Text my ex.. Worst mistake, back to square 1

[Bromeo]

Friends, let's be patient and see how it plays out. For months I leapt at any contact from my ex. He hasn't yet been burned badly enough to be soured on immature ladies.

 

I was envious reading this thread that at least she responded to his attempts.

 

Mine just hoped I'd "just go away". Yup, I sure did. Lol

 

Sunny day in Chicago today. I hope everyone is having a good day.

[HumanMachine]

Friends, let's be patient and see how it plays out. For months I leapt at any contact from my ex. He hasn't yet been burned badly enough to be soured on immature ladies.

 

I was envious reading this thread that at least she responded to his attempts.

 

Mine just hoped I'd "just go away". Yup, I sure did. Lol

 

Sunny day in Chicago today. I hope everyone is having a good day.

 

Thank you but unfortunately I know myself that this is going to end in tears..

 

We spent the evening together again last night, with her initiating the meet. It was another fun evening, before i left i asked if she wanted to see me tomorrow (today) and she said "do you think that's a good idea?".. i didn't respond. I asked if she loved me and she replied "100% yes"

 

Now I'm in limbo again until I finish work to see it she messages me..

[jorgeg3d]

HumanMachine, if she really loved you man, she'd want to work things out. Things just don't add up.

 

When you love someone you make every effort to make it work, when you don't, you make every excuse to leave.

[allybaba789]

You are right - it wasn't the best thing to do for yourself. But don't beat yourself up about it forever. Learn from it. Sometimes it takes feeling that pain to make you never do it again. I regressed about 3 times and now I don't think I'll ever do it again. Best wishes xx

[HumanMachine]

HumanMachine, if she really loved you man, she'd want to work things out. Things just don't add up.

 

When you love someone you make every effort to make it work, when you don't, you make every excuse to leave.

 

This is it.. getting the impression that she's very much enjoying the company but has no interest in taking it further.

 

What is that awful feeling you get in your chest when you feel like this? Very odd..

[SevenCity]

This is it.. getting the impression that she's very much enjoying the company but has no interest in taking it further.

 

What is that awful feeling you get in your chest when you feel like this? Very odd..

 

I went through this for 3 months. My ex said she loved me, we had sex 3x per time she came over, and we had several phone conversations lasting for hours on end. She sent me gifts and cards, brought over food, and talked of future plans. But she also said everything I was doing was what she wanted the entire RL but felt I was only doing it to get her back.

 

I finally got to the point where I said "Either come back or let me go". That was correct and a mistake at the same time. When you are trying to get an ex back you have to let them do it on their timetable. At the same time, my life was on hold waiting for her and I was going insane.

 

I was devastated when she finally ended it but had a sense of relief because I was finally out of limbo.

 

When she moved out she kept saying maybe we'll get back together and took the 6' teddy bear and picture book of our RL which I told her I was going to give her when I asked her to marry me (who wants a 6' teddy bear reminder from a failed RL???).

 

I tell you this because you are in for a long painful road if you try to reconcile. If you're up for it, don't force the issue. Don't ask if she loves you. Just let her come to you on her terms.

 

That said I wouldn't bother trying. I wish I never did.

[HumanMachine]

To make matters even more stressful and frustrating, upon hearing we potentially could be getting back together, my parents have banned her from ever coming in my (their) house, .

 

Her parents miss me and can't wait to see me

 

My parents hate her and refuse to even listen to anything regarding her

 

Does that paint the picture for you...?

[Bromeo]

I went through this for 3 months. My ex said she loved me, we had sex 3x per time she came over, and we had several phone conversations lasting for hours on end. She sent me gifts and cards, brought over food, and talked of future plans. But she also said everything I was doing was what she wanted the entire RL but felt I was only doing it to get her back.

 

I finally got to the point where I said "Either come back or let me go". That was correct and a mistake at the same time. When you are trying to get an ex back you have to let them do it on their timetable. At the same time, my life was on hold waiting for her and I was going insane.

 

I was devastated when she finally ended it but had a sense of relief because I was finally out of limbo.

 

When she moved out she kept saying maybe we'll get back together and took the 6' teddy bear and picture book of our RL which I told her I was going to give her when I asked her to marry me (who wants a 6' teddy bear reminder from a failed RL???).

 

I tell you this because you are in for a long painful road if you try to reconcile. If you're up for it, don't force the issue. Don't ask if she loves you. Just let her come to you on her terms.

 

That said I wouldn't bother trying. I wish I never did.

 

We could be brothers in arms. Lol

 

I gave mine an engraved zippo, she loved it. Now lives in the glovebox. A vintage movie poster, that's gone. But she sure wears the diamond bracelet. And uses the iPhone I bought her as well.

 

I don't do limbo, you are with me or not. We are either working on us or not. You don't get to come and go as you please, and be part time with a couple mopes. I am worth more, and my time can be spent elsewhere.

 

They will do their best to keep you in that place though. Confusion and uncertainity is the immature woman's playground.

 

Seven, you 100 percent did the right thing. It sucks not having them around, but it sucks worse feeling like I did for those months. I lived in my bathtub when not working, watching, reading and journaling. I will never experience that again.

 

I made mine an instagram account with our pictures, sang karaoke voicemails to her, bought her gifts, emailed, poetry, offered to marry. She never said a word, not one damn word, about any of that.

 

May she roast in Gehenna.

 

OP, for gods sake, learn from these posts. When your self confidence comes up, your tolerance for bs will go down commensurately.

Edited March 8, 2017 by Bromeo

[SevenCity]

We could be brothers in arms. Lol

 

I gave mine an engraved zippo, she loved it. Now lives in the glovebox. A vintage movie poster, that's gone. But she sure wears the diamond bracelet. And uses the iPhone I bought her as well.

 

I don't do limbo, you are with me or not. We are either working on us or not. You don't get to come and go as you please, and be part time with a couple mopes. I am worth more, and my time can be spent elsewhere.

 

They will do their best to keep you in that place though. Confusion and uncertainity is the immature woman's playground.

 

Seven, you 100 percent did the right thing. It sucks not having them around, but it sucks worse feeling like I did for those months. I lived in my bathtub when not working, watching, reading and journaling. I will never experience that again.

 

I made mine an instagram account with our pictures, sang karaoke voicemails to her, bought her gifts, emailed, poetry, offered to marry. She never said a word, not one damn word, about any of that.

 

May she roast in Gehenna.

 

OP, for gods sake, learn from these posts. When your self confidence comes up, your tolerance for bs will go down commensurately.

 

Lol - I'll have to read your thread when I have time.

 

I didn't do anything lavish sans getting her an expensive bracelet for her birthday at the beginning of the three months. I'm still surprised she kept it after she dumped me.

 

As far as I'm concerned any gift after the initial breakup should be returned. It's the right thing to do.

 

I can't imagine accepting an expensive gift and wanting to keep it after you dump someone for good.

 

I don't think my ex was as f'ed up as yours, but she sure got a lot more selfish since the initial breakup.

[dumbass2]

To make matters even more stressful and frustrating, upon hearing we potentially could be getting back together, my parents have banned her from ever coming in my (their) house, .

 

Her parents miss me and can't wait to see me

 

My parents hate her and refuse to even listen to anything regarding her

 

Does that paint the picture for you...?

 

I'm assuming this is this because you poured your feelings about her out to your parents and said some bad things or is it just because she broke your heart?

[HumanMachine]

I'm assuming this is this because you poured your feelings about her out to your parents and said some bad things or is it just because she broke your heart?

 

They saw from the beginning how manipulative, nasty and disloyal she can be. Since then they have never approved of her (but did allow her round for me).

Edited March 8, 2017 by HumanMachine

[dumbass2]

They saw from the beginning how manipulative, nasty and disloyal she can be. Since then they have never approved of her (but did allow her round for me).

 

So, what are your thoughts on those characteristics of hers?

[HumanMachine]

So, what are your thoughts on those characteristics of hers?

 

They're 100% right. The scary thing is my friends/colleagues said EXACTLY the same thing!

 

Last night again we spent the evening together. I have now realised that i'm simply being used for company during the week, whilst she makes plans elsewhere for the weekend.

 

I am worth so much more than her it's unbelievable, I just somehow need to move on..

[keiji]

They're 100% right. The scary thing is my friends/colleagues said EXACTLY the same thing!

