Bromeo Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I think your ex is a narc jut like mine was. All that push-pull is a control thing. They attempt to control people because that is essential to allow them to keep hold of their image of their own life. Once you hold NC for a sufficient amount of time, you force her to re-assess that image. In fact, you totally undermine that image and force her to face the truth. Now narcs don't like that. So much so, she will eventually disengage with you because she would rather continue living inside the fake image as opposed to confront it head on. So yes, with NC, she will eventually disappear for good but you will be one of very few people in her life who she will be legitimately scared to confront because she doesn't want to see the real her in the mirror. At this point, all you can be is her teacher and the one man who walked out of her life (that being the image of her life that exists in her mind). Once day when her looks go south and other problems in her life become simply over whelming. Guess who she will think about? YOU I had never considered this in my own tragedy. It's amazing how other perspectives can help clear my own. I thought of mine as bpd on steroids, but will do some further research. Human, I'm about 3 months further along than you. Mine was still sending emails late January after disappearing and dumping me in July. I still miss her, but I absolutely DO NOT miss the almost feverish feeling of my emotions being out of control due to frustration and grief. Remember how you feel right now, and let it power you through to indifference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HumanMachine Posted March 20, 2017 Author Share Posted March 20, 2017 I'm in an odd place right now. I have received further messages from her. Reading this thread from start to now is pretty crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Well said, marky00. Thanks for posting. I still miss her, but I absolutely DO NOT miss the almost feverish feeling of my emotions being out of control due to frustration and grief. That is totally relatable. HumanMachine, please man, stop the contact. Even it it's just reading her messages, I think you're in danger of going on another roller-coaster ride. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HumanMachine Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 Two weeks ago she had her implant renewed, we've had sex twice since. We're both in our early 20's and enjoyed a good sex life until recent times, now I feel like we're in a platonic relationship.. She'll happily tease me by sleeping naked, walking around in her underwear, talking dirty whenever we're out, text me what she wants me to do to her later.. but when it comes to me initating anything sexual I get shut down. When we used to have sex she'd always tell me nobody has ever made her orgasm like I have, plus I make her squirt which she had never experienced before, so I'd like to think that my sexual ability isn't the issue. This is all new to me, my past relationships were sex filled (average of 3 times a day) so I'm really not sure what to do. I love spending time with this girl, she's gorgeous, funny and most importantly not boring, I think we have a great connection, but a poor sex life is not something I can compromise.. Any thoughts would be appreciated.. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Is this the same girl from your previous thread? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 You shouldn't be talking to us....you should be talking to her about it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 She figured out you are talking to you ex. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Would having her implant removed affect her sex drive due to a hormonal change? How exactly does she shut you down? Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 She figured out you are talking to you ex. Ahhh...I went back and read that thread. How long have you been dating this girl and does she know you are still in love with your ex? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Ahhh...I went back and read that thread. How long have you been dating this girl and does she know you are still in love with your ex? More to the point, does she know he met up with the ex five or six times? And that he slept in yet ANOTHER woman's bed recently? Stop messing with this one. Let her GO. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HumanMachine Posted March 27, 2017 Author Share Posted March 27, 2017 Thanks for jumping to conclusions - same girl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Thanks for jumping to conclusions - same girl Okay, I'll change nouns. How long have you and your ex been back together? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 I'm in an odd place right now. I have received further messages from her. Reading this thread from start to now is pretty crazy. Thanks for jumping to conclusions - same girl In that case, maybe go back and see the crazy? Are you really prepared to put up with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 I'm speechless op You sound like a guy with a good head on his shoulders but your still entertaining her even after the third slap ? Now I'm starting to think you like being slapped around Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 (edited) I'm speechless op You sound like a guy with a good head on his shoulders but your still entertaining her even after the third slap ? Now I'm starting to think you like being slapped around I disagree. I no longer think this person has a good head on his shoulders. This is getting annoying. HM, it's like you started a thread saying, "Hey everyone. I just touched a hot stove... it hurt!" and then everyone here tells you, "don't do that," but you come back every once in a while to say, "Hey guys, I'm still here touching the hot stove..." And the Update Got my finger ready on the burner, but I can't turn it on. Please advise. Edited March 27, 2017 by bluefeather 3 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Two weeks ago she had her implant renewed, we've had sex twice since. We're both in our early 20's and enjoyed a good sex life until recent times, now I feel like we're in a platonic relationship.. She'll happily tease me by sleeping naked, walking around in her underwear, talking dirty whenever we're out, text me what she wants me to do to her later.. but when it comes to me initating anything sexual I get shut down. When we used to have sex she'd always tell me nobody has ever made her orgasm like I have, plus I make her squirt which she had never experienced before, so I'd like to think that my sexual ability isn't the issue. This is all new to me, my past relationships were sex filled (average of 3 times a day) so I'm really not sure what to do. I love spending time with this girl, she's gorgeous, funny and most importantly not boring, I think we have a great connection, but a poor sex life is not something I can compromise.. Any thoughts would be appreciated.. This will be your life for the foreseeable future. Any thoughts we have nor advice we give will keep you from touching the hot stove. In a nutshell, you are on your own. Come back when you're truly looking for some advice. We'll be happy to help. In the meantime, stalk up on bandages. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 What kind of selfish pyscho would do something like this???? It's true that you don't really know what someone is about until a breakup - I feel thankful my ex never contacted me again. That sucks bro - hang in there and realize what this woman is all about. That is so true. Sometimes there are red flags sometimes not has been my experience sometimes u r totally blindsided by there behaviour especially after the break up A lot of my ex's I thought were angels lol but they were no angels maybe hells angels lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I spent the evening with another woman last night. Good looking, educated, own place.. the complete opposite to my ex, however i felt completely detached. How do people spend time in that nature when they're in love with someone else? It baffles me.. I laid awake the whole night with all kinds of thoughts running through my head. I left this morning whilst she was still asleep.. This moving on processs is very odd!! All that m3ans is that ur not ready to be vulnerable again. The heart and mind remembers well the pain and torture uve been put thru. Hopefully me and u are better at picking up red flags alot sooner and sniffing out fake Ness before it develops into anything that's all I can say. It's hard tho som people are very good at manipulating others. Wait til ur ready i wouldnt rush into a thing just yet it's not a race wth the ex let her go and have rebound after rebound and **** ups whilst u wait l3arn and choose wiser and hopefully a partner who is better suited Link to post Share on other sites
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