Ranting about parenting

[PeachBlossom]

My parents, especially my mother, made sure that I believed that I was the ugliest and clumsiest person in the world during my childhood. I was also given ugly haircuts, and ugly clothes. They did not do ugly clothing part on purpose though. We simply could not afford nice clothes. Being closed off from the world herself, my mother also had no sense of fashion. So my clothing style was always a decade behind, like how people today dress up like they are from 80s. Pretty hilarious in a sense.

 

Then I married a good-looking and smart but self-entitled guy (ex now). Why? Because I had no confidence to go out to look for a better guy.

 

Here comes the ironic part: When I got out, I often meet people who would go straight up to me and compliment my looks; occasionally there would be people who tell me that they felt too intimidated to compliment me during the first few meetings.

 

Another ironic part:I still love my ex husband. I am not interested in dating and I have not dated anyone since we broke up.

 

He is no long a self-entitled punk, but too much damage has been done to our relationship by both of us. He has lost faith in me. He told me he is still attracted to me, but he is also determined to move on.

 

I know his parents are the type that would ignore his flaws and even indulge him because they are so very proud of him and think he is entitled to special treatment.

 

--------------

Thanks for reading. After spending a long long time thinking about what went wrong in my life, I just feel like ranting a little here.

 

I hope I can do the parenting part better than my last generation.

[Telemachus]

His parents ignored his flaws and indulged him. Your parents did the opposite -they exaggerated and emphasized your flaws and denied you. Neither was constructive, because they were extreme.

 

As you've seen, the better path lies in the middle. If you have children, I'm sure you'll avoid the mistakes you've seen in these two sets of parents from the next generation older than you are. As I've done, you'll make your own mistakes and realize them only in hindsight. As long as your children know that they're loved and you've set a good example, you'll have done well. I'm sure you will.