Trying to put myself first

[trustyourself]

Another update. It's been almost 6 months of NC. Dating has been rocky but not the worst. I've found that I still have some walls up and respond to people in a way that kind of assumes they are jerks, if they take actions that are in any way ambiguous, and that's definitely baggage speaking. I have an opportunity to try to sort something out and fix a baggage-related response I had that didn't make a difficult situation any better (even though the issue in the first place is the other person's and I didn't cause it). But it's made me accept that I'm bound to make some mistakes in trying to date again for real after a long and difficult last relationship. I don't think my changing my response will salvage this newer dating situation, but it still feels good to recognize that things don't need to be the way that they were when I was with someone who actually mistreated me!

 

So if you're going NC to get over someone toxic, hang in there, and be patient with yourself if it's left you with some kinks to still work out even when you get to the other side.

Hey J,

 

Glad to hear you are progressing

 

I am at 2 months nc now, and today has been really difficult. I am struggling to improve myself, as I feel paralyzed by the memory of her. I want to let go, but I am really struggling.

 

Any advice or pointers on how to get motivated and self improve? I know I have a long journey ahead, but honestly i feel like I am still stuck and have made no progress.

 

Why are toxic relationships so hard to overcome? You think it would be the opposite.

 

Ugh

[SpecialJ]

I'll PM you, but it took me more than two months to make any "real" progress. Up to that point, the two months of NC themselves were more progress than I was giving myself credit for and setting up the foundation for more.