Cheating Wife might get sued, should I make a run for it?

[FoundMyStrength]

Actually what she did is a crime in 26 states and can be sent to prison for it. She just happens to live in one of the states it's not currently a crime.

 

Some of the states have license violations posted online, I've read a lot of cases, and therapists have lost there license for a lot less.

 

My point exactly. This is not just a bad decision, this is a legal and moral nightmare. If this does go through the ethics board, I have no doubt her license will be taken away. She has clearly committed one of the most egregious ethics violation in our field.

 

If I were you, I'd be initiating divorce proceedings ASAP. And, honestly, husband or not, I'd report her to the ethics board myself. This is not just about finances or losing a job -- you also have an ethical responsibility to prevent your wife from EVER being able to work with patients again.

[MrInternational]

I think one of your main problems is that you need to develop some ethics when it comes to sex. It is not okay to do 'swinging.' From a practical point of view, the vast majority of people aren't going to be able to keep a relationship going if they live like that. If you agree that your wife can commit adultery and she agrees that you can commit adultery, that doesn't make it okay. What she has been doing with this female lover is immoral. Your going along with it is immoral.

 

What kind of woman wants a man who doesn't get jealous or hurt if she has a sex partner on the side? She may convince herself intellectually that this is all okay, but her emotions will probably know better. It goes against the hard wiring.

 

Should you leave your wife? Well, you gave her permission to be unfaithful. You suggested swinging. You could stick around and help her out of this mess. But you've got to cut this negative 'sex positive' junk out of your marriage and just have sex with each other. Life isn't some kind of kinky movie. This stuff is not okay.

 

One thing your wife could try to do is settle out of court with the woman for some cash amount where she agrees not to disclose what happened, but that probably won't protect your wife if the case goes to the organization that licenses her. But she could settle with her and break it off, and then let her risk losing her license.

 

If she lost her license, society would probably be better off. She needs to get her head on straight. IMO, they shouldn't license any kind of mental health professional who has serious marital problems, and certainly not license anyone who has multiple sex partners. They could have them fill out a questionairre to determine if they've been involved in affairs or swinging and if the answer is 'yes', not give them a license.

[Grapesofwrath]

That is a question for a lawyer. But, I don't know that it matter when you knew about the ethics violation. I would say that it only matters that there was an ethics violation and then, you need to learn whether you can be held legally responsible for any settlement, given the fact that you are married to the defendant...

 

If you are married, then her debts are your debts. If she has a settlement levied against her beyond what her malpractice insurance will cover, you would be also on the hook for that. Her debts are your debts. Not 50/50, but 100/100 (assuming you live in the US.) You can file for legal separation in order to protect yourself. This draws a line in the sand, financially, and you will not be responsible for debts she incurs after that date.

 

Legal separation does not require that you live separately, or at least it didn't used to, though I understand from a family law friend of mine that the courts are tightening up on this because of situations like yours. (i.e. to protect one spouse from the debt incurred by the other.)

 

Of course, check with a lawyer.

[S2B]

Your wife really made a mess of the marriage and her career.

 

Any lawsuit would show you were still married during these times that she was cheating on you - so potentially you could still be liable given you were there.

 

Your wife shows no signs of doing what SHE KNOWS is right. Has she always had a problem with that? With boundaries?

 

You can't fix her.

[mightycpa]

Either get a divorce, citing the ethics problems as grounds, or buy a boatload of liability insurance after telling your agent everything (to make sure you're covered).

[BettyDraper]

If I were you I would bail: 1) because she's a cheater, and 2) because she lacks both ethics and morals.

 

This is what it all comes down to. I wouldn't feel safe with someone who could be this amoral.

[NTV]

I'm feeling conflicted on what to do, I really love my Wife

 

Did your love for her stop her from cheating?

 

Why should it stop you from divorce?

[SoleMate]

If I were you, I would see a lawyer immediately for advice on the ethics issue and how it would affect your marital property in the likely event of a malpractice suit. Your wife should be doing whatever is advised now to stop the ethical violations and to the extent possible, calm down the situation with the client whose confidences and trust she has abused. And also consider whether you want to fight for this marriage or not......given how hard your W has made it.

[sandylee1]

Your wife should not be a therapist TBH. The two years is from when the therapist stopped seeing the client in a professional capacity, not from when the relationship began.

 

That she's a MH therapist makes it even worse.

 

Considering she's breached the ethical guidelines, I'm not surprised she cheated on you.

 

A total lack of boundaries and professionalism.

 

Every therapist knows this.