jah526 Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 There is no emotional connection - you feel attached to him, attracted to him, "obsessed" with him... And he sees you as - the girl who will duck into a closet wih him for a few minutes to give him a little oral attention to make the work day a little more enjoyable? He definitely wants to keep this very limited... He's not even offering you many crumbs - why is that ok with you? This is not love. You deserve more than this from a man. You know that, right? This is definitely very sad. I can sympathize because the same sort of thing was happening to me. Mine would ask for a bj nearly every time, and once he pretty much forced it - but that was the only time. The thing is, you get taught from a young age as a girl to do what people want, to be a people pleaser, and you think that is how you will get love. It is a harsh awakening when you realize that's not the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I think my issue is I am completely obsessed with him. When I'm with him I feel so alive and I really enjoy talking to him and just being around him. I am so physically attracted to him too. I still feel this way after five years. I miss talking to him when I can't. I wish I didn't feel this way about him but I do and I'm afraid I always will. He knows how crazy I am about him too and I don't understand why he would ever turn away from someone so clearly into him. Love obviously doesn't work like that. If love worked like that then it would be tumble-weed on here on LS. "I love you so much, I love you too, let's live happily ever after..." Why would he care about you? You are just the besotted girl who for the last 5 years has given him BJs at work. Hell, he doesn't even get naked with you. All just a hurried fumble, sticks his bit into your mouth and then "Thank you very much Savannah...", if he even says that... How could you possibly think he cares about you? I don't see many romantic novels or rom-coms with this scenario, as their story line, do you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Or, he says his wife tracks his phone so he doesnt have to bother too much with the OP after hours. Very true, it's another way to limit the relationship and keep OP "in her place." Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 What does love mean to these guys anyway? It certainly doesn't involve being faithful. Just curious. I think Jenkins95 answered that -> #7 Another big difference I noticed was in the use of 'I love you'. I think it can mean different things to men and women. We both said it all the time and we meant it. But I think for her, when I started saying that, she took it to mean, perhaps even at a subconscious level, that I loved her exclusively and that I was implying that we would be together. To me, saying those words were a simple exclamation of joy with no hidden meaning or implication. I was effectively saying......' I'm so happy in this moment and you are the cause! I'm crazy about you. Let's just celebrate it!' I didn't realise what this was probably doing to her psychologically. Again, I didn't mean to deceive, I just wanted to express my happiness. Again - another example of male/female differences come to the fore in affairs! Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Noting the skillful segue off the topic of the thread, I'll close this up. No sense in any members getting in trouble for this more than necessary. I'll do a review later and clean it up. Link to post Share on other sites
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