Does he or doesn't he?

[LeilaPooh]

Hi! Thanks in advance for reading this.

 

I met Chris (fake name) about a month and a half ago when a mutual friend recommended me for his French tutoring sessions. We immediately hit it off, we're both really chatty and have very mild friendly nature. I of course started to like him, it's what I do. He is a single straight guy with whom I could talk for hours on end. Our tutoring sessions would almost always be twice as long as they should have been, sometimes we'd speak English and sometimes we'd speak French.

 

I noticed Chris was very generous and sweet. He'd remember I mentioned something and bring it to me the following sessions, he'd drive me to the store if it were late, offer to drive me anywhere I needed, walk me to the bus stop and wait with me for the bus, walk me to the store if it was raining and I didn't have my umbrella. I kind of was confused because I knew he was really grateful for the tutoring, also our mutual friend told me he is generally a sweet and a giving guy. On a few occasions he touched my leg (not accidentally) and I didn't know if it meant anything.

 

Then we went to this event together, he invited me on the same day and our mutual friend too but she turned him down and said we should go. So we did. He paid for everything at this event, including dinner, we shared a desert and a glass of wine. And then as I was talking to him about my friends, he said he knows we're not close just yet but he hopes we could become better friends in the future. Mind you, he is not a player, nor does he have a lot of experience with girls. He's actually quite inexperienced for a guy his age, and I don't mind this. After the event I asked him to come to my place to watch a movie and he said yes, so we ended up sitting on the couch watching a movie and nothing really happened. After the movie he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek good night and that was it. I didn't make a move on him nor did I make it obvious in any way I liked him, although when your single straight female friend asks you to come over to watch a movie...don't know...it sounds pretty suggestive to me. But ok.

 

The problem is I haven't seen him since then, it's been a week, he's been super busy (this is something he had told me about prior to our little event outing so I know it's true), but it just seems he's avoiding to see me again. I invited him for a thing next weekend and he told me he might be visiting his family in another town. Not sure if I'm being paranoid or he freaked out or.... I guess my question is: does he or could he like me? We are about the same age, none of is particularly unattractive or attractive, I guess we're average, both single and straight and get along well. So what do you guys think? Thanks.

[preraph]

All you can do is be patient and see if he contacts you. The ball is in his court. Don't contact him again.

[Titanll]

Sounds like you are making tons of assumptions about this guy. Obviously, when you get the chance to talk to him, you need to be open and honest about your feelings but I would not be surprised if they are not reciprocated.

 

Do yourself a favor and slow down a bit, you sound like you have already made an emotional investment in someone you hardly know...

[LeilaPooh]

Sounds like you are making tons of assumptions about this guy. Obviously, when you get the chance to talk to him, you need to be open and honest about your feelings but I would not be surprised if they are not reciprocated.

 

Do yourself a favor and slow down a bit, you sound like you have already made an emotional investment in someone you hardly know...

 

Hi, thanks for your reply but I am confused. First you say I need to be open about my feelings, then you say I need to slow it down. So which one is it? I am assuming, girls usually do, doesn't mean I am in love with him, and I wouldn't even go down that road had it not been for all the sweet stuff he's done for me. I do like him but I am nowhere near emotionally invested. I am a somewhat anxious person and constantly question my actions. Also, how do I slow down? I haven't done anything, I haven't made any moves, I invited him for a movie night and offered him some wine to which he said yes. I didn't even imply anything romantic, in fact, I told him we're friends now.

[Telemachus]

Hi, thanks for your reply but I am confused. First you say I need to be open about my feelings, then you say I need to slow it down. So which one is it? I am assuming, girls usually do, doesn't mean I am in love with him, and I wouldn't even go down that road had it not been for all the sweet stuff he's done for me. I do like him but I am nowhere near emotionally invested. I am a somewhat anxious person and constantly question my actions. Also, how do I slow down? I haven't done anything, I haven't made any moves, I invited him for a movie night and offered him some wine to which he said yes. I didn't even imply anything romantic, in fact, I told him we're friends now.

 

There was nothing unclear or contradictory about TitanII's comment on your posting. Your French tutor has done nothing unfriendly. You insist that you've behaved in a friendly manner and have told him that your intention is friendship. Then, there's no problem, confusion, or quandry - no reason for your original posting. Every thing is as it should be, as you've said wish it to be.

 

You've made much about nothing. Follow TitanII's advice or reject it; however, if you say that it's irrelevant to your posting, then you've missed the clear indication of thoughtful attention that TII gave to your posting.

 

You invited Messr. to watch a movie. He did. There was nothing suggestive in your offer, other than a movie. He paid for dinner. That's what the person who extends the invitation does, even among friends, unless some other payment arrangement is explicit at the outset. The one who invites always pays, unless another arrangement is negotiated. When you invited him to watch a movie at your place, he didn't bring video equipment - you invited, so you provide that.

 

If you want more, you have to make it more, not by suggesion, but by declaration. If you don't want more, and you alternate between saying that you want more and that you don't, then leave things as they are.