canadianheart Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Hi All, Thank you to all you kind souls who take the time to read my story and provide comforting words. I am about two months in to feeling absolutely dead inside following a very traumatic separation leading to common law divorce. In November of this year, I left the house I shared with my long term significant other. After close to five years together, we were at a point of having both ups and downs, but I still considered him the love of my life and my best friend. Some of our fights had become explosive, but I can genuinely say we always seemed to move past them and back to good times. We had a relationship of love, support and friendship that seemed second to none. I genuinely loved this man, and couldn't imagine hurting him in any capacity. Over the summer, we purchased a house together and I felt like our lives were finally falling into place. Several times in the process I asked him if he was sure he was ready to take that step and was happy in our relationship. He always said yes, and I spent a fortune on both the home and furnishing it. A year into our relationship, I moved from my home in Canada to Texas to be with this man after we had lived together for six months and he had to move for work. In November I had to make a trip home to help my sick grandparent. While I was away, he seemed distant, but still loving. The day I was to leave to go back to Texas, I found a note posted on social media posted by a young girl I know. It was his writing and he was telling her how much he missed her and couldn't wait to see her more. I knew it was from him and when I called him to ask, he admitted he had already moved her into our home and did not want me to return. He is 34 and she is 22. I was devastated, shocked....I fell to the floor immediately and spent the following two days in a hospital as I wanted to end my life. In the meantime, he continued to post all about them on social media now that the secret was out to me. In the past two months, the younger woman and her friends have been tormenting me on social media and sending me texts calling me old and used up, and telling me to end my life. I have had to change my phone number and block all communications. She has moved into my house and often posts pictures of herself wearing my clothing, holding my pets on social media. They are now getting married. After two months. This has been the worst, most shocking period of my life and I have no words to describe the feelings I am feeling inside. I feel absolutely dead, angry and sad all at once. Not only did I lose my fiance, my I also lost my house, my belongings and the life I built in Texas all at once. I cannot bring myself to drive to Texas and reclaim what is mine. There is absolutely no reconciliation in sight, in fact I'd like my ex to go to hell. But I cannot help but feel absolutely blind sighted and hurt. I have done everything I can to move forward including buying a new condo in Canada and starting from scratch as I literally have no belongings. I have friends and family around me at all times, but I feel like my life has ended and I have no will to care about anything. How did this man do this to me? Does he miss me? Does he ever think about me? I never could have done this to another person. Any words are good words at this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Momof3littleones Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I'm so sorry you're going through this. No one deserves that treatment. Is the house you purchased in your name also? If so, he needs to buy you out! Second, go there, and take everything that's yours! Do you have any family and friends who can go with you? You are not old and used up. Youth is fleeting. Karma will come back to them I assure you. The best thing you can do is go off social media and totally block your ex and this child from contacting you. Your success at getting over this will be the biggest revenge. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Your story is gut wrenching to me. I know what it feels like to have your SO leave for a younger woman... and also what it feels like to have this person your ex left you for taunt and belittle you. My ex and the tramp he cheated with treated me terribly as well. I went through it almost 4 years ago now. It still hurts sometimes but the pain has mostly dulled to the point of apathy. My best piece of advice to you is to do what you can to block her from contacting you. Do not give her the opportunity to hurt you any further if you can. I can understand your reluctance to go back and claim what is yours. It sounds like it will be a sh*t storm of epic proportions. I say... if you don't have your name on the mortgage or deed and don't have anything personal you'd like back... leave it all and walk away. Most "stuff" can be replaced and your sanity is more important than a bunch of belongings. If you do decide to go back to get your things, bring reinforcements and notify the police beforehand to see if they can monitor or help you. In the past I've had to call the police in another state to go check on my home while I was away because my ex had done something similar. They went and checked the house for me, even went inside to see if it was secure. Maybe the police in Texas could do something similar for you. Save the pictures and things they have posted on facebook if you can. It may come in handy if you have to go to court for theft of your belongings. After you save what you have already seen, ask a friend you can trust to keep an eye on it and continue to save things for you but you need to stop looking yourself. That way you don't have to continue to see it. Above all, be kind to yourself. Don't let what that trash is saying about you get to you. You aren't any of those things. Take it with a grain of salt. Any person who would do what she is doing is not worth taking seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author canadianheart Posted March 7, 2017 Author Share Posted March 7, 2017 Thank you so so much, I'm sad others have gone through this, but glad to know there is light at the end of this long tunnel. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 I suppose taking a trip back to TX and beating the living sh*t out of that snot nosed hooker isn't an option for you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lovetoo Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Hey sweetie, do you pray? I'm not sure how I'd find strength. The only thing I could see that would help me was God, praying, and great friends/people/places to cathart. Also places to forget. Reading. I cannot imagine and have defeated them for greater is He that is in you, than the devil which is in the world. My dear children, you belong to God and have defeated them, because God's spirit who is in you, is greater than the spirit that is in the world. Be joyful, for you have hope. Be patient in times of trouble, and pray at all times. Finally, be strong in the Lord and His great Power. Put on the full armor of God so you can fight against the devil's evil tricks. And use the shield of faith, with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the evil one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Over the summer, we purchased a house together and I felt like our lives were finally falling into place. Several times in the process I asked him if he was sure he was ready to take that step and was happy in our relationship. He always said yes, and I spent a fortune on both the home and furnishing it. What does "we purchased a house together" mean? Are you on the note? On the deed? And why aren't you pursuing a legal/criminal case? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 It's a horrible betrayal. Nobody can fix the heartache, but a good Texas lawyer can get your house and property back and can also address any defamation that may be going on. I also suggest counseling so you can start to make sense of what happened and map a path forward. If you ever consider hurting yourself, call a suicide prevention hotline. Please don't take that path, it hurts people who care about you. You can have a happy future although I know it doesn't seem so now. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Go to Texas. Get your stuff. A police person can escort you to YOUR house to do so. If you are on the deed/mtg you have to deal with that or it will come back to haunt you later in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LilyMila Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 What a despicable pair and I hope karma catches up to them one day. Don't give them the satisfaction of stealing from your emotion as well as your wallet. If you have documentation, go claim your property. Good luck and hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author canadianheart Posted March 7, 2017 Author Share Posted March 7, 2017 Thanks all, I know I have to pick myself up and go there. I'm at a point where I think it will be so difficult to walk into my home while THEY stand there and watch me pack my belongings. The new woman sent me photos of my stuff in boxes in the corner of the garage. I know I have a legal battle ahead of me...its going to take all of my strength to get through. When they call me psychopath and other names and laugh at me for trying, I always second guess myself. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 What a devastating situation. Please be safe and bring a witness with you who can help you pack so you're out of the situation as quick as humanly possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 I know I have a legal battle ahead of me...its going to take all of my strength to get through. Again canadianheart, is this house in your name also ??? The answer to that question would suggest a specific course of action... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
testmeasure Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 . Just remember, if he's capable of doing that to you, he's capable of doing that to her. He's shown you what he's capable of now. The practical questions are: How much equity is there in the home? How much did you contribute to buying it? What is the value of the stuff you left behind? What is the cost of traveling down and transporting it all back? Is your name on the title to the house? I mean this is the biggest serious question. If your name is on the title to the house and he still pays the mortgage, he's still paying for a house that's half yours. He'd be nuts to kick you out and keep paying for a house that's half yours. If your name's on the house he can't even sell it without you. If your name is not on the house do you have a written contract? I believe in Texas agreements about real estate property have to be in writing to be enforceable. So, if your name is not on the house and you don't have a written contract, you really need to talk to a Texas attorney to find out if there is any way to approach your stake in the house. It sounds like the next step depends greatly on the value of your stuff, how much cash you put into the home, how much equity it has, the cost of going, getting, and transporting the stuff, how clear your ownership of the house is, and how emotionally hard it would be to go collect. If they are trying to intimidate you on social media, something tells me you've got something worth collecting. Otherwise, they've already shown what kind of people they are. Both of them. Why would they bother and why would you bother? So, I sense that there is something worth going to get. . Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Thanks all, I know I have to pick myself up and go there. I'm at a point where I think it will be so difficult to walk into my home while THEY stand there and watch me pack my belongings. The new woman sent me photos of my stuff in boxes in the corner of the garage. I know I have a legal battle ahead of me...its going to take all of my strength to get through. When they call me psychopath and other names and laugh at me for trying, I always second guess myself. Hon, Texans aren't the type of people who take depriving a person of their personal property and/or their property rights. It's a cultural thing. I suspect your legal fight might not be as hard as you think. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Ms. MJJean is totally correct... Doesn't sound like either of them are native Texan's. People from here do not act that way. And, the law will be on you side. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) Thanks all, I know I have to pick myself up and go there. I'm at a point where I think it will be so difficult to walk into my home while THEY stand there and watch me pack my belongings. The new woman sent me photos of my stuff in boxes in the corner of the garage. I know I have a legal battle ahead of me...its going to take all of my strength to get through. When they call me psychopath and other names and laugh at me for trying, I always second guess myself. Listen. If I could shake you I would. Get yourself together. Don't be embarrassed or shamed to walk in there and get your stuff. Hold your head high knowing that you are walking away from AWFUL people and be thankful you are getting out of their miserable life. You shouldn't care what they think or say if you because that somehow makes you feel like they're better then you. They aren't. They're trash. Grab your stuff and forget them. We need to know more about the house. Your name or his or both? Edited March 8, 2017 by aileD Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Wow. Just wow. You know what? Let him have that malicious little b**** and a most definitely awful life that will come with her. All you should be saying right now is f*** that guy! You are much better and deserve much better. And keep your head high, buying that new condo for yourself is a first step in the direction to healing. It may not feeling like much but you're taking charge of your situation. It's going to hurt for a while but you're going to pick yourself up and get through this, and get your possessions back in the meantime! F*** that guy! Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Take screenshots of the Facebook messages and phone messages. They will help you to win more in court. Consult a lawyer right away. She may not even have the rights to touch your stuff. Make her pay for what she has done. In some places, the person who intervenes with someone else's marriage and causes divorce can be sued for pay for damage. Don't speak to them or post anything relevant in social media unless you have to. If you do, assume everything you say or you do will be recorded and used against you in court. As for you ex-fiance, consider yourself somewhat lucky that he is leaving you now instead of years later when you have children together. Both of them (him and the new girl) are terrible human beings. On the other hand, the 'explosive fights' you guys had is a red flag, on your side as well. But first things first, protect your rights, then you can spend time to think what went wrong on your side - this is for your benefits so you can do better in future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author canadianheart Posted March 8, 2017 Author Share Posted March 8, 2017 Hi All, Yes my name is on the title of the house. It is mutually owned. Today I have a consultation booked with an attorney. I just can't believe the hell my life has come to. Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Wow what an immature POS, I cannot believe the total disrespect these people have shown you. They definitely don't have a clue, and they're doing this on Facebook... and he's letting his new girl treat you this way I guess it's not bad enough that he just threw you out of his life and out of your own home. He is actually doing you a the biggest favor... and then when she starts doing to him which she used to do for him, he'll be in his own hell with her. I feel so bad for you hold your head up definitely don't go there by yourself... please take care of yourself 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Forget about him as you can see he isn't worth having. Just get every dime that is owed to you and more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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