Is there any way he's NOT cheating?

[oldshirt]

As another poster implied earlier in the thread, even if he isn't cheating, does it really matter???

 

Is this where you want to be even if he isn't getting down with someone else?

[cppc]

There're multiple ways for you to dig further:

 

- Check his phone for suspicious text; if it's not convenient then

- Check phone record, if he calls/texts a number more than normal?

- Buy a Voice Activate Recorder, put under his car seat.

 

In anyway, whether he has an affair or not, you need to be stronger. Go to marriage counselor, if he refuses then call it a quit

[FoundMyStrength]

Say he convinces you that all of these things are crazy, that he has a reason for all of these confidence crushing things that add up. Say he gets angry at you when you call him out on it and twists the conversation to make you look and feel insecure.

 

This is called gaslighting and nearly all cheating spouses do it. Because their behavior is suspicious and the clues do add up, so the only tactic they have is to make YOU feel crazy.

 

It seems like you have two options, either become a private detective and use all the tools out there to track him and spy on him, including just doing things like dropping by the office at 8pm to see if he's actually there.

 

The other choice is confronting him now, which runs the risk that he'll continue to gaslight you, change up his patterns, destroy any proof that still exists, and take the affair further underground. Then you'll be stuck with the lies and the gaslighting for months and years.

 

I guess a third choice exists: ask him for a divorce.

[S2B]

I posted on here once before and need to add to it.

 

 

Is this crazy or is there reason to be concerned?

Females- say your partner started working later and later each night. Starting at 7am and finishing at almost 11pm. A casual position. An in between job.

Say he rejects you 80% of the time you want to have sex. And when you have said sex, it is just him putting it in dry and going for less than 2 minutes then falling asleep.

Say you check out his Instagram feed and there is just massive amounts of bikini models half his age. All of them with identical bodies, that are the opposite of your own.

 

Say you ask him casually "when was the last time you had sex? And his reply being "with you?"

Say a beautiful catfish tried adding him on facebook and he only admits it many days later and only when he clued in it was a catfish* (this catfish was not you).

 

Say he convinces you that all of these things are crazy, that he has a reason for all of these confidence crushing things that add up. Say he gets angry at you when you call him out on it and twists the conversation to make you look and feel insecure.

 

Say tonight he made up a ridiculous lie he then realized he was going to get caught out on. He owned up, but when i pushed him as to why he lied, he couldn't answer me.

He keeps insisting he would never cheat, vows and swears it isn't in his nature. But who lies unless they want to cover something up?

 

Let's say...

 

He's a man (husband) cheating you out of a healthy, connected and trusting marriage based on mutual admiration and respect.

 

I wouldn't waste my time on him. He's got a LOT of other interests going on and you seem to be at the bottom of his priority list.

 

Honey, ANY guy that treated me like a dry receptacle for sex would never get near me again.

 

Your so called husband isn't fulfilling his role of a spouse.

 

Looks like cheating. If he's not he's just a common jerk.

Edited March 12, 2017 by S2B

[Jooles]

Regardless of whether or not your husband is cheating-he is not being a good partner, nor giving you what you need emotionally.

 

Honestly, if I were you I would find out what he is up to first. Can you sit outside his work at the time he used to leave and see?

 

Are you prepared to deal with answers that you may not like? Could you live on your own? I could not tolerate living the way you have described. Perhaps an honest talk with him and lay it on the line: " things are not right in our marriage, and we need to either mend it or end it. " And really mean what you say to him- no threats.