Nameless-shyguy Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I've fallen for this amazing emo girl who goes to my school. We have some mutual friends and we met a year ago and I've liked her since. She has a really low self-esteem tho and i have a huge lack of confidence and I'm shy af. I have social anxiety and she suffers from depression. Recently she told me she was thinking about killing herself and I'm devastated coz i think she's the most talented (art), attractive ( funny and understanding) and beautiful person in my life. She keeps pushing everyone away coz she thinks that she will hurt less people if they aren't close to her, she even asked if it would be a good idea to make people hate her. Then she told me, when i told her I liked her and she rejected me, "out of all the girls you could have chosen" "Imagine that I did go out with you and then a bit later you'd have to say "my gf committed suicide" and you'd just be stuck with that" and "Either way it's not safe for me to to go out with anyone. All my rejections have good intentions, I just don't wanna hurt anyone" I have no idea what to do, someone please help :/ Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 If you know her full name and town or address, call the police and tell them this girl keeps saying she's going to kill herself. How would you feel if you didn't even try to get someone to check on her? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 all you can do is be her friend i wouldnt suggest calling the police when someone says im thinking about killing myself i do suggest you talk to her about seeking help.see fi her other friends are aware of her depression seek advice from a suicide prevention hot line on what to watch out for...and what you should do..tell her what you said here how she is one of the most beautiful people in your life how she is funny and understanding and you treasure her friendship.....twofold reason here....one is to make her feel special and important the other is to remind her she has made a difference in your life and feel that obligation to remain living because if she wereto do it...it would affect you...this doesnt even need to eb said...if you point out why you love her in your life..... i write from personal experience I have attempted suicide..and just before i do ...i dont tell anyone...i start to organize things ....give away my stuff.....get my financials in order.....and make plans ......what has stopped me in this phase ....is the love i have for those around me..my friends...my family.....i want to live for them.....because they need me.....they love me...they care......when i dont care anymore they care......a shrink once told em right before he shocked me with massive doses of electricity....fight...fight for the ones that love you fi you cant love yourself......and i fight on......i dotn think ect helped em at all honestly ..i think it was his passion for me......to keep me alive......his support...his two words he repeated often you fight debbie....you're a fighter ...keep fighting...those small words...made a difference....the people who love....save me all the time.....they dont even have to say anything anymore...i know i have to stay.....i dont see shrinks anymore or take medication .one of my suicide attempts was impulsive....luxckily an inner voice told me to tell my partner...my family would not survive if i left.......and so i told my guy.....he called the ambulance and they had em in hospital before i knew it...pumping my gut...adn forcing charcoal down my throat.........i took every medication in the house including a months worth of mine....maybe two hundred tablets...i retch now with one..... they said in hospital i was really lucky ...and that my body fights hard.......i already knew that....i have nearly died quite a few times.....so glad i didnt..... medication other than panadol is not good for me to have around.....if i am really suicidal i need to be admitted.....and under supervision..i become secretive and impulsive and thats bad,.......i know that.....lately ......i found my faith a home where it belongs..... and bishops who i can speak to when i get dark......my bishop now has a way of really thinking before he speaks and not telling me what to do but giving me perspective in honest and heartfelt words.......my spirit resonates his honesty and respects his way of communicating with the dark side.....the lighter side o fme si so grateful for his presence in my life.....liek a dad...even though he is younger he has that dad like wisdom..... artists by the way...actors and writers especially poets....are often dark......they have that dark side that art soothes......until it gets too much......its fact......be there fro her...and trust everything i said comes from a place of wanting to see her make it too......i wish i could speak to her....but i cant...so you do it for me...make her feel beautiful and irreplaceable......be happy she told you...if she didnt tell somebody and starts giving away special possessions.....to you ro anyone...worry then.......and contact a suicide prevention hotline ...document suspect behaviors.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nameless-shyguy Posted March 13, 2017 Author Share Posted March 13, 2017 I've tried telling her that me and a bunch more people care about her but she says that she hurts people and then pushes us away. I honestly think I'm starting to love her. Ive had this crush for nearly a year now. This has back fired tho coz she said she doesn't expect people to like her and coz I'm being caring she thinks I'm being fake. Also now I've been rejected (sorta) i have literally no idea what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 I've tried telling her that me and a bunch more people care about her but she says that she hurts people and then pushes us away. I honestly think I'm starting to love her. Ive had this crush for nearly a year now. This has back fired tho coz she said she doesn't expect people to like her and coz I'm being caring she thinks I'm being fake. Also now I've been rejected (sorta) i have literally no idea what to do. there's not much you can do except be there for her...its hard for the people who care for people with mental illness....i will say this...people that stick around are like lights on shore....depression can be isolating and a lot of that isolation comes from us.....we isolate ourselves when the going gets rough...but i am lucky i have people who sit there blinking their lights knowing i will come back....they call me come over and see me......and give me the space i need......keep in contact with that bunch of people you said care for her.....watch out for worrying signs....if you have her mobile send her jokes or positive messages short ones ...just to let her know when she is ready she could contact you if she wanted to....im sorry this has happened for her and for you and those that care for her...i hope she sees the lights waiting for her and heads back soon....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Occasional suicidal thoughts are extremely common among teenagers. You go to the same school, so I assume that you're teenagers. I'm not saying that you should tell her parents about the suicide comment, but you should tell her to tell her parents that she wants to speak with a counselor/therapist. If they're decent people, they'll find someone she can relate to who has a successful practice focusing on teenagers and their families. Her mentioning suicidal thoughts may just be honesty (practically all of us have those thoughts from time to time), or it may be a cry for attention. There's no way for me to know. Girls attempt suicide far more often than boys do, but boys commit suicide more often than girls do - guys use more deadly methods - fewer pills, and more gunshots, hanging, and intentional high-speed vehicle crashes. I say that because being the boyfriend of someone who's attempted suicide has its downside, but being the boyfriend of someone who actually killed herself really sucks. You may blame yourself, and her family or others may also blame you, at least in part. You may already have some sense of whether she's actually capable of killing herself. If there are firearms in the house, they're available to her, and she's talked about definite plans to put a bullet in her head, it may be more likely that she'd do it. You actually seem like a very compatible couple. I love it when two shy people find each other - they make the cutest couples. My advice is to stay close to her, but on the condition that she get someone qualified and capable to talk to. She may need medication or a different medication to help with her depression, and she may just need someone who can help her organize her thoughts and priorities. The fact is that every time she's thought of killing herself she's found a compelling reason not to. Her suicidal thoughts may be no more frequent than average for people your age - she may just be more open about it, which doesn't necessarily mean that she's more likely to try it. The depression is the factor of greatest concern, and there isn't much you can do about that. Just don't intentionally betray her trust in a big way, and seek reasonable assurance that she's taking her meds and continuing her treatment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nameless-shyguy Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Thanks for the help, but there are some issues. First of, were not actually a couple, she rejected me and then told me about everything and why she can't date people as she hurts everyone. Also, now we've had that talk it's been a bit awkward and I'm trying really hard but i lack the confidence to keep starting the conversation, especially after the rejection. So, it's really complicated and she likes to shut herself of alot of the time. But i see ur points and i will keep trying my best, but sometimes i feel like my best isn't good enough :| Link to post Share on other sites
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