VivianLee Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 My goodness, it’s been about 6 months at least since I posted on here! I had very limited computer access and my STBX and daughter were reading (and reading into) my posts and it was adding fuel to the fire of an already volatile situation! I made some very awesome friends here so basically this post is just to let y’all know what’s been going on in my life the past 6 months, once I got into my account, I had a bunch of PM’s asking me how I was doing. As far as my relationship with my husband, we didn’t get back together, in fact, last Monday I was signing the divorce papers and wasn’t comfortable about how the debt section was worded so I didn’t sign, told my STBX my concerns and he is getting it amended. My daughter is doing so well but “the road to well” was horrendous! She has become a very spiritual and kind-hearted young lady. I’m so proud of her! She’s going to be okay in fact; she’s going to be great! It’s been a very, very rocky road with all kinds of drama and tons of pain but right now things are just kind of going along. I’ve gotten a great job! I’m an account manager in sales; I am having a blast and work with some wonderful people. I’ve moved out on my own, I have a cute little place with 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. It’s just the right size for me and for my daughter when she visits (which she visits every weekend when she gets home from her summer job of working at a Christian camp). She gave me a puppy so I won’t be lonely. It’s worked; my puppy has kept me company when she isn’t running me crazy! My STBX and I get along fine, sometimes we just talk to talk about things that always interested us during our marriage. He won’t see me; I bet we haven’t faced each other more than an hour since we separated in November. It may just be his way of handling things. I’m not going to speak too much of all that has gone on till our divorce is final, I feel like I need to protect myself in case he reads this. Currently, I’m not dating, I get asked out at about the average that I did as a teen but I’m not ready and I’m okay with that. I miss having a male around, I’m definitely not anti-men in any way at all but I don’t have to have a man in my life to establish who I am or what I want. I want a man for companionship and the nice little benefits of attraction. I hope all my friends and acquaintances at Love Shack are doing well. I hope wounds have healed and even relationships! Link to post Share on other sites
Cis Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Yes - it seems so long ago. I was in the throws of my totally ridiculous and inappropriate affair. I liked your writing and advice very much. I remember the day you had to move out (it made me cry - I saw the writing on the wall). Also your relationship with your parents was something I totally related to. I'm also separated (since March) - I'm having trouble letting go (not sure what I want etc). BUT - you sound very positive and like you are heading in the right direction. Any tips on how to move forward, accept that you don't have control over anyone but yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 It's good to see a post from you Viv. I'm glad to hear you're doing well. It sad that the outcome wasn't necessarily what you most desired. But still, your attitude is an inspiration for many. It's just a wonder what a person can accomplish when they have a positive attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 welcome back, lady! it's good hearing that even though things could have become ugly and nasty with your divorce, you two are doing your best to part amicably. had to smile about your daughter's gift -- what a sweet thing to do, giving you puppy to cuddle with so you wouldn't be lonely. My dad would do that whenever he and my mom stopped caring for various nieces and nephews (some they helped raise because of divorce, others because of military commitment) and they'd start missing the kids! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 Glad to hear that things are working out for you Viv!! You've crossed my mind more than once, and after all the great advice you'd given me, I was really hoping that things were good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author VivianLee Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Hey Y'all! I remember each of you, there are others I wonder about but some change their screen names so much that I am sure they go by new names.....I was always truly concerned about the people on here and what they were going thru, I could honestly feel their pain!! My attitude is positive because if I let myself get negative, I'd never pull out of it PLUS considering how things could be, I'm so blessed!! My class reunion is tonight and I'm looking forward to it but a little nervous. You know, it's weird but being home alone isn't that bad. I really don't "feel" lonely and I kinda like the solitude of doing what I want when I want to. For one thing my house stays so immaculate! Even when my daughter is here. LOLOL! I hope I'm not a selfish person and I feel so bad when other people that are separated go on about being lonely and I even try to see if I'm lonely but I'm just not. After Laura leaves I feel lonesome for her but as far as thinking "I'm all alone in my house"...I kinda like and feel a bit liberated. Cause to me it's like "I'm all alone in my house, that I pay for and take care of and dang ITS SO COOL!" I went straight from my parent's to my husband, except for a 5 month separation in 2001, I've never been alone (and I kinda like it then) or supported myself. After 19 years it's so cool! Maybe I'm going thru some honeymoon phase or my new found state of self supporting....I don't know.... I have started dreaming about my STBX alot lately. It's either semi-sweet but most of the time it's BAD. I wish I could get him out of my dreams because I relive all my sadness every night! As soon as my insurance at this job kicks in, I'm running to the therapist to find out "why in the world the things that goes thru my head, go there"! I may regret the results!! LOL!! It's great to hear from y'all...Cis....time is the only thing that makes things get better but they do get better and bearable, I promise, you just have to be willing for it to get better and try not to wallow..... Y'all have a great day!! Link to post Share on other sites
MadManMike Posted August 8, 2005 Share Posted August 8, 2005 you dont know me but i have read some of your replies to others and just wanted to say you give great advice and hope that if you get a chance, could you reply to the post that i am going to post? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VivianLee Posted August 9, 2005 Author Share Posted August 9, 2005 Originally posted by MadManMike you dont know me but i have read some of your replies to others and just wanted to say you give great advice and hope that if you get a chance, could you reply to the post that i am going to post? Thanks MadManMike but I don't know if I should be giving advice as much as listening....I haven't done the greatest job with my relationships....what did you post, I would like to at least read it...even if I don't have any advice, I may can at least sympathize.... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts