jony Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Hello~ I'm from Hong Kong. We broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago My problem is…..We work in a same company/office! She already has a new boyfriend now (which is her friend before, they known each others long time ago (6 years) since studying at college in LA. The boy chased her before (6 years ago), but my ex rejected him at that time. After that, they became a friend. And she always said that herself and this boy will never been a couple, since their value and personality won't match. The boy worked in LA after graduate and quit his job at the end of 2016. After a 1.5 year haven’t see each other (but still keep contact as a best-friend), they met again and hang out frequently in Jan 2017. At the end of Jan, my ex-girlfriend wants to break up with me, and said she has some “special love feeling” towards this boy. At the Beginning of Feb, they been together (before Valentine day). ———————————————- My ex are 24 yrs old, and I am 8 years older than her. She is a emotional and forthrightness girl, and always has negative thought and confused mind, a little bit childish and headstrong (but i still love her). We work in the same company/office (we are colleague), but we seldom work together, since we are in different department, and handling different field. But we can still see each others everyday (Mon to Fri) since our office is not big. She still trying to remain friend with me, and keep chat with me like a “close friend”. She sometimes ask for my comment/opinion about her job or life. I never contact her proactively, but she often called me by internal phone in office (or sometime send text message), and sometimes ask me to go out for lunch with her. She keeping contact me on working days/working hour, but never contact me at the weekend (she hang out with his new boyfriend at the weekend). How do i apply “no contact rule”? I can’t avoid to pick up the phone call in office, but She is emotional and headstrong person. If she feel that I go cold and obviously ignoring her, she will choose to leave far away from me and will never talk to me again in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Your only contact seems to be in the office or during the workday. This is the problem with having a romantic relationship with a co-worker in the first place: dating a co-worker makes it virtually certain that you end up seeing an ex every day in the workplace. Regarding your question about having no contact whatsoever with her, you can't. It would be unprofessional and inappropriate to ignore a colleague's simple "hello." If others observe you acting rudely toward her (and not returning a spoken "hello" is extremely rude), it will hurt your standing in the workplace and career. That said, your assessment that her personality is childish is likely one of the things that attracted you to her in the first place. After all, you were aware of your significant age difference from the beginning. Thinking that you would never break up or that it would be comfortable for you to interact with her after a breakup may have been childish on your part. When two people have a romantic relationship and have to see each other every day at work after it's over, one usually leaves and finds work elsewhere. That's why it's a good idea not to date co-workers in the first place. Not only that, but things like your idea of ignoring all contact from her in the workplace poisons the work environment for everyone. It isn't in the best interests of your firm and its clients. Seriously, you never thought it a bad idea to date a colleague? That's short-sighted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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