carnelian Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 When if ever is it too late to contact by email or letter a old ex, when there has been no contact in the passing time? Is there a time limit? We parted amicably and live very far away from the other. Has anyone ever done this? Did you use an internet service and pay for the information? I just want to find out what happened with her? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 These random contacts have ruined a lot of marriages. It could be the start of something wonder but your sudden appearance is more likely to be unwelcome. Try searching via social media & maybe that passive way will satisfy your curiosity that she's alive & well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 What good could come of it?? I think sometimes you have to think of the other person...Maybe it wasn't so amicable for them...?? Maybe it was a painful time for them??..No one knows.. Let's face it. in this day and age, anyone can find anyone..If they wanted to know what you were doing and how you are, they probably would have reached out long ago...Previous poster brought up a good point..What if it causes an issue in that person's marriage?? Let sleeping dogs lie.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Are you single? Is she single? If you don't know, find out. If you're both single, there's no harm in contact. If either of you are married, then it's a bad idea and can ruin a marriage, as d0nnivain has pointed out. Better to let it drop, IMO, as they are no longer the person you remember - too much time has passed for that. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 My first serious boyfriend and I got back in contact after 25 years. He came to my house for a reunion with me, my sister, our kids, husbands etc. We had a great afternoon. We have not been in private contact ever. I am now FB friends with his wife too. If you are going to do it, be 100% transparent. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 If it ended so amicably, then what's the hesitation? You haven't really explained that. I have old girlfriends that I wouldn't hesitate to contact if I was so inclined, and others I wouldn't dare contact. So, what's the big deal with this one? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 If it ended so amicably, then what's the hesitation? You haven't really explained that. I have old girlfriends that I wouldn't hesitate to contact if I was so inclined, and others I wouldn't dare contact. So, what's the big deal with this one? I assumed the hesitation was because he had a partner. Now I realise there could be so many more reasons.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author carnelian Posted March 10, 2017 Author Share Posted March 10, 2017 The reason I hesitate is that it has been so very long, more than 25 years I am single and she was married in an open marriage. She lives over 1200 miles away and we were not together long. nothing or nothing good will come of it...that's the story of my life. I probably won't write. I got no information so far. Too little too late. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Sorry. But after a quarter century, I think you may be right that the window of opportunity closed. What's the LDR connection going to get you anyway? I think you answered your own Q & correctly concluded that no good can come of this. Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off & put your energy toward finding somebody local. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 What good could come of it?? I think sometimes you have to think of the other person...Maybe it wasn't so amicable for them...?? Maybe it was a painful time for them??..No one knows.. Let's face it. in this day and age, anyone can find anyone..If they wanted to know what you were doing and how you are, they probably would have reached out long ago...Previous poster brought up a good point..What if it causes an issue in that person's marriage?? Let sleeping dogs lie.. TFY I agree it's likely not a good idea. However there are plenty of people from my past who will cross my mind from time to time. I purposely abstain from contacting them but that doesn't mean I don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Leave the past in the past where it belongs especially if she's married. Link to post Share on other sites
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