Just a gal

[Call me crazy]

I met a man 8 years ago after a 25-year relationship. There were red flags everywhere with his drinking too much but I ignored them all. We had allot of arguments over the drinking and broke up a few times but always patched things up. Less than a year after meeting this man I became pregnant and I was terrified but ready and willing to raise our baby boy alone if I had too. We moved in together along with my 9-year-old son at the time of my marriage and became one. The drinking continued but wasn't every day, once or twice a week but to the point of keeping the house up at 2 am with loud music and falling all over the place, nothing I ever wanted my boys to ever see since I myself grew up with an alcoholic father.

 

A few more breakups but we always get back together. One of the worst things was I came home after work to find my almost 2-year-old in a soiled diaper to his knees and his dinner still in the microwave and his father passed out in his little Thomas bed drunker than a skunk and I was livid but said nothing until the next morning when I told him to pack his **** and get out and he did and moved away to Calgary for 3 months within 24hrs with no explanation at all....another episode was I came home from work again to pick up my little one who was now almost 4 years old to him drunk again, we leave to visit with my mom who was very ill with dementia at a young age to get a phone call from my Landlord and the police saying that our son had been reported missing by his father!!

 

The police arrived at my parents home to see that our son was safe with me and they told me that I had a very drunk partner at home who caused the news reporters to be outside our home, my son even made CP24 News as a missing boy....all I did was cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So life goes on........this past late end of August I had enough with his lack of working, back yard drinking I'll be nice and say once or twice a week and mourning the death of my beautiful mom who passed away at the end of April at 69 yrs old that I said I can't do it anymore.

 

I felt like I was dying inside and had no comfort from him at all. I went on Facebook which became my escape for laughter at the time and seen a threat with old friends about alcohol and chatted on it. I ended up chatting with this guy who had been sober for over 2yrs and he gave me some advice.

 

My partner was finally moving out for good this time and I would never have to deal with that anxiety again. He is moved out and I meet up with old friends that I grew up with in the summer and on holidays from a small Northern Town and also the man I chatted with who was sober over 2yrs. He and I hit it off on a good note, he was a great escape from the craziness and made me laugh allot.

 

My partner is continuously messaging me all the time non stop and accusing me of terrible things and all I want is peace of mind for our son and myself on the weekends, plus he is moved out. I did develop a relationship with this man and we did have a few sexual encounters into the Fall but I couldn't do that anymore, that's not who I am so I ended everything with him abruptly and was ready to be just a single mom and during all of this my Partner would send texts and pics about what a real woman feels like etc......

 

After a month and a half my partner and I once again got back together and he told me he was with another woman then wasnt so I'm not sure what to believe and I didn't feel I needed to tell him about what I did because I was single but I gave in and told him everything most recently...prior to getting back we had another fight over all this and he threatened to go on this man's friends list and contact his friends for info, my partner even sent me emails of names I new and I thought this will never end with him and his tangents.

 

I contacted that "Escape Man' and told him what was happening and we did end up talking and texting but nothing serious....just about his family and what I was going through again. We are now breaking up again because he blames me for everything and it's all my fault this happened, he takes blame for nothing and thinks his drinking is normal and I'm the cheating whore meanwhile I wasn't even with him when this happened. Please help me.....Can we work this out or do I close this chapter 4 ever. Thanks Call me Crazy

Edited March 8, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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