 

Last night again we spent the evening together. I have now realised that i'm simply being used for company during the week, whilst she makes plans elsewhere for the weekend.

 

I am worth so much more than her it's unbelievable, I just somehow need to move on..

 

Man, you must bury any hopes you may still have left, and I suspect you have some because otherwise you wouldn't agree to see her, and start the inevitable mourning process away from this woman.

 

Don't bother asking her if she's playing with you. She'll obviously say no and give a vague speech about how she loves you, etc, but weeks will go by and nothing will come out of it. Silly messages, a beer after work perhaps, but nothing more. And then one day she'll disappear. Be very blunt to her about keeping no contact and carrying on with your life.

 

You're still in time to get some sense of empowerment by closing the door and leaving with your chin up. My ex-girlfriend also tried to string me along while, unbeknownst to me, she was starting a new relationship. I knew that keeping in touch would be even worse and, although it frightened me to disappear from her life lest she found someone else (poor silly me), 24 hours after our last encounter where she begged to keep in touch, I messaged her saying I needed to start anew and wishing her the best. It was one of the best decisions I've made in quite a while.

[HumanMachine]

Man, you must bury any hopes you may still have left, and I suspect you have some because otherwise you wouldn't agree to see her, and start the inevitable mourning process away from this woman.

 

Don't bother asking her if she's playing with you. She'll obviously say no and give a vague speech about how she loves you, etc, but weeks will go by and nothing will come out of it. Silly messages, a beer after work perhaps, but nothing more. And then one day she'll disappear. Be very blunt to her about keeping no contact and carrying on with your life.

 

You're still in time to get some sense of empowerment by closing the door and leaving with your chin up. My ex-girlfriend also tried to string me along while, unbeknownst to me, she was starting a new relationship. I knew that keeping in touch would be even worse and, although it frightened me to disappear from her life lest she found someone else (poor silly me), 24 hours after our last encounter where she begged to keep in touch, I messaged her saying I needed to start anew and wishing her the best. It was one of the best decisions I've made in quite a while.

 

Thanks man, this is spot on. I've just deleted her number so I have no way of contacting her.

[la74219]

Thanks man, this is spot on. I've just deleted her number so I have no way of contacting her.

 

Hey man - I'm proud of you. That's a big step. That's only the beginning though..she's going to contact you again. Look at the majority of our situations..they all wanted to keep in touch and filled us with empty promises. So the real test is..when she does contact you, will you stay firm and let her know that she is NOT allowed to keep coming in and out of your life like this? I hope so for your sake.

[HumanMachine]

Just received probably the most spiteful message ever

 

From her number

 

"Take it you have plans this weekend? Xxxxx"

 

Me

 

"No, why?"

 

Her

 

"Well i thought we were going out but you didn't text me so i've made plans with someone else"

 

I have done nothing to her for her to act like this to me.. absolute psycho

[Bromeo]

Just received probably the most spiteful message ever

 

From her number

 

"Take it you have plans this weekend? Xxxxx"

 

Me

 

"No, why?"

 

Her

 

"Well i thought we were going out but you didn't text me so i've made plans with someone else"

 

I have done nothing to her for her to act like this to me.. absolute psycho

 

I must say, I feel compelled to divest from the normal blocking, NC advice, and offer a more satisfying answer to this.

 

First, this is BS. All day. This is punishing behavior.

 

"I would have made plans with you if I had heard from you, but I didn't, so I made plans with someone else"????

 

Hopefully you can see right through that shiite.

 

If she has access to your social media, find your cutest lady friend, take selfie doing activity op and ex previously enjoyed, post to online site crazy ex has access to, with the following, intentionally nebulous caption:

 

"What an amazingly perfect day!"

 

Crazy ex rinses and repeats?

 

"I am so blessed to have such perfect days!"

 

I am all for social media guerilla warfare. In my case, I was doing the same, light-hearted, intentionally vague spec ops, when I started getting angry messages from an ex of almost three years ago. They check it, and often. So be that guy. I didn't understand this until I read another LS poster who offered the ways of Facebook Bushido.

 

Normally the block, NC advice is the classiest, but in this case, where the ex is going out of her way to inflict pain, a more yakuza style response is warranted.

 

Dave

Edited March 10, 2017 by Bromeo

[HumanMachine]

I must say, I feel compelled to divest from the normal blocking, NC advice, and offer a more satisfying answer to this.

 

First, this is BS. All day. This is punishing behavior.

 

"I would have made plans with you if I had heard from you, but I didn't, so I made plans with someone else"????

 

Hopefully you can see right through that shiite.

 

If she has access to your social media, find your cutest lady friend, take selfie doing activity op and ex previously enjoyed, post to online site crazy ex has access to, with the following, intentionally nebulous caption:

 

"What an amazingly perfect day!"

 

Crazy ex rinses and repeats?

 

"I am so blessed to have such perfect days!"

 

I am all for social media guerilla warfare. In my case, I was doing the same, light-hearted, intentionally vague spec ops, when I started getting angry messages from an ex of almost three years ago. They check it, and often. So be that guy. I didn't understand this until I read another LS poster who offered the ways of Facebook Bushido.

 

Normally the block, NC advice is the classiest, but in this case, where the ex is going out of her way to inflict pain, a more yakuza style response is warranted.

 

Dave

 

Thanks Dave

 

This is a woman that i've been nothing but good to, supported mentally and financially.. dealt with all of her chit, on top of my own.

 

I can't comprehend how you could do that to somebody..

 

Let her be somebody elses problem is what i keep telling myself

[marky00]

Thanks Dave

 

This is a woman that i've been nothing but good to, supported mentally and financially.. dealt with all of her chit, on top of my own.

 

I can't comprehend how you could do that to somebody..

 

 

Same with my last relationship.

 

 

She is doing this out of pure GUILT.

 

 

She can't stand the fact it's over and your still standing there like the GOOD GUY and have taken the high ground.

 

 

She needs a bit of conflict or to get a rise out of you to make her feel better in justifying her decision. If you get angry or needy, she can feel better about her decision.

 

 

Do not give that to her.

 

 

Just keep feeding her that SILENCE SANDWICH.

 

 

My ex did the same thing and I was always very good to her. She got very nasty leading up to BU and at time of BU and basically ignored me a couple of times I did reach out post BU. She must have found it hard to break up with me as I treated her well and gave her a zero reaction during BU and after, I basically just walked away. After about 6 months hard NC, she started sending some messages and although they were breadcrumbs, at least they had a respectful tone. I still did not reply but. This is now about setting your boundaries and teaching people how you expect to be treated.

Edited March 10, 2017 by marky00

[la74219]

Marky00 is correct. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is NOTHING.

[Marc878]

Maybe when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired you'll establish no contact.

 

You're letting your weakness define you.

 

Hopefully you'll learn from this.

[dumbass2]

Yep, silence and ignoring sends the absolute strongest message that no words could. You said you deleted her number, but you answered her text which is bad, so now block and delete her number and remove her from all social media. Eliminate any way she has of contacting you. This will help you first and foremost to move on and as a result will kill her not knowing what you are doing. That is way better than putting up pictures of you having fake fun with an anonymous girl. Not knowing drives people nuts and that again just comes from you doing what you need to do for yourself.

[HumanMachine]

I spent the evening with another woman last night. Good looking, educated, own place.. the complete opposite to my ex, however i felt completely detached. How do people spend time in that nature when they're in love with someone else? It baffles me..

 

I laid awake the whole night with all kinds of thoughts running through my head.

 

I left this morning whilst she was still asleep..

 

This moving on processs is very odd!!

[Bromeo]

I spent the evening with another woman last night. Good looking, educated, own place.. the complete opposite to my ex, however i felt completely detached. How do people spend time in that nature when they're in love with someone else? It baffles me..

 

I laid awake the whole night with all kinds of thoughts running through my head.

 

I left this morning whilst she was still asleep..

 

This moving on processs is very odd!!

 

Human,

 

We could be kin. I did the same. The woman I spend time with couldn't be more different than my ex. Educated, awesome job, travelled, and totally into me.

 

I felt the same, detached, and still longed for my crazy ex.

 

Those feelings will slowly fade, I can promise that.

 

The more good times that stack up, the more she will drift from your thoughts.

 

However, be true to her and yourself.