Natali Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 Last week I did something wrong which in a way I've betrayed my b/f emotionally. We've been together over a year now. I did apologized and asked for forgiveness(over the phone because it seem like he doesn't want to see me yet). His first responce was that he forgives me but we can only be friends from now on and I deserve somebody better than he is (that what he always says whenever we had an argument, he is too young for me and so on). I've asked him if I could at least see him one more time and he agreed. So now when I call him he doesn't seem to be willing to talk much neither he comes over after 4 days. I feel so frustraited, I don't want to bother him by my apologetic phone calls or leaving voice messages and I do not want to loose him just like that either. it seem like I've tried everything (phone, email) Any suggestion? Should I just stop. I REALLY REALLY NEED YOUR OPINION..PLEASE HELP... Link to post Share on other sites
mickey Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 Last week I did something wrong which in a way I've betrayed my b/f emotionally. We've been together over a year now. I did apologized and asked for forgiveness(over the phone because it seem like he doesn't want to see me yet). His first responce was that he forgives me but we can only be friends from now on and I deserve somebody better than he is (that what he always says whenever we had an argument, he is too young for me and so on). I've asked him if I could at least see him one more time and he agreed. So now when I call him he doesn't seem to be willing to talk much neither he comes over after 4 days. I feel so frustraited, I don't want to bother him by my apologetic phone calls or leaving voice messages and I do not want to loose him just like that either. it seem like I've tried everything (phone, email) Any suggestion? Should I just stop. I REALLY REALLY NEED YOUR OPINION..PLEASE HELP... Natali, it would help to know what you did in the first place, to etermine the appropriate step to take from here- feel like giving any more info? Link to post Share on other sites
Natali Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 Well, one day he said he had to work and I've met him accidently near his ex g/f place so I've followed him out of being jealous and he noticed me. I still don't know if he was indeed going to her house but it wasn't work for sure and I did not ask him. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 You didn't betray him emotionally...you just don't trust him. No guy wants a girlfriend who doesn't trust him, thus he told you that you could find someone better and you probably can. The fact that he made this statement indicating you could find somebody better either indicates a degree of guilt on his part or some very low self esteem. At any rate, it is impossible to conduct a healthy and fulfilling relationship with someone you have to spy on. Your guy is right...you need to move on and find someone who's girfriends are in the distant past and who you find to be trustworthy. If you are able to patch things up with this guy, it's doubtful you will ever trust him and vice versa. Now that he knows you are the spy type, he won't feel comfortable doing much of anything without having to look over his shoulder and wondering if you will misinterpret his actions. Looks like this one is over...and that's probably OK. You said you REALLY needed an opinion...but I doubt you wanted mine. I'm sorry this happened but you really do deserve a guy you won't be suspicious about. Link to post Share on other sites
mickey Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 Well, one day he said he had to work and I've met him accidently near his ex g/f place so I've followed him out of being jealous and he noticed me. I still don't know if he was indeed going to her house but it wasn't work for sure and I did not ask him. It sounds like he is turning the tables on you- making you feel guilty for following him so that you don't have time to be mad at him for lying to you- follow me? You need to decide how much this guy means to you, and how much you are willing to sacrifice to stay with him. Do you love him enough to stay with him even if you don't trust him? Because you will be sacrificing any chance at security or contentment in your relationship if you stay with him as things are. And there is also the possibility (I am SO sorry) that maybe he was on his way to her house, and that's where he is when he doesn't want to talk to/see you. Like they say, "If you love something, let it go free- if it does not return, it was never meant to be yours; but if it does, love it forever" I know it sounds corny, but it is very true- lived it myself a couple times. Stay away a few days, decide what it is that you want and whether or not he can (honestly) give it to you. I bet that by the time you decide, he will already have called. Besides, you have to give him time to miss you! (another corny/true one: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder) Link to post Share on other sites
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