman and obviously interested in her. I made some jokes and they both laughed. He leaned over to me and whispered, you don't want this one. She's trouble. And then as he was leaving for an appointmrny he reiterated how I shouldn't get involved with her. The thing is, I had ZERO interest in the woman he was chatting. It seems he just assumed that I was some sort of player ready to take her from him (because I was personable and better looking than him?)

[CptInsano]

I met a man at a bar recently. The man next to me was my age. He wasnt bad looking in the main, but looked much older and less well kept. He was talking to a woman and obviously interested in her. I made some jokes and they both laughed. He leaned over to me and whispered, you don't want this one. She's trouble. And then as he was leaving for an appointmrny he reiterated how I shouldn't get involved with her. The thing is, I had ZERO interest in the woman he was chatting. It seems he just assumed that I was some sort of player ready to take her from him (because I was personable and better looking than him?)

 

No, that's just a "bar dynamic". People assume you are there to pick up women, even if you are just there to socialize. He probably was looking for somebody in a non-selective manner, and assumed you were doing the same. That statement says more about him than you, IMHO.

[CloudyHead]

48 female here . . . I don't focus much on looks but there are physical attributes that I do find attractive such as beards. Beards are a huge turn on for me. Otherwise, a man's physical appearance is acceptable as long as he is clean and has his teeth (you encounter all types when dating).

 

After a marriage and a long term relationship with men much older than me, I decided to only go out with men younger than me (one was twenty years younger). Younger men were fun to date and I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. The drawback to younger men is that they stay on their phones all the time, like TV too much and like staying up late and sleeping in late. That lifestyle doesn't work well with my lifestyle.

 

Now, I'm seeing someone who is three years younger, bearded, has a dad body and is trying to get into shape. He has gray hair mixed with black hair. He has a great sense of humor and personality.

 

At the end of the day, I want to be with someone who is funny, can carry on a conversation, is calm and engaged in what we are doing. I don't care how good looking a man is, if he has no sense of humor or is easily distracted by shiny objects, then I am not interested.

[Mysterio]

I like a woman that takes care of herself and is well groomed. I find the women looks great. I just don't really find that warmth as much.

[Popsicle]

I guess I'm the only women in her 40's here who wants a man who looks good. Oh well, I guess I'm superficial, I don't care. I want him fit, cute face, conservative and a good personality. I don't care about wrinkles or grey hair, but I'll be honest, I'm not too attracted to balding, but I'll compromise on that if he has everything else (and finding everything else is already hard). I'd rather him be around by age, but I'll go outside of my age range in a heartbeat if he shows up.

 

If I don't find him, I'm okay with being single. I've already been married and had kids so I'm not freaking out about that.

[Mysterio]

Popsicle. When you say balding. Do you mean you rather if he is balding shave his hair off or don't like the Bald look at all.

 

So would that mean you rather have a Clean Bald Bruce Willis as opposed to a Balding Jason Statham.

[Gaeta]

 

So would that mean you rather have a Clean Bald Bruce Willis as opposed to a Balding Jason Statham.

 

100% women prefer a shaved head like Bruce Willis than a guy being bald on top and keeping it longer on the sides. I don't know what it will take for men to understand this. When they start thinning on top they are holding on to their hair on the side and it's so unattractive.

 

I remember my brother in law 36 started losing his hair on top. We were 5 WOMEN telling him to shave his head he'd be much more attractive. He resisted us till his knuckles got blue. Finally he shaved his head and instantly he went from a balding guy to a hot guy.

[Popsicle]

Popsicle. When you say balding. Do you mean you rather if he is balding shave his hair off or don't like the Bald look at all.

 

So would that mean you rather have a Clean Bald Bruce Willis as opposed to a Balding Jason Statham.

 

It depends on the guy. Some look better with a shaved head and some look better with partial hair. I'm not a big fan of the completely shaved head in combo with the goatee (a look men seem to love for some reason). It looks funny to me. A face with no hair on top and then a bush on the bottom. Totally unnatural looking and just reminds me that he's balding.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Popsicle

[todreaminblue]

i never minded bald...i dont date guys for their hair....i do like black hair only because it reminds me of my grandfather......i have dated a few guys with no hair ...doesnt bother me....i think men look quite distinguished with no hair.....virile....actually.a lot of athletes shave their heads...to em a man who can rock a bald head.....they are saying .this is me....take me as i am ....

 

i just want a guy who will treat me right.....who will stay true to what he says he believes in....everything else is bonus....and can be compromised on...i am however nto a mohawk hairstlye lover or man bun....i wear buns i dotn want my bun to be competition....

.i would have a problem with a guy who wore a toupee...not a fan....i would make him feel sexy without it the same goes for height enhancing foot wear..waste of money........women wear high heels...so guys dont have too.

 

i think a lot of men in my age group have been hurt before and are cautious or just wanting to bonk with no ties.....maybe that goes for women too....thats why guys are so cautious and only want to bonk...i dont know its circular thinking and gives me a headache........bald head guys rock....peace out.......deb..

Edited March 10, 2017 by todreaminblue

[Shanex]

I'm mid 30s and, while this is still young I have the same expectations I have always had.

 

I'm not looking for a model, who are hard to serenade anyways, I don't mind a slightly chubby woman (not overweight or fat) I like some curves. You know like this dumb song that went viral (''I'm all about that bass'').

 

Ladies don't get bald, good. Me neither, I have full hair and my own teeth. Some Grey hair and in my beard too, but here goes the mature looks that comes with aging.

 

I like that she take good care of her, brush her teeth twice a day, shower every morning, bad breath is a turn off, a chain smoker too. Nevermind a junkie or an alcoholic.

 

I love piercing and tattoos, which I find very erotic, more and more ladies are getting their nipples pierced and I like that. Nipples or elsewhere on their bodies.

 

As long as she has her own place and car, I don't care if she's a high-school dropout scrubbing toilets. I have no demand when it comes to the ladies profession because I am neither a lawyer or doctor.