darkpink Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Hi, community. I'm new here. But I've had this problem for a long time and I don't know where else to turn to. Most people I know just think I shouldn't have this problem anymore because it has been a really long time. I've been haunted by my past relationship in the sense that I'm afraid of bumping into my ex. I was with him for many years and during the last year, we were long distant due to circumstances. I had always been insecure but I became worse when we were far and kept provoking him for attention. Eventually he broke up with me because he felt better without me in his life. He contacted me back as a friend when we both had found someone new a few months later. I responded to him because I needed closure. But things got ugly when his new girlfriend found out and lashed out at me. Even though my ex was the one who looked for me back, he took her side and threatened to ruin my life for making her mad. I've been happily married to someone else for a few years now and this incident with my ex happened many many years ago. But at times I'm still afraid of bumping into him (and worse, that girl, if he is still with her). Maybe I feel this way because of how things ended between us. I also hold a deep grudge against him no matter how I try to forgive him. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Don't focus on what you lost with him. Focus on how much better off you are with your husband. Your BF may have been great at the time but your husband is great now & for the rest of your lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Are you afraid of bumping into him because old feelings might re-appear or because you feel threatened by him? If he makes threats like that you should contact the authorities if you feel it's serious. This could also have been a traumatic experience that lingers. Perhaps you should seek some therapy. Even if not, therapy isn't ever a bad thing if you feel afraid or in danger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkpink Posted March 8, 2017 Author Share Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) Are you afraid of bumping into him because old feelings might re-appear or because you feel threatened by him? If he makes threats like that you should contact the authorities if you feel it's serious. This could also have been a traumatic experience that lingers. Perhaps you should seek some therapy. Even if not, therapy isn't ever a bad thing if you feel afraid or in danger. I think it's because I feel threatened, but not physically. He had always been an overly critical person who would purposely find faults in others to feel good about himself. And his new girlfriend hated me, according to what he told me. I actually have nothing to be scared of because my life and I are better now. But I agree that I'm traumatized - because I had been verbally abused by him and that girl as well. They had called me with negative labels. Edited March 8, 2017 by darkpink Link to post Share on other sites
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