Shifty23 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Hey everyone i dont know where else to go for help so i figured id try here. Ill try to keep it short and simple. Ive been with my girlfriend since i was 16 and she was 15 im now 29 so its been quite a long relationship for us youngins. We had a prriod about 5-6 years ago where we agreed to "break up" for about a year I guess just because, we mutually agreed on it, there werent any issues or anything. So fast foward about 2 years after we got back together (i know it seems invasive but i was trusting my gut) i went through her phone and found a message from a guy she went to college with and she wrote how great their sex was she claims it was an ongoing joke they had and she never had sex with him. Now fast foward to about a year ago (again trusting my gut) i went through her phone and found her talking to another guy she had met during our seperation, hadnt done anything i know of but she was calling him babe which made me very uneasy. Now this past friday (once agan trusting my gut) i go through her phone and she was talking to a guy she worked with over a year ago at a previous job and they were planning to meet up for a drink that night. I work 2nd shift mind you and i was getting out early that night so she cancelled on him and deleted the txt the next day before i confronted her. Shes claims shes never hung out with him outside of her old job but wanted to catch up with her old friend. Now she claims these guys are her friends when i knew nothing about any of them until i snooped through her phone. She denies having cheated on me ever. She says she randomly deletes her texts thats why she deleted that one 2 days ago yet she has txts from 2 years ago. She claims she deleted it cause she knew id get mad if i saw it and "she woild have told me if they did meet up" she also is constantly on snapchat she even said how she talks to this dude on there which i find even sketchier. Weve never had relationship issues untill all this **** began after our stupid ass "breakup" and i love the **** outta her now all my trust is lost in her and i dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 If you don't have trust you don't have a relationship. Her sneaking around, texting other men behind your back, and deleting messages is extremely shady and a huge red flag. I would get out before spending another year or two with her and wait for her to cheat or leave you for someone else. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing, the fact that shes deleting messages means you can not trust her. I would go with your gut on this, and leave before she hurts you even worse. I know its hard to leave long term relationships, but trust me, no one deserves to get treated like this, and the longer you stay the worse it will get. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 (edited) OK first off, whatever happened during your breakup is none of your business. She has every right to not disclose details of whom she was with and what she was doing. Her meet up with a guy without your knowledge is grounds for a breakup. Sorry but it doesn't matter if you love her to bits, she is stepping out already and you can't stop her from doing it. She will continue to do so....sorry but you have ran out of options. This is not your fault. When people don't get to experience dating others, they feel they are missing out...I believe she is at this point in her life where she is on the fence, looking at what else is out there. Edited March 5, 2017 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 There is bad news written all over this. End it and move on before she cheats on you, if she hasn't already. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Your GF is a liar. Get rid of her. Yes it's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Give her the freedom she wants. Let her date other people. If you don't like that, then you'll have to break up with her and find somone who wants you and only uou. Link to post Share on other sites
Giacomo67 Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 uhmmmm----- yes, time to break up again. no trust no girlfriend. For now my friend, you are plan b. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Deleting texts is just a habit. Don't read anything into that. There are those who never delete anything and then there are those who delete everything as soon as possible. That's how I am. It doesn't matter what she did while you were broken up, so anything from that period, forget about it being your business. If she is going missing for periods of time, if there's been a shift in your relationship, then have a talk with her. Women CAN have guy friends, especially someone they got to know well working together. It certainly doesn't mean she's ever been anything more to them. Calling the one Babe is suspicious, depending on the context. But I call my old guy friend endearments and we say I love you, but in 40 years, it has never been anything but friendship and neither of us has ever carried a torch for the other. I'm just saying that it's highly unlikely all these men are anyone she's cheating with. But you need to just talk to her and find out if your relationship is still progressing. You need to talk about whether she feels you have a commitment to be exclusive or plans to marry you sometime down the road. You've been together so long that she may have you in the category of family already and almost feel like she still should get to date around. Only you know if you're sex life is good or not. But you've known each other forever, so have an honest talk about where you're going. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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