You have a choice to be with someone forever

[OldSoulBiz]

Let's set the stage:

 

You are presented with two people, a virgin and a non-virgin.

 

Now, before you rush your answer, let's cover some details:

 

Both of them are the same in terms of looks, qualities, successes, etc. They're both a "catch," so to speak. So, what it comes down to is one has "experience," where they've had multiple partners in the past, and the other doesn't. But, there are no guarantees.

 

Just because the non-virgin is experienced when it comes to sex, doesn't mean that they're good in bed, and at the same time, the virgin can be good in bed after some experience. And vice versa (non-virgin good in bed, virgin not good in bed).

 

At the end of the day: You have no other information other than they're both great, awesome people, where one is a virgin, and the other isn't.

 

You have to make a decision as to who you'd rather be with. Who would you pick? Why? Any past experiences that have influenced your answer? Please, let us know!

 

Note: If you have answers such as: "Doesn't matter to me" and "I don't care," then don't bother posting, because you're not adding anything to the discussion.

[Gaeta]

When I met my ex-husband I was a virgin still. He had his pick of women. He was in the army, handsome, and he had dated around and even had a child already.

 

When he met me he could have decided to not bother with a young virgin woman requiring time and patience but he picked me to date and marry because he fell in love with me.

 

In his grand plan of marrying, building a home and a family, I doubt 'who's best in bed' mattered. He was primarily looking for a loyal woman to fall in love with.

 

So even though you don't want to hear it: it does not matter

[duncsvoice]

Weirdly, had a conversation like this with my missus the other day, both glad that we're experienced and we're teaching each other new things.

 

However, her sexual history has absolutely nothing to do with why I'm with her. So sorry about that, I agree with Gaeta, it doesn't matter.

[Mrin]

If it is for the rest of my life then it doesn't matter.

 

@Gaeta: Let me ask you a question on that though. I get that it didn't matter to him. But did it ever matter to you when you were married? Like did you ever have any regrets not experiencing sex with another man. If only for context sake?

[GorillaTheater]

Give me a non-virgin every time. The last time I was with a virgin was about 35 years ago, and being with another sounds like a pain in the ass.

[d0nnivain]

Assuming everything else is equal, I need another piece of info -- ages.

 

 

At my age now, almost 50 -- non-virgin. You hold out that long without sex, & I don't wanna know what was going on in your head or what kind of hang ups you have. My first OLD date ever was a guy who was probably in his 50s who wanted to consummate his marriage, impregnate his new wife and lose his virginity all in the same act. I ran outta there SO FAST.

 

 

The younger the age, probably virgin would be OK. I had many friends who waiting until their 20s to change their status.

 

 

By the 30s. non-virgin even though for the right person I could be persuaded to not factor that in. I'd have to know something about why the person made the decisions they did.

[GunslingerRoland]

When my wife and I met we were virgins.

 

But that was a long time ago. if I became single at some point in the future, given this scenario I'd choose to be with the non virgin.

[PrettyEmily77]

Neither.

 

If it's a 'rest of our lives together' sort of choice, I'm not likely to take that type of risk blindfolded, and will need to know for sure there is sexual compatibility, regardless of past experience (or lack thereof) before committing fully to a lifetime of potential bad sex.

[central]

I'll let you know after I've had sex with each (both?) a bunch of times. So far, there's not enough information to decide, and while skill can be learned, attitude and interest level (towards me, specifically) also matters, and can't be determined without sharing the experience of sex.

 

 

Now, if I am forced to choose, then I'd have to try to evaluate attitude and interest based on asking questions, but the non-virgin would have an advantage in being able to answer based on past experience, not just self-perception and speculation. Besides, I would not want to have to train someone in the basics.

[RecentChange]

Let's say ALL things being equal.

 

I would choose the non virgin.

 

I would prefer someone who choose me having already had a bit of experience. That they had tried a few flavors and decided that they liked mine best.

 

If they had never tried ice cream, maybe they would think vanilla was amazing, yet they had no idea that there is also rocky road. I would want to be with someone who had a bit of experience before making their choice.

[Gaeta]

@Gaeta: Let me ask you a question on that though. I get that it didn't matter to him. But did it ever matter to you when you were married? Like did you ever have any regrets not experiencing sex with another man. If only for context sake?

 

At first I took pride in only having been with the man that became my husband but with the years I started wondering how it would be with other men. At times it may have felt like a regret, yes. When we divorced and I was intimate with other men then I realized my ex was a very good lover though.

 

My regrets is to have married my first boyfriend. That I regret to this day. I wish I had experienced with life and I had dated different men before settling. I would have been better equipped to make a good choice in a partner and better equipped to engage in a marriage.

[somanymistakes]

I regret not marrying my first boyfriend... still working on fixing that one.

[basil67]

In your hypothetical situation (which would never occur in real life) I will take the non-virgin.

 

However, if it was real life, I'd be able to get more information before deciding whether or not to rule out the virgin. And as a previous poster said, age is crucial here. A 22yo virgin has probably been unlucky or simply matured later and wouldn't be problem. But a 40yo virgin probably lacks the social skills I'd require in a partner....or they've got religious stuff going on. Either way, that would rule out the older virgin.