Question about possible cheater!!!!!

[not_sure_what_2_do]

To make a long story short... I have been engaged in a flirtatious fling with a guy at work. The problem is that he is married but that hasn't stopped him from flirting. He has made it apparent that he is interested by the way he acts and the compliments he gives me.

 

Well, we emailed each other a few times and flirted that way as well (I wasn't planning on doing ANYTHING with him, was just having fun flirting). One one occasion I had told him that I find him intriguing. Not exactly letting him know that I am attracted to him. I just wanted him to know that he intrigued me.

 

That was the only time that he DIDN'T reply back. I had thought that he was "avoiding" me or "hiding" from me but it turns out that he had to manage the area because our supervisor was out of town and he had different hours than he usually has. But when I thought that he was avoiding me, I started to avoid him and didn't see him for 2 weeks. That is the longest that we didn't see each other.

 

During the two weeks, I had accepted another position. It is still in the same complany just in a different area. When we finally saw each other again, he was somewhat happy to see me. He asked how I had been cuz he didn't see me in a while, he wanted to know how I was doing. I said good but I didn't mention anything about my new position that is starting august 1st. He didn't act as if he was angry at me for the email. He acted as if he did before the email. But he had changed his look. He looks really great now! and this was only after the 2 weeks... he changed his appearance.

 

Well, i finally did tell him about the new position beacuse he had asked how my schooling was going. But I didn't tell him about the fact that it is in the same building (company) but in a completely different area. I didn't want to tell him any of it because I am afraid that something might happen between us cuz I don't want to be the other woman.

 

Well, now that I told him about the new position, he WON'T STOP BUGGING ME about it! He keeps asking me about it, if I am excited, where it is, what will I be diong.

 

The other day he asked when I start. I told him august 1st. and I said that I will still be here though. He said, somewhat relieved and surprised mixed together, "Oh here??? Oh!"

 

Then today, he asked... "Are u excited? Where are you going to work?" .... I said.... Here but in the lab department.

 

He said.... Oh, I thought u are keeping your job here and just found another second job?

 

I said.... I will be here 1 or 2 days a week but I am full time in lab.

 

Why does he keep asking me about this new position? Is he sad that he won't see me as much??? For the last 5 days straight, he has been really drilling me about this new job. Why? He did this about my schooling, about working out with him.... whay does he keep asking me about the same things over and over???

 

He remembers everything I tell because he practically answers his own questions. It's bothering me. Why does he do this???

[loony]

Is this the other thread that you had started? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t67334/

 

He's asking all these questions, because he's trying to have contact with you. Cut him off, he's married = unavailable = taboo = not going to leave his wife and children for you = using you probably = going to cause you a lot of heartache, etc. If you continue with this, you will very likely start your next thread as the other woman. You're not involved yet, so stop it now.

[XNemesisX]

I was just thinking the same thing, Loony. I think this has been posted before.

 

not_sure_what_to_do,

 

The last thread you started...it seemed like that was when he was still ignoring your email/hadn't replied yet and I remember you were nervous/excited about seeing him again 2 weeks from then. So, it looks like everything went fine so that is good!

 

Did you ask him why he never responded? Has he still not responded to that one email?

 

It could just be that he is a flirt. He may have enjoyed the flirting, but didn't want to take things further.

 

Also...the way he acted when you saw him again.....it could just be his personality. He seems like a flirter!

 

I know that you like him, but you need to remember that he is married and it could seriously bring you some major misery later down the road if you end up involved with him. Keep it light, flirt a little if you want, but don't give yourself grief by getting involved with him. I can assure you that that is all you will give yourself if you do that.

 

Good luck!

[Zaira]

Nothing wrong with flirting. It's natural, but don't let things go any further than that. It's too dangerous for all involved, which includes his wife and any children.

[not_sure_what_2_do]

I know that if something starts between us that all hell will break loose. That is why I accepted the new position in the first place. At first I was very reluctant to accept it because I had strong feelings for this guy but I opened up my eyes and accepted it. I have been actually turned off by him with all these questions he asks and his interested in "if I am staying or not".

 

At first I thought that I was desperate to have HIM but it seems more so that he is desperate to have ME! I have stopped emailing him and now he talks to me more and more than usual. He still hasn't responded to that email I sent him but like I said, he talks to me much more.

 

There is another guy who just re-entered my life. It is someone that I went to high school with. I used to have a major crush on him just shortly before this married man got into my head. My crush left for a few months out of state and he came back just recently and now I am in contact with him again and we've been on one date so far. That is great because I like this guy so much that I don't really have anything for the married man anymore! It's wonderful!

 

But I was just wondering why he keeps drilling me with these questions?!?

 

Thanks for all your posts! You are all so wonderful!