I asked for it Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 (edited) I need help and support to remain NC. I ended it a week ago. I know, only a week, yet I'm missing him insanely. I miss his voice, I miss him. Edited March 14, 2017 by I asked for it Cut out unnecessary info Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Whatever you do.. DO NOT break it. You need some light and the threads here give enough of it to you. Read them and realise that affairs are useless shhit 1 week is too raw, only people who respected themselves enough got through it.. I am trying to be one of them. ( 4 months+ NC and I was your mirror 4 months back) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Forget all that "love of my life", "my soulmate" and "twin flame" stuff that was easily said and done to keep you giving him sex and attention. He tells you exactly what you want to hear. He tapped into your desire to have a home and a family and used that information to manipulate you. Had he really believed that, then he would have moved out pronto and you would be together now. He is a cake eater, he has his lovely wife and baby and he has you for fun and excitement. He is "da man", he has two besotted women who both think he is wonderful, who wouldn't like that? Unfortunately, to him you are not "wife material" you helped him cheat, you lie, you are an OW, he couldn't really trust you... So he is going nowhere and even if he and his wife did split he would spend all his time trying to win her back or find a new "innocent" woman to marry... Its hypocritical, its unfair but it is what it is and not uncommon. Spend some time on these boards and listen to the tales of other women. Fact is, he used you, and whilst that is a kick in the guts, that realisation can also help you heal quicker. He is not worth your tears, you deserve so much better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
csad Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 I think the key point is keep yourself busy. Turn off your phone. Go out, talk to your friend, eat, exercise. At night you come here and read. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Are you wanting or hoping for a reconciliation? Or are you wanting this to be over over? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Are you wanting or hoping for a reconciliation? Or are you wanting this to be over over? I think deep down she wants him to leave his wife and choose her. But he hasn't/didn't so she is left with little option but to put up and shut up, so she chose to leave instead. Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Right now, you will go through nothing but an incredible and seemingly endless flood of confusing emotions constantly. You will regret ending it; you will find yourself wishing he would break NC and contact you and somehow save you from you hellish pain you are in. Everything you do, say, and see will somehow bring you back to him, despite your hardest effort to let go. Right now it will also seem impossible for you to believe anyone here telling you that in time you will get over him. You WILL. But more than anything, in time you will also be proud of yourself for being strong enough to end it. It will not be easy, at all. But, remind yourself that YOU ended it. Take one day at a time. Come here and post. The people who post here and read here have been people in your shoes. One last thing, READ as many posts in this forum as you can. It will give you a touch of comfort and some level of understanding knowing how many people understand what you are going through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 I didn't see your original post, which seems like it had more information in it. I don't know why you've chosen NC, but here's the deal. It's the only way to heal, but it's a painful painful journey. And there's no shortcut to getting through it. You just have to walk over the coals. What helped me was to get back to other meaningful things in my life. Got involved in a sport I'd given up, reconnected with old friends, joined some new activities, got into individual counseling, joined a meditation class, etc. 6 months later, and I finally feel happy again. More like my old self. And you should stay NC regardless of whether you still harbor hopes of getting back with him. Whatever else happens, he needs to figure out his marriage alone, with his wife. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. Maybe he loves you to death, and decides to leave her, maybe not. But if he knows that you will always be there as a support, he'll never have the motivation to figure it out and make a decision. NC forces him to do that. And, yes, it might not work out in your favor. But if so, that was always going to be the case. Link to post Share on other sites
